Buffy Keeps on the Straight and Narrow

Buffythedebtslayer

Quick update.

BIL seems to be refusing food, Sister shattered.

I had a pitiful day at work that brought home many things. I was happier at this school and felt quite in control and ok but as dear old Ofsted looms (two years mind!) that is lessening, the strain of the new GCSEs and the generally lack of decent teachers plus ludicrous expectations (which on their own, tho mental and silly are doable) and pointless training that makes you want to weep in frustration.

And I do mean pitiful. I feel dreadful for new teachers. It is a mess.

I must consider my pension. And that Mum is depressed and I am depressed.

today plus BIL not doing well. It has wiped me out.

Still got books to mark though. hmm

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear about BIL. Hope he feels up to eating again soon.

I think most public sector jobs are in a mess at the moment. Too much red tape, lack of funds and pointless training. However, education should be a priority, it's not good

Buffythedebtslayer

Brother in law back on oxygen, spent most the day asleep, sister spoke to him for a few minutes. the rest of the time he was asleep. This is not good. I think obviously he is hugely depressed and his coping mechanism is sleep? I know that sounds trite. I don't even know what I mean, the pain and loss for him and my sister is immense.

Work is being squeezed out by the bil situation which is as it should be but it has made me realise I only make time for a crisis. My life should be as important. And it is not. And even going all out for the job is not enough.

So what is the bloody point?

answer - there isn't one.

So plan.

I will stay for the next 8 months, so I can see the yr11 through and be paid over the summer.

Meanwhile, finish the decluttering.

1. Conservatory
2. Shed
3. Shed
4. Shed
5. Spare room
6. Loft
7. Sell items
8. Finish garden
9. Help Mum with kitchen and her room.

And

check PPI.
Sort out tax.
get back to tutoring.
Save.

Future plans
Investigate dog walking, part time LSA and part time Supply. I want a patch work income ideally. I will probably work full time till Christmas 2018 and from there aim to patchwork it.

One of my dearest friends who I have lost really due to my job has been SO brave over the last few years and it has really paid off for her, new baby (a miracle given her age) and a new man (also a miracle!) and gave up teaching.

Plus another dear friend who had the most amazing holiday this year.
Out is the way through

I want to clear the bottom of the stairs (my bit of decluttering tonight. )

XXX

NoOneAround

Buffy,
Just seen your new thread and had a very quick read.
I am so very sorry that you and your family are going through such a hard time.
Nothing much to say that can make it any better for you so just sending love and hugs.
NOA
x

in_need_of_direction

glad you have a plan. in the short term though can you carve out some time for you each month? please?

Midgetgem82

Hi Buffy
Just read through your diary and wanted to send big hugs to you and your family.
I do agree with the above post and think you do need to take time out for yourself, even if it is just once a month for your own personal wellbeing x

Buffythedebtslayer

Thanks everyone XXX So I tried to declutter the bottom of the stairs but the dog had an upset tummy and threw up and vomited in the conservatory. It must have been there a while as it was well soaked into the rug

After that my week got sort of worse and sort of better. BIL refused more treatment - I mean he isn't saying no as such but is asleep and has shouted at the nurses a few times. One nurse commented he has gone down hill since he came to that hospital. but they are keen to help, trying lots of things.....


but work has been better.

i made popcorn so will finish this later xxx

Sun_Addict

Glad work is better BIL doesn't know what he's doing at the moment, he can be excused as he's so poorly.

Hope this weekend is a better one for you xx

Buffythedebtslayer

I went out last night and had a really good time which was great but have woken up today feeling guess what? ILL.

horrible horrible HORRIBLE stomachache.

I am assuming it is was hotdog. Street food doesn't agree with me. Clearly! But on the other hand I feel rotten any way if that makes sense. Couldn't ring my doctors last week too busy at work. What do you guys think of me going with a list? I get too embarrassed to tell the doctor everything.

Have to get my sister in a bit so I am watching a bad Vince Vaughan movie till then.

Mum is stressed out and reverting to treating me like a child - told me off for opening a packet of biscuits this morning. So that was fun.

It really is a bad film.

XXX

beanielou

Make a double appointment for GP.
Take list xxx