And so id like to be a debt free girl....but....

DrWatson1

Raven42 wrote: »

Lots of good advice here.

It might not be for you as it isn't for everyone but I found the only way to get truly out of the debt vortex (0% card after card/consolidation etc.) was to first learn how to save, and secondly completely destroy my credit report.

I can hear the groans as I say it but I had exactly the same as you with one of them big balanced Barclaycards with hideous APR, once I let it default interest was stopped and I was talking to somebody more keen to lose the debt than grow it.

Keep your Capital One card and be sure to set it to "payment in full" each month once you get to that stage.

I only suggest this to somebody who has brought their home and clearly isn't looking to move in the next 8 years and you need to be prepared for the hard yards, like finding the full cost of your phone as SIM only contracts are all that is on offer etc but it worked for me and I'm a couple of years off all those defaults falling off.

Once you realise it isn't your credit report you should be scraping to keep but actually your own money it is enjoyable to build the pots. Just never let them have a current phone number and always answer every letter and respond offering up payments that fit with your new saving circumstances. Stick to your word and I found they bother you far less than those actual companies I was dealing with before and usual settled for less than was owed.

Give it a think, maybe it's against everything you stand for and the general vibe of the group, but it is an option.

I agree with all of this. looking at some of the APRs you have, it's something worth considering. It's not for everyone, but it worked for me as I was settled in my home with no plans to go anywhere in the medium term.

Once you learn how to budget properly, you will never want or need credit again anyway, so you should at least seriously examine the option.

One final piece of advice - if you haven't already, dump the protein and vitamin supplements! With any kind of balanced diet, you can get all the protein and vitamins naturally. I'm an academic researcher in health and fitness, so I'm basing this view on available scientific evidence, not hearsay!

Good luck in your (supplement free!) journey

Lancashirelass1

Hi there,
I think the actual idea is great because I'd stop paying and then setting aside the money anyway and offering the money. However, I have thought about this option and it was discussed in the meeting as I'd got myself a bit upset.
It has been discussed but in 12/13 months I won't have this debt.
I have applied myself very seriously to this plan, I think the added default would just stress me out. I can honestly not have it.
This is something I have to do, the habits I'm already forming are great, I have a budget which I really don't mind, I don't feel that I'm missing out.
I've got money set aside for things that myself and financial advisor carefully went through what I needed.
Including even birthday, Christmas, car, servicing, and clothes.
I have also given it all a lot of thought going forward, I think I really need this not just to get out of debt, but so I don't do this again.
I now have five bank accounts with added on accounts to set aside....all named a different thing!
I will, by the time I've done this, will enjoy these increasing because short term goal is from now to December to form better habits in my spending and shopping and all this is for long term, I have to listen to all this advice and I take it all on board, this is a way of life, just like my healthy eating, gym, I aim to do it with money.
I have enough things to last me, clothes, beauty products, so from now to December I'll not be spending money on this.
Up to now, I've been either just under or yesterday 2.00 over my budget in shopping.
I've started to keep a spending diary and I'm actually enjoying it all!
So, I think for next few months I've set it for myself, a short term goal and up to now in my first month I'm doing really good.
I need to keep the momentum going, hence setting myself short goals.
I do this for the gym!
OK vitamins, I take omega super strength, vitamin d3 and in the morning I have a protein shake with spinach and some other things. I put a bcaa in there too.
I do this everyday because I can't eat in the morning until about 11. So that's my breakfast.
Then I eat all day then, healthy fats, protein, veg and good carbs.
I tend to eat more on weight training days and I am better doing that in my lunch hour.
I love talking about health and fitness, so I'm interested in your research. What do I have if I just can't stomach a breakfast in the morning?
But like my gym, I do this as it makes me not only healthy, but I really enjoy it, it helps me focus and feel strong. I also think that going to the gym has prevented me from going mad, I have been able to cope with so much even all this debt!
Thanks guys......

bexster1975

Hi Lancashire

I think it's clear you can well afford the gym, supplements etc if you feel they make a difference to you I'm afraid I wouldn't quit them. What do we live for, if not some of the things that make us feel amazing! Your last post sounds fully determined - what a difference a few days can make!

Maintaining motivation will be easier if you keep posting here - a sort of accountability. I don't think you will need it. You are already seeing the reasons you have to do this. Much like exercise and weight loss, once you see and feel the difference, you don't want to go back.

Have a great Sunday

Bexster

Lancashirelass1

Thank you...and thank you to everyone for uplifting me with this.
I truly believe that I help at least 50 people every week, and now it's my turn to need the help and support and I'm taking all the help I can get.
This is not a phase, some people set goals that might be unreasonable or too hard to sustain.
Going forward I'd love to plan my holiday, all the lovely things with my daughter but I'm not.
One of the things for me is practice and setting myself up to succeed and I really do know that it will be a bumpy road, but look how far I've come already, I've done so much and now it's time to put in actions.......as it's speaks louder than words!!
It's not been easy though, I'm really behind at work, I've had to take time off and I've had a few arguments with companies about changing bank accounts, paying off, discussing Apr rates etc and it really is like they don't want me to pay off.....which isn't good for my karma.....but it's annoyed me, if they're speaking to me that way, how do people cope who are less assertive or in a worse position, it's really annoyed me actually making me even more determined.....
As discussed my dad is very sick, he is the most determined tenacious man you will ever meet , I think I get it from him, which isn't a bad thing, and his advice about me using my passport more, wasn't advice, it was an instruction....to pay everything and to enjoy my life.
I do totally know too, that if I mess up, if I struggle, or I get really down about it, I know I can come on here share the good and bad.
I just hope I keep this positive momentum going......goal one was to come on here....and I'm so glad that I did. From here, I'll just keep posting good and the not so good.....hoping it's just mostly good.....
Today......I've done my housework and I'm going to Starbucks for the coffee treat and I'm going out with my family and furry friends.....
Have a great Sunday everyone.....

DrWatson1

Lancashirelass1 wrote: »

I do this for the gym!
OK vitamins, I take omega super strength, vitamin d3 and in the morning I have a protein shake with spinach and some other things. I put a bcaa in there too.
I do this everyday because I can't eat in the morning until about 11. So that's my breakfast.
Then I eat all day then, healthy fats, protein, veg and good carbs.
I tend to eat more on weight training days and I am better doing that in my lunch hour.
I love talking about health and fitness, so I'm interested in your research. What do I have if I just can't stomach a breakfast in the morning?
But like my gym, I do this as it makes me not only healthy, but I really enjoy it, it helps me focus and feel strong. I also think that going to the gym has prevented me from going mad, I have been able to cope with so much even all this debt!
Thanks guys......

Yes, physical activity is so much more important than people realise for mental as well as physical health, so I'd certainly never suggest stopping your gym membership.

My area of expertise is more physiology and psychology, so I'm afraid I can't really offer you any specific ideas for diet/nutrition. However, it actually sounds like you have a fairly structured approach to your diet, and therefore it's not necessarily what expert opinion is, it's whether it works for you.

Breakfast is obviously an important meal though, so I'd encourage you to find something you can eat as a matter of routine. In terms of optimal, anything high in fibre is good as it takes your body longer to break down than sugar, therefore providing a steady release of energy.

I personally go for a good quality muesli with added nuts. There are better options, such as porridge, but I find my muesli gives me a decent balance between nutrition while being tasty!

Lancashirelass1

DrWatson1 wrote: »

Yes, physical activity is so much more important than people realise for mental as well as physical health, so I'd certainly never suggest stopping your gym membership.

My area of expertise is more physiology and psychology, so I'm afraid I can't really offer you any specific ideas for diet/nutrition. However, it actually sounds like you have a fairly structured approach to your diet, and therefore it's not necessarily what expert opinion is, it's whether it works for you.

Breakfast is obviously an important meal though, so I'd encourage you to find something you can eat as a matter of routine. In terms of optimal, anything high in fibre is good as it takes your body longer to break down than sugar, therefore providing a steady release of energy.

I personally go for a good quality muesli with added nuts. There are better options, such as porridge, but I find my muesli gives me a decent balance between nutrition while being tasty!

Dr Watson, thank you, but I really, really cannot stomach anything in the morning,I will try though. Its very strange, as I have got older, I just cant eat! Perhaps this is part of a habit, and I can actually eat, its just that i am in a habit....In my shake this morning, it sounds awful but its really nice, I put one small scoop of whey protein, some water, a handful of spinach, handful of frozen fruit, this morning it was raspberries, a full tub of Quark, BCAA (a tiny amount) a spoonful of fiber some chia seeds...and I drink it, i mix it up and change it every day, weekends are the only day I can eat breakfast as I can eat it later, i usually have poached egg or an omelette!
Yes my diet isn't always brilliant, sometimes i have to miss meals because i am that busy at work, or I am always on the go, I do prep my food though, and all this money and my tidying it all up, I am back on it again, as it sort of fell off the wagon, but my tea, is always and mostly prepped in the morning, tonight its chicken and veg (all from Aldi I will add!)
OOOH physiology - how interesting, I have just been interviewed actually a couple of weeks ago by a student, because I was an older mum studying Law at uni with a young child and the reasons why I studied later in the life, my upbringing etc - it was actually very interesting. Perhaps you can lecture me on my sometimes very lazy, I cant be bothered with the gym tonight attitude I sometimes have.....so hard going when i have had a bad day at work, I have to force myself and tell myself 'come on, just 15 minutes, if i cant stand it, then I can leave' this is the argument i have with myself at least twice per week, once i am there though I am OK and I have never left after 15 minutes! I read a book called the chimp paradox, and that its my chimp being lazy and not me! So she is affectionately named Lola....Lola is very lazy!

Thank you re the tips, I will try my best to eat in the mornings!!!

bexster1975

Hi Lancashire

Just to say, we are a similar age and I find increasing that I feel nauseous in the am and can't eat. This has actually proved very useful as I've lost a huge amount of weight in the past four years, but I'm with you and it wasn't always the case that I couldn't eat. I have a shake in the am.

As for the exercise, generally I feel like doing it about 30 mins into it.

Bexster

DrWatson1

Lancashirelass1 wrote: »

Dr Watson, thank you, but I really, really cannot stomach anything in the morning,I will try though. Its very strange, as I have got older, I just cant eat! Perhaps this is part of a habit, and I can actually eat, its just that i am in a habit....In my shake this morning, it sounds awful but its really nice, I put one small scoop of whey protein, some water, a handful of spinach, handful of frozen fruit, this morning it was raspberries, a full tub of Quark, BCAA (a tiny amount) a spoonful of fiber some chia seeds...and I drink it, i mix it up and change it every day, weekends are the only day I can eat breakfast as I can eat it later, i usually have poached egg or an omelette!

Yes my diet isn't always brilliant, sometimes i have to miss meals because i am that busy at work, or I am always on the go, I do prep my food though, and all this money and my tidying it all up, I am back on it again, as it sort of fell off the wagon, but my tea, is always and mostly prepped in the morning, tonight its chicken and veg (all from Aldi I will add!)

It sounds like your shake is pretty healthy, and probably provides as many calories as any other breakfast, so as long as your energy levels are okay and you're not snacking on junk in the afternoon to compensate, I wouldn't worry about it! As I said previously, if you are fit and healthy and your current diet and activity levels work for you, then don't change just for the sake of it. of course, you can always try to make small changes based on sound advice, but if they don't suit you then don't think twice about reverting back to what does work for you and what you enjoy

Lancashirelass1 wrote: »

OOOH physiology - how interesting, I have just been interviewed actually a couple of weeks ago by a student, because I was an older mum studying Law at uni with a young child and the reasons why I studied later in the life, my upbringing etc - it was actually very interesting. Perhaps you can lecture me on my sometimes very lazy, I cant be bothered with the gym tonight attitude I sometimes have.....so hard going when i have had a bad day at work, I have to force myself and tell myself 'come on, just 15 minutes, if i cant stand it, then I can leave' this is the argument i have with myself at least twice per week, once i am there though I am OK and I have never left after 15 minutes! I read a book called the chimp paradox, and that its my chimp being lazy and not me! So she is affectionately named Lola....Lola is very lazy!

Thank you re the tips, I will try my best to eat in the mornings!!!

Ah, that "I cant be bothered with the gym tonight attitude WE ALL sometimes have!". I used to be a bit of a gym rat, 4-5 times a week but nowadays I've replaced that with other types of physical activity - among other things, salsa, scuba diving and lots of walking with my dog! I now just do the gym twice a week as strength and conditioning is still important in maintaining your overall fitness, but I don't go overboard.

It's the same with my diet as well - i try to get my 5-a-day, couple of portions of fish a week, etc but I still enjoy treats almost every day - in fact, I'm having pizza tonight!. Again, I think the trick is to make small changes and find a diet and exercise routine that you enjoy, you know you can stick to and is consistent with your identity, and don't do things out of a sense of obligation, coercion or guilt - those types of behaviours never stick long-term!!

Lancashirelass1

DrWatson1 wrote: »

It sounds like your shake is pretty healthy, and probably provides as many calories as any other breakfast, so as long as your energy levels are okay and you're not snacking on junk in the afternoon to compensate, I wouldn't worry about it! As I said previously, if you are fit and healthy and your current diet and activity levels work for you, then don't change just for the sake of it. of course, you can always try to make small changes based on sound advice, but if they don't suit you then don't think twice about reverting back to what does work for you and what you enjoy



Ah, that "I cant be bothered with the gym tonight attitude WE ALL sometimes have!". I used to be a bit of a gym rat, 4-5 times a week but nowadays I've replaced that with other types of physical activity - among other things, salsa, scuba diving and lots of walking with my dog! I now just do the gym twice a week as strength and conditioning is still important in maintaining your overall fitness, but I don't go overboard.

It's the same with my diet as well - i try to get my 5-a-day, couple of portions of fish a week, etc but I still enjoy treats almost every day - in fact, I'm having pizza tonight!. Again, I think the trick is to make small changes and find a diet and exercise routine that you enjoy, you know you can stick to and is consistent with your identity, and don't do things out of a sense of obligation, coercion or guilt - those types of behaviours never stick long-term!!

Not guilty when I enjoy my now weekly starbucks (down from nearly everyday) Not guilty when I have a curry with my friend and def not guilty when I eat chocolate!!! I say I am 80/20 and 80% of the time I am very good and of course I do not drink only because I am a light weight and one drink is enough for me but I am mostly OK with food. Oh and I love pizza too, again, not all the time, but I wouldn't say no!!!!
:beer:

Lancashirelass1

bexster1975 wrote: »

Hi Lancashire

Just to say, we are a similar age and I find increasing that I feel nauseous in the am and can't eat. This has actually proved very useful as I've lost a huge amount of weight in the past four years, but I'm with you and it wasn't always the case that I couldn't eat. I have a shake in the am.

As for the exercise, generally I feel like doing it about 30 mins into it.

Bexster

HI Bexster - haha yes, 1975...I have just realised!
Well that is settled it then, if Dr Watson says its OK, then we shall continue with our shakes as 40 something women!!!!!
Doctors orders!