And so id like to be a debt free girl....but....

Raven42

Lots of good advice here.

It might not be for you as it isn't for everyone but I found the only way to get truly out of the debt vortex (0% card after card/consolidation etc.) was to first learn how to save, and secondly completely destroy my credit report.

I can hear the groans as I say it but I had exactly the same as you with one of them big balanced Barclaycards with hideous APR, once I let it default interest was stopped and I was talking to somebody more keen to lose the debt than grow it.

Keep your Capital One card and be sure to set it to "payment in full" each month once you get to that stage.

I only suggest this to somebody who has brought their home and clearly isn't looking to move in the next 8 years and you need to be prepared for the hard yards, like finding the full cost of your phone as SIM only contracts are all that is on offer etc but it worked for me and I'm a couple of years off all those defaults falling off.

Once you realise it isn't your credit report you should be scraping to keep but actually your own money it is enjoyable to build the pots. Just never let them have a current phone number and always answer every letter and respond offering up payments that fit with your new saving circumstances. Stick to your word and I found they bother you far less than those actual companies I was dealing with before and usual settled for less than was owed.

Give it a think, maybe it's against everything you stand for and the general vibe of the group, but it is an option.

Lancashirelass1

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Some positive posts from you and it sounds like you have some great support from your friend and a plan. Shame you can't get any 0% deals but this means you should focus on highest interest credit card first. Cutting them up is a great first step but making sure the balances go no higher is the next so on some you may have to up payments.

Budgeting and knowing where your money goes is the key to good money management so if you stick to the mantra that you don't buy unless withi budget you won't go far wrong.

Two further things I would say about charitable giving and your child maintenance. Giving time instead of money to charities when you are in debt is understandable as it is not your money you are giving until you are debt free. The same applies to your daughters child maintenance. Keeping some money aside for her from the maintenance makes sense but saving the rest whilst you are paying high interest on credit cards doesn't. You are getting debt free for both of you so I would throw all spare money at clearing it.

Also start an emergency fund for unforeseen expenses which can crop up from time to time.

Hello there, thank you,
I 100% and totally agree with you, even more so that she has a nice little nest egg, BUT as part of the deal, the divorce I cant touch it. If I give my word on something to my ex husband then i must keep to it or my word means nothing.
What has been agreed is that I keep the child benefit now and I can set aside some of the money which will be for the next 18 months birthdays and Christmas and I have also taken out for school uniform this month too.
I have taken a grand out basically and put it into my new account, which now has a separate account called set aside money, which in there is a sum of money for my next service and MOT, birthdays and christmas etc.
plus things for uniforms and trips. Going forward sitting down with my ex husband (we are still friends) we just decided that we might struggle when she is older for her to go to UNI and whilst I need a quick fix, in the longer term this money isn't mine. He did discuss this with me and said that I could use some, but if I stick to this, its not going to be long.....
By the time I am 43 I will be debt free, somehow it rhymes and i like the sound of it, but i have got myself into this and i need to get myself out of it and i will, plus I want to...
I dont earn bad money (touch wood) and in the long run IF I do struggle with this, and i really feel a bit of a drag with it all, then I could possibly use it, but my goal and my mission is to do this myself, it is a test for me! I think I just want to do it and really go through it all so it gives me a sense of achievement and appreciate what I have done if that makes sense!
IN terms of my friend I have an office interview with her, and they are all booked in, she has been ringing me and texting me see how its going and she has been impressed, but to keep it all up, she will be expecting monthly figures and up dates, just to check in really and to make sure I am keeping it all up and she will help me with this.
The payments are due this month, all the accounts are good to go!!

thank you
LL

Lancashirelass1

zippygeorgeandben wrote: »

You almost sound like you are enjoying this?!

Do you know I really really am enjoying it.
Basically, I have been so down about it all, living wage to wage, the best thing for me has been putting into action. I have to say my spending diary has been the thing that has impressed me, I have everyone keeping one now......
I have lists coming out of my ears, excel spreadsheets with all this snowball stuff on and bank accounts all set up. Its been hard work but I can finally sit down and just be patient with it all!
Its like I am taking control of it all finally!
I have been feeling very happy since i first logged on here, i had come on here just to get advice on which card to pay off first and it has been amazing at the advice I have had which ha just basically grown from there.
I had already started the hard bit by thinking about it all, this thinking was for a while actually, then the planning came in, then the action kicked in and this is what the result of it has been.....
will keep in touch from month 1!!!!

thank you
LL

Lancashirelass1

bexster1975 wrote: »

Very well done Lancashire! What an awesome amount of work you have done so far! You are forgiven for going AWOL:D

Sadly, of course they don't want debt repaid, car loans completed. How would they make all those bankers bonuses if we paid back what we owe too quickly :eek:

Money left at the end of the week eh! Can't be bad. It's a bit like a food diary. When you have to see it all written down, you are often keen to reduce the ALL somewhat!

You will have this debt thing sorted in no time at all.

Keep posting, and filling in that diary.

Bexster

Hi there,
Its been a very busy time for me, but its now all done and sorted out, i am very lucky i suppose as i think if i had left it any later, I would be further into debt so I have got my dad to thank for this as he has sewn the seed by making me realise about life and enjoying it and I have just taken a while thinking about it and now i have started to take action.
I cant remember who told me to get the diary....but fantastic idea because for myself, I got my statements from May, June, July and worked out exactly what I was spending on these little extra shopping trips, just nipping in for milk etc.
May - 689.00, June a whopping 740.00 and July by week 2 i had already spent 290.00 extra....
so that diary has come in useful already.
I had lunch with a friend today, she too is keeping a diary as she gets paid more than me and she spends tripple and I made us both lunch, low carb, protein, healthy fats and she loved it, she will make lunch for us both next time....usually we would have been out today for our lunch spending easy 40.00...
I have saved money on the starbucks too I am only allowed this on a sunday...IF I have got my shopping done only.
Up to now i have done it.

thank you so much for everything and yes, its all now set up, big day 28th August!!!! i am closer every day to my goal.....
Oh and so I dont mess up this goal my short term goal is taking me to December....I cant think too far ahead of myself yet.....you know like booking holidays, going on cruises (joking) I have this funny feeling that my holidays will also be very careful what i spend too.....I think I am going to quite like keeping the money instead of giving it away!!!!
I have my first office interview with my friend then too....

bexster1975

It all sounds great Lancashire

Help is no problem. You should consider that you could do the same in a few months for free - at least as good as giving money to charity.

Not looking too far ahead is a very good idea. It's easy to be unrealistic then disappointed you can't reach unachieveable goals. Sounds like you have some great rules Starbucks only on a Sunday. If you buy a nice coffee you like and a flask/thermal cup, it can feel like a different sort of treat ( just much cheaper) on the days you don't buy a coffee. Get on the Old Stye thread. A very friendly bunch who will help you with all sorts of things.

All the best, I shall keep reading

Bexster

Lancashirelass1

bexster1975 wrote: »

It all sounds great Lancashire

Help is no problem. You should consider that you could do the same in a few months for free - at least as good as giving money to charity.

Not looking too far ahead is a very good idea. It's easy to be unrealistic then disappointed you can't reach unachieveable goals. Sounds like you have some great rules Starbucks only on a Sunday. If you buy a nice coffee you like and a flask/thermal cup, it can feel like a different sort of treat ( just much cheaper) on the days you don't buy a coffee. Get on the Old Stye thread. A very friendly bunch who will help you with all sorts of things.

All the best, I shall keep reading

Bexster

Hi there
What is the 'old style thread' not sure what this is....you will have to forgive as i am really new to all this, I dont even know if i am supposed to be starting a new thread on this too, as I just keep adding to it!!!!
hahaha you can I am a newbie.....
oh and the coffee i have had a starbucks every day btw, but making it myself I drink the dark roast and grind myself and i now take it black so i am getting my coffee hit in the morning, a bag of it is 3.50 and I am getting two coffees in the morning now, and I am far from finishing the bag, some people may say that i need to stop buying it....but I cant drink any other coffee and for me, if i buy a cheap coffee it will only get wasted so I stick with starbucks and enjoy it and I will just make it myself and so that is my compromise! :rotfl:

bexster1975

Here's a link.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=33

They are amazing ( as are people who only frequent debt free boards too - ahem!).

Now, see I'm with you on this one. Not everyone feels the same. Thing is, if you have to resort to value coffee/ cheaper coffee/instant coffee ( choose level of coffee snobbery as appropriate) then you will feel deprived. That means you won't stick with it. I def think with big debt journeys this has to be the way. I'm not one of the " use both sides of the toilet paper" kinds of gal! :eek:

Each to their own. Great news on the coffee compromise

Bexster

Lancashirelass1

Bexster, totally with you on the coffee and I have to say, sorry guys at my local, I do make a good coffee actually!!!!!
Last night I had a wobble, I have set aside money for birthdays and had to nip into Tesco for a card and flowers, usually I'd stick a 20 note in the card too, but I bought her flowers but I'd got the money out.....but then felt awful for just buying the flowers....I feel mean now.
It's not expected, the money, I just do it, I've sealed the card without the money, I still feel mean, even sleeping on it. The flowers cost 10.00 along with a beautiful card......that was my wobble, I'm sure there will be more in next few months but I've only got so much per person and it's not a special birthday but the person is very special to me.
The complete argument I had with myself last night trying to stop myself from feeling guilty and mean.......my friend has listed all the birthdays and I have 20 for a couple, and then I'm only allowed a fiver for cards each person and one at 40 as its my sisters birthday, it's only last night I realised what this means and now I just feel awful......I shouldn't I know.....anyway, the card is sealed, I haven't gone over the 20 on the budget for this beautiful lady (my grandma) and she will be pleased with the flowers and the words in her card..but there you go, my first wobble....

Lancashirelass1

bexster1975 wrote: »

Here's a link.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=33

They are amazing ( as are people who only frequent debt free boards too - ahem!).

Now, see I'm with you on this one. Not everyone feels the same. Thing is, if you have to resort to value coffee/ cheaper coffee/instant coffee ( choose level of coffee snobbery as appropriate) then you will feel deprived. That means you won't stick with it. I def think with big debt journeys this has to be the way. I'm not one of the " use both sides of the toilet paper" kinds of gal! :eek:

Each to their own. Great news on the coffee compromise

Bexster

I have just clicked on this link, so there are lots of advice on here, about shopping etc, there seems to be a like a group, do I just click on them and join?
I am going to work now, I will have a look tomorrow when I get back on.....as I have said before, I really have never been on here before and joined anything, I have a love of this and now Aldi by the way!!!!!
My wobble is OK now, as I had shared my first wobble, silly of me really, my Grandma loved her flowers and her card...I didn't need to feel guilty after all. LL

bexster1975

Hello! Sorry I " missed" you before work.

The thing with gifts, it's ok to wobble. If the people you are buying fir are special to you, then it's likely you are special to them. I'm sure your grandma doesn't know your financial situation ( unless she's reading along - in that case hello grandma! )

She would surely be devastated to think you out money in her card whilst in a bit of a financial pickle. I would certainly gate girl anyone I cared about yo give me money I don't need when their need is far greater. I'm glad she loved the card and flowers - it could have been worse, you could have blown £700 top up shopping at the same time!!:rotfl:

As for Old Style, yes. Have a read, contribute to a thread, ask questions, even start your own thread if you want ideas about something that seems not to be on there ( God knows what that would be, there are loads of topics). In the main a great bunch of people with lots of knowledge to share. I could name check specific people but there would be dozens and I'd still be leaving loads out.

Get a brew and find half an hour over the weekend for a browse.

Bexster