Ex husband and maintenance payments

Poppy38

Husband and I split up last year, he'd been having an affair for quite a while and left me a few days before their baby was born. He bought the house that we lived in 16 years ago and I moved in a few months later. The house is in his name only. I have applied for matrimonial rights on the house so he cannot sell. We have 4 children and have been married for 14 years. He was out of work for a few weeks prior to him leaving then decided not to work so he could look after his new baby. A solicitor at citizens advice told me not to pay the mortgage as it's in his name and his liability. Those payments would be classed as spousal maintenance but he disputes this and tells me spousal maintenance does not exist. All other bills I've transferred to my name apart from the insurance as the company said I could not pay this as I'm not on the mortgage. During his time being out of work he has only paid me the odd payment (half towards kids subs or school trip) probably amounting to £150 all year. At no point did I try to get £7 per week from him as he was on benefits. He started a new job last month so has now had 2 lots of wages as of today. I have calculated what he should be paying me (as this is the type of man who goes to great lengths to hide the money he has and rip me off over other things, long story). Anyway, he wants to give me less than half as he's paying the mortgage and insurance which I understand may be acceptable if the house was in joint names and it was in lieu of me paying my part of the mortgage but it's in his name only. We are going through mediation as I want to divorce him and are getting nowhere, only suggestion is that I stay in the house until our 2 year old is 18 and we pay half the mortgage each with the house going into joint names but that doesn't suit him as he will be unable to get another mortgage until then. I work part time and I don't have a lot left over at the end of the month, not being greedy. Can anyone advise on any of these issues? Many thanks.

Poppy38

Oh, the other thing I'd like to add is that I'm not eligible for legal aid as I'm only just over the cutoff for income, as I don't pay any mortgage or childcare as I fit my work around my children, neither of these can be deducted. He is eligible as he started his jobs a few days after his first session and is getting the whole thing for free so is dragging his heels, he's not even filled in any of his paperwork or found out how much his pensions are worth yet, and I don't have the £500 to file for divorce either. Can he be made to help me with these costs?

Gavin83

You can't have your cake an eat it, either you want to live in the house and pay for it or you don't. He won't be expected to pay the mortgage on the property you live in and pay maintenance for his children. You may be able to remain in the property but you'll need to be able to afford the mortgage on your own, can you do this? He'll be expected to pay maintenance for his children but unless he's extremely well paid you won't be getting spousal maintenance. I'd recommend using the CSA calculator to see how much he should be paying and go from there.

Poppy38

He is very well paid. I have used the calculator and as I said he has offered less than half of what he should be paying. I cannot afford to buy him out either.

Gavin83

Poppy38 wrote: »

He is very well paid.

Are we talking 6 figures a year well paid? If not you won't get spousal maintenance.

Poppy38 wrote: »

I have used the calculator and as I said he has offered less than half of what he should be paying. I cannot afford to buy him out either.

In that including or excluding the ongoing mortgage payments?

As I said he won't be liable to pay any of the mortgage while you continue to live in the property. He has a point in regards to not being able to get a mortgage himself, you both need a clean break and you can't expect him to be unable to buy another property for at least 16 years.

You don't necessarily need to be able to buy him out for the moment but you will need to be able to pay the mortgage on your own. If you can't then the likelihood is the property will be sold as part of the divorce and you'll each receive your own share.

Poppy38

Well the mediator said the best scenario is for me to live in the house for the next 16 years with the house to go into joint names and for us to pay half the mortgage each for the remaining 9 years, then for it to be sold or for us to buy one or the other out when the youngest is 18 in 16 years time. I'd have to buy him out if I remarry. So yes they did say he has to pay half still. I don't want to have my cake and eat it, I cannot wait to be free of him, but I didn't ask for any of this, I simply wanted to know if him paying the mortgage on a house that is in his name with me living there with his kids which is his idea, is in lieu of him laying the full, recommended amount from the CMS website until the divorce and finances are sorted out.

Gavin83

Poppy38 wrote: »

I simply wanted to know if him paying the mortgage on a house that is in his name with me living there with his kids which is his idea, is in lieu of him laying the full, recommended amount from the CMS website until the divorce and finances are sorted out.

He won't be expected to pay half the mortgage on the property you live in and also the full maintenance. The maintenance he'll pay towards his children is expected to fund, among other things the mortgage. If he's well paid as you say then the maintenance should be a reasonable sum.

I'm not being mean here, I totally respect you are the victim and you are currently in a horrific situation but I'm trying to be honest as to what he'd be expected to pay. No court will expect him to be able to afford child maintenance to you (think it's around 20% of his net salary for 4 kids) pay half your mortgage, pay his own mortgage/rent and support his new child.

DUTR

Poppy38 wrote: »

Well the mediator said the best scenario is for me to live in the house for the next 16 years with the house to go into joint names and for us to pay half the mortgage each for the remaining 9 years, then for it to be sold or for us to buy one or the other out when the youngest is 18 in 16 years time. I'd have to buy him out if I remarry. So yes they did say he has to pay half still. I don't want to have my cake and eat it, I cannot wait to be free of him, but I didn't ask for any of this, I simply wanted to know if him paying the mortgage on a house that is in his name with me living there with his kids which is his idea, is in lieu of him laying the full, recommended amount from the CMS website until the divorce and finances are sorted out.

The quick answer is yes, the mediator doesn't have the final say.
You can open a CMS case, but don't hope to remain in the house without being able to keep up the mortgage repayments, the emotional side of it, affairs children and stuff don't really come into it, the council will be able to re-home you and the children.

Sambella

You can either go to the CMS and get the calculated amount or you can agree something between you. A family based agreement. This can be whatever you both decide.

It could for example until divorce be an agreement that he pays the mortgage in lieu of child maintenance and then the mortgage will be treated as being paid by you. This may then end up being reflected in the eventual equity share.

Occasionally a court will also go for a set up like this. It all depends on Both incomes and other assets etc

It’s rarely mentioned but under housing rights if your husband absconded or something and stopped paying the mortgage using these rights the mortgage company have to accept any offer of payment from you even if the mortgage isn’t in your name as it is a marital asset.

http://www.irwinmitchell.com/about-us/newsletters/im-on-the-money/im-on-the-money-issue-ten/home-rights-notices-what-is-the-point

mark5

Poppy what's your ex husbands annual salary approximately, does he pay into a pension?

What's your monthly mortgage payment?

You can generally forget about spousal maintenance in 2017, you have a fair chance of keeping the house until the youngest child is out of full time education though if you can afford the mortgage yourself. If there's enough equity in the house for you both to find something smaller this might work against you possibly.

Think carefully if you really want to keep the house with your ex owning a share though, it might seem like a good idea at the moment but your only pushing the problem on another decade. Eventually you will have to sell and give him his share and by then you may struggle to buy a place of your own.

If your ex has a large pension this might be a good way of keeping the house!

bouicca21

Poppy get yourself over to Wikivorce for advice. Also try to find a solicitor who will give you a free half hour.