Third-Life Crisis

Storm89

Hi I've just read your whole diary and wanted to say well done for coming back and congratulations on the soon to be new arrival ! Do you know what you're having ? It's so exciting having a new baby I am always broody although sure we are done for a variety of reasons.
TOPM is right about clubs etc the cost of having kids soon adds up. I like what you said about your kids missing out because of your mistakes and how motivating that is. That's EXACTLY how we feel right now and are doing this for the kids , we do have a lot less to pay off but it's still the same principal. I wish you every success in getting your head round a plan & the debt starting to go down more.

Honeysucklelou2

Congratulations! Exciting times!

With regards to an emergency fund, have you considered opening a NS&I savings account? My emergency fund is in a saver account with them. I can set up a standing order to pay monies in but withdrawing money usually takes a week as it is done via a form that is posted, then the money is paid to a bank account. I find it helpful as each time the money is needed, it is a considered action, not done on a whim.

Re clubs...children's clubs have been around for years. Children don't need to go to lots of clubs. I see children through work, who are quite frankly exhausted, from a day at school and then being ferried from one club to another. I did it myself until I realised that hurtling round to get my children from swimming to horse riding to brownies on one particular evening was causing me to dread certain days of the week and the cost was adding to my debt levels. Now my children know they can have one club option to go to, so it is a considered choice and within my budget.

If you can get childcare through grandparents, that's great. Paying for nursery childcare is expensive and took me by surprise with my youngest.

Good luck with the debt busting.

Magpie100

'If you can get childcare through grandparents, that's great. Paying for nursery childcare is expensive and took me by surprise with my youngest.'

Just to pick up on this point - you mention grandparents being 'more than happy' to help with childcare. I'm sure it seems a long way off given the baby isn't even here yet, but in the medium term you do need to think carefully about childcare. I agree that babies can be as expensive or cheap as you make them, but the cost of childcare is one of those things that can tip people over the financial edge. It might be a good idea to speak with the grandparents over the next few months to work out what is actually realistic and what is not. There is a big difference between grandparents doing a set number of days a week as opposed to 'just' filling in in emergencies/doing wraparound care.

Re starting an emergency fund: can you start it off out of your £300 extra a month? You aren't going on mat leave for a few months yet so you get a cushion of say £1000 sorted. That is then only for emergencies and hopefully most of it will be left by the time you come to think about childcare. Will you be able to add that £300 every month while on mat leave?

I hope the chat with your OH went well. You definitely need to be working together on this one. And cancel those appliance and bin cleans NOW! :rotfl:

Goingroundincircles

Thanks for all your latest comments

Storm89 - no, we're leaving it as a surprise!! Good luck with your debt busting too.

Honeysucklelou2 - that's a brilliant idea, thank you for the tip. At the moment it's with the same bank as our bills account and so easy to access via mobile banking!

Magpie100 - I'll be able to put aside £300 from Mar 17 - Jan 18, after that I'll be on SMP so we'll be using the money saved to get our budget income back up to my usual earnings (before pay rise). I like the idea that this could be the start of our emergency fund and if we have to use it then I'll just have to go back to work earlier! Perhaps more of an incentive not to touch it!! Once I do go back that £300 will go towards childcare each month.

Goingroundincircles

So, things to do to get the ball rolling:

TODAY
1. Jiggle budget to include money for emergency fund, presents, heath, car maintenance and spending(?)
2. Bake muffins to use up sad looking bananas
3. OH's invoices

THIS WEEK:
1. Cancel bin, window and appliance cleaning!!!
2. Phone to Sky to haggle/cancel
3. Sell or donate the pile of unwanted things in spare room

Have done the food shopping this morning and managed to spend only £31.13. I don't think a food shop has cost us so little since 2009. Made sure I went through the cupboards, wrote a list and stuck to it.
I have also completed a couple of surveys on prolific, which I had abandoned over the last couple of moths after doing so well with it during the summer. Made £3.85 (every little helps).
And I have transferred money which was sitting in my topcashback account.

Magpie100

Well done! I like your plan of action - that is what you need. It will help you feel more in control of things, I'm sure. Be ruthless in selling, sorting, donating, cancelling standing orders, etc. All of these little wins will add up.

I assume you mean you can save £300 a month from Mar 18-Jan 19? I really think aiming for an initial emergency fund of £1000 from this should be your priority. And yes - if you need any further incentives, be able to extend your maternity leave should be one! Are you planning to go back to work full time? It's probably too soon for you to decide...

Your future children will be affected by this debt if you don't start to change things now. Every pound you can save and pound you don't spend will help your family in the future.

Goingroundincircles

Magpie - Oh dear! Brain really isn't in gear at the moment! Yes I meant 18-19. I don't think I'l have any choice but to go back to work full time. Unless I stumble across £60000 in the next 18 months (fingers crossed).

Goingroundincircles

Feeling quite positive today. Had a really good chat with the husband at the weekend and went through all of the spreadsheets. Together we agreed on what we could go without and which things we would try to haggle down. Apparently he has recently had a call from vodafone saying we can now downgrade/go sim only which is good news. We also decided not to put any spending money in the budget going forward but instead to see what extra money we could raise each month and split this between debt/spending the following month.

I've managed to make Feb's budget balance even though we were so low on income this month. It's mostly down to lots of bits of money I'd forgotten about such as some prescription refunds, work expenses and cash back. Now we just have to stick to it.

We've booked ourselves a lovely three course valentines meal at Jamie's Italian. Which won't cost us a penny thanks to a buyagift voucher from Christmas 2016 we've finally cashed in.

And I've earnt £20 on prolific since Sunday.

TODAY
1. Jiggle budget to include money for emergency fund, presents, heath, car maintenance and spending(?)
2. Bake muffins to use up sad looking bananas
3. OH's invoices

THIS WEEK:
1. Cancel bin, window and appliance cleaning!!!
2. Phone to Sky & Vodafone to haggle/cancel
3. Sell or donate the pile of unwanted things in spare room

Goingroundincircles

Phoned Sky this morning, we're actually still in contract. They did something sneaky last year and changed it from 12 to 18 months. Was able to cancel sky cinema though so saving £9 a month.

Also phoned Vodafone. Apparently their outgoing calls team and different to their incoming calls team and as this was an early upgrade offered by the outgoing team only they can organise it?! Basically meaning we have to wait until they call us again. Very odd. Anyone come across this?

THIS WEEK:
1. Cancel bin, window and appliance cleaning!!!
2. Phone to Sky & Vodafone to haggle/cancel
3. Sell or donate the pile of unwanted things in spare room
4. Work out how to pay for two upcoming hen weekends
5. Two bank switches
6. Under budget food shop

Goingroundincircles

Husband phoned Vodafone and managed reduce the monthly payments by £12 a month until the contract ends in May. We'll then look into SIMO although his phone is actually broken and he could really do with a new one.

Had a letter saying our rent was going up by £40 so that means back to drawing board with the budget

I've spent all morning staring at our debt excel sheet. We really need to reduce our monthly outgoings - ideally by £100-£200. I just can't work out how to do it. We're both eligible for 0% balance transfers for 6 months. If we could both get one and clear £3,000 each there would be a £180 fee but I reckon we would be saving over £100 in interest. So is it worth doing? There is a horrendous 35% apr so we'd have to hope we were eligible for something else again in 6 months.
I'm just really reluctant to go down the DMP route. We got ourselves into this mess on our own and I'd like us to get ourselves out of it on our own. I worry about the negative impact on our credit rating (which are both currently towards the top end of fair) and what would happen when our fixed rate mortgage ends in January. I accept it's going to be really hard, especially at first, but I just worry our budget is very fragile at the moment and one more increase in interest or bills would make it impossible to jiggle anymore.

Feeling deflated today.

THIS WEEK:
1. Sell or donate the pile of unwanted things in spare room - STILL TO DO
2. Work out how to pay for two upcoming hen weekends - WILL HAVE TO BE A MIX OF CASHBACK, SURVEYS, BANK SWITCHES AND SELLING THINGS
3. Two bank switches - DONE ONE, STARTED THE OTHER
4. Under budget food shop - DONE