The Cutting Down / Giving Up Booze Thread (Part 14)

Honey_Bear

Welcome NicNak! :wave: I hope you're still with us.

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

Did think of you in the pub. It was a bit weird but once you've ordered the soft drink it's easier I think. It's the build up and actually being at the bar - and having the bar staff think you are a bit weird,then once it's in your hand you have done it.

Maman's absolutely right about bar staff not thinking people who don't drink alcohol are weird - I've done enough barmaiding in my time to not give a jot what anyone ordered as long as they didn't get leary.

Shouty or punchy people are tedious, other than that most customers don't make that much of an impression when you're working a busy bar if I'm honest. I worked in wine bars and pubs in the UK and a bar in a very isolated Australian outback town, and I saw more than my fair share of fights there - hot, thirsty, tired people drinking too much ice cold beer too fast. Eventually I got so bored with them I used to wade in a break them up, mainly to protect women who were on the receiving end of drunken violence. One guy stripped his wife, left her in knickers and not much else, so I threw him out. Most weren't that stupid and were more than a bit shocked by a 5'3" Pommie bird giving them their marching orders. Drunks don't have particularly good aim, fortunately for me, but when any of us were working the bar on our own we kept a baseball bat within fairly easy reach just in case.

Ironically I didn't use to drink very much in those days!

So, really, what I'm saying is from the behind-the-bar perspective, whoever comes up to it and is polite is way, way ahead of the drunken morons who hang about trying to chat you up when it comes to respect. If you want a softie, go ahead - the staff all know you're not going to shout at them, take a swing at them or throw up over them and that's as good as a customer can get. Say please and thank you and you'd have made my day.

I hope your DH is feeling a lot better, Maman and he got his birthday meal in the end.

Honey_Bear

cathybird wrote: »

I'm even dreaming about this thread now - I had a dream last night that I inadvertently drank some Kahlua at a social occasion and then I was angry because it had been meant to be an AFD and I thought, "Damn, now I'll have to post to say it isn't." Then I woke up and it was all a dream! I was happy about that. I don't even like neat Kahlua!

Good! I've never worried about having to confess after a dream-drink but surely that would mean your subconscious is controlling your non-drinking for you. I've certainly been upset with myself for drinking in a dream though, but mostly just very disappointed in myself.

Gintotmelinda wrote: »

Can I join in please? tonight will be my 3rd af day and I am looking to drink very little until the end of the month. I normally have a drink every evening but I want to stop as it's a habit I've got into. I am aiming to go sober for October.

Any tips for not indulging would be most welcome. I don't like the dark evenings and a drink is nice once I've pulled the curtains.

Hi GinTotMelinda! :wave: Well done on the third day, and I hope you find being here helpful.

If you know what makes you take the first drink, then my suggestion would be to do your best to avoid that situation for a few days. In the early days of stopping completely I knew that if I stayed up after dinner and watched TV with OH the temptation would be too much, so I went to bed really, really early for a few weeks and read a lot, or watched TV on my laptop rather than downstairs where I'd always sipped while watching in the sitting room. Fortuntely I love reading, so it wasn't a hardship and I found it helpful to read books and blogs by women who had given up booze, or were struggling with it.

And the other tip would be to find a non-alcoholic drink that you like. I tried pretty much all of the AF wines and found all of them much too sweet, as is fruit juice. Some people try tonic (especially one of the more expensive ones like F3v3r Tr33) with ice and lemon, tomator juice or mocktails when they go out, but for me it was B3ck's Blu3. I usually have one with dinner and that's enough at home but if I'm out for a meal, a couple will be enough. Fortunately most bars and restaurants stock at least one brand of AF beer nowadays and that makes life much easier.

Good luck with it and keep posting; that works better than anything else.

maman

Lots of good posts today HB.:)


DH is much better (thanks for asking) but we haven't celebrated his birthday yet. He's planning a day out so we're waiting for a good weather day when we're both free.


We have been out today for lunch with friends. I've been angelic!:D I'm out dancing later and as it makes me sleepy and I'll be driving, I stuck to fizzy water.


10 AFDs please Shaggy.


That's target met with LOADS of month left for bonus days.:j

Barny1979

14/25 AFDs today :-)

Wanna_Bee_Free

Wanna_Bee_Free wrote: »

Declaring early for tonight 12/21 for me please Shaggy.

I wasn't AF yesterday after all. Went to the pub and had two BBlues but then got bought real lager by the people buying rounds. I didn't try and argue/explain. I had forgotton how gassy beer is but at least it was weaker than my usual tipples of wine and cider.
I got to twelve tonight instead.

Sleep well everyone.

CuppaTea

15/18 for me please shaggy.

I think for the first time in ages I am going to not only make target but exceed it.

cathybird

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Good! I've never worried about having to confess after a dream-drink but surely that would mean your subconscious is controlling your non-drinking for you. I've certainly been upset with myself for drinking in a dream though, but mostly just very disappointed in myself.

Honey Bear, I hadn't thought about it that way, but you may well be right about the subconscious. It certainly shows that not drinking means something important to me - sometimes dreams are very wild and wacky but they do tend to bring up meaningful issues. Also, I was just so pleased when I woke up and realised it wasn't true.

cathybird

20/21 for me today please.

sukeyboo

maman wrote: »

That's target met with LOADS of month left for bonus days.:j

Congratulations Maman :T

Not declaring early for today - I am hoping for an AF but out with friends for a curry tonight so I don't want to 'count my chickens' - will report back tomorrow

cathybird

Hey yes well done maman!