Why do people feel the need....

Oakdene

Pollycat wrote: »

I didn't realise it involved you, Oakdene.

Be the bigger person.

Sadly it does, I wont bite - I'm just aware that where we live is a small place & sadly people judge, even if what is said is untrue.

Pollycat

Oakdene wrote: »

Sadly it does, I wont bite - I'm just aware that where we live is a small place & sadly people judge, even if what is said is untrue.

I think (and hope) you'll find that the people who don't know either of you very well will just think the person who aired their dirty linen in public is in the wrong.
I'd feel like that in the circumstances. Probably roll my eyes and think 'stupid person'.

Some of your ex's friends will support them regardless of the rights or wrongs of the situation.
Some of your friends may do the same.

I wish you all the best.

Primrose

If I were the tyrannical dictator of a country, the first thing I would do is to totally abolish social media! . It's time wasting and tempts too many poorly disciplined individuals to spend their lives living in a fantasy world instead of facing up to the realities of real life.

gonzo127

lol it really isnt the construct of social media though, when i separated from my wife, i actually had one of her friends come up to me 'bragging' about everything my wife had said about me nastily, in person to her, with 90% being totally fictional and the remaining 10% having minor amounts of fact, but with extreme bending of the facts to make me look horrible.

it is horrible to hear/see what someone can say about you, but for me, it made me realise just how right i had been to end things.

but thats by and by

Pollycat

gonzo127 wrote: »

lol it really isnt the construct of social media though, when i separated from my wife, i actually had one of her friends come up to me 'bragging' about everything my wife had said about me nastily, in person to her, with 90% being totally fictional and the remaining 10% having minor amounts of fact, but with extreme bending of the facts to make me look horrible.

it is horrible to hear/see what someone can say about you, but for me, it made me realise just how right i had been to end things.

but thats by and by

I think social media is different to this ^^^^.

Lots more people can see and read about the 'dirty linen'.

In your circumstances, it would only be the people who actually overheard your wife's friend talking to you who would hear what she was saying.
And it would probably just fade quickly out of those people's memory - if it even registered with them - rather than stay in print forever until someone decided to delete it as it does on social media.

davidwood123

The ones who post how happy they are on the likes of Facebook are actually the one with the least stable relationships.

Top_Girl

I rarely post anything relationship related on FB and second that those who are happy, tend to just get on with being happy, without the need to try and prove it to the world.

My son's dad posted loads of abuse and threatening stuff on FB when we split up, to the point he earned himself a harassment warning (there were texts, emails and doorstep visits too, the posts just helped establish there was a pattern of behaviour rather than a one off rant).

I said nothing. Still don't. I've friends in real life I can rant to if I need to, without the world and his wife knowing and without risking my son hearing/seeing me disparage his father, which I take great care not to allow.

raven83

People that shout the loudest and all that.....

People love to keep up apperances.

Fireflyaway

I made the decision to stay away from social media. I want some privacy. There is always email / phone to send messages and photos to loved ones.
I guess this silly backstabbing and gossip mongering is a way to vent frustration and mainly done by people who are emotionally immature. See a little kid in the playground. If one kid says something mean to another, the other will probably say something mean back without evening thinking. Its a reaction thing based purely on emotions. They hurt me so I'm going to do it back. Some people like the ones you speak of don't
advance beyond that!

Fosterdog

I don't post things like that and neither do most of my friends but OHs ex wife has made up loads of lies about OH and put it all over her Facebook. She likes to play the victim and have everyone feeling sorry for her. We are not her friends on there and have only been shown a few things and told about them by other people but I really don't like the thought of anyone, even strangers, believing OH is the monster she makes him out to be. He is too nice a person and doesn't deserve it. However we rise above it and just get on with our lives. We know it's not true and so do all of the people who really matter to us.


I've known of two people who came off Facebook because they found there was too much drama on there, one is a friend who's OH cheated on her and the girl he cheated with and all of her friends started to effectively bully my adult friend online. The other one is just someone I worked with, she is the sort of person who always argues with people, is always the victim, things are always someone else's fault. Her family are constantly squabbling, it stands to reason her online social circle would be the same.

I'm not the argumentative type, I try not to creat drama and most of my friends are the same so I obviously make friends with like minded people. The few who do seem to get very dramatic have a sharp exit from my life.