Money Moral Dilemma: Should I agree to pay my mum more rent?

TheFaqqer

MSE_Sarah wrote: »

Is she being unreasonable for bumping up the rent money or am I being tight?

Have a look at what it will cost to rent somewhere else - if the £200 is above market rent then you should explain that to her to show why it's too much.

Though even if she is charging market rate, how does that encourage you to be able to save to finally get out of the house?

I would have a look at what it will cost to live elsewhere and aim to spend that - if it's cheaper to move out, move out. If it's not then pay your mum what she's asking and save the difference in a dedicated account so that you can start building a deposit.

Maybe this is her way of saying "time to move on, little one"

Tallulah_Kitten

Yes, you should. Sit down and talk to her to understand her point of view. I always paid my Mum a third of my take home pay. There was no way I could have afforded to live on my own on that amount as it included all meals, cleaning, laundry, etc. It also included my delightful Mum's company and her help in doing my hair when I was going out. She's not trying to make money out of you, but it's only morally right that you help out with the expenses of running a house.

stmartinsdiver

Perhaps your mum is dropping you a gentle hint that you've been taking advantage at £100 a month. Even at £200 it sounds like a bargain. Have you even thought about what it would it's actually been costing your mum? Whichever way you look at it she's been subsidising you and might be feeling there's little evidence of gratitude.
Smile, pay up and say 'thankyou.'

Pmarmalade

It's a purely personal thing, depending on the circumstances of both sides and your relationship.

It's really difficult to comment without stats on the location and how much you earn. If you're on over, say, £20k and living outside of London, then yes, I'd say you absolutely should be paying more. I'd think you should have offered more before now, frankly, out of fairness and wanting to be independent and pay your own way in life.

If you're on minimum wage or a student working P/T and your Mum is in a very comfortable position, then it's maybe something to discuss. The fact you used the word 'salary', though, would suggest that's not the case.

Technosaurus

£200 a month is a fair price. If you can get better or cheaper elsewhere, the other option is to move out...

I'm enjoying the various offshoots here so will chip mine in. My brother and I both went to private schools so were not exactly on the breadline, but we weren't by any stretch wealthy. When I turned 16, my Mum said "you're old enough to earn for yourself now, you need to get to the JobCentre and pay your way"

After the usual teenage strop, I did exactly that and ended up with an evening job that worked around my A-levels. She never took a penny off me in rent but said she wanted me to learn about earning money. I moved out to university at 17 and always worked to pay my way, then got a graduate job in another city so never had to live at home when earning 'proper' money.

My younger brother never got the same chat from my Mum for some reason and (Mum and Dad have now passed away) he still struggles with the concepts of the value of money. When they died he had never so much as paid a council tax bill and didn't realise a) how much it cost and b) that there was no hiding from it.

Even if you take the 'keep' and put it in a savings account - which I think is a lovely idea that I would hope to do if I ever have kids - it's the basic concept that simply existing costs money which is important.

gaving7095

LOL what are you going to do if everybody here tells you you're in the right? "Hey Mum all these people on the internet say you're wrong" XD
Another question: are you going to find somewhere else to live for £100 a month?
Pay the £200 & be thankful it's that cheap. Welcome to life, buddy :-D

silvercar

gloriouslyhappy wrote: »

Why is it shocking that parents of grown-up children want to spend their money indulging themselves? Having worked all their lives, provided for their families, raised their children and now with the end not that far off, this is definitely the time for a little self-indulgence before the grandchildren come along and a whole new set of responsibilities begin! Being a parent doesn't stop you from being a person in your own right, and as long as your children are earning and staying in the parental home, they should pay their fair share, and whatever the parents choose to spend it on is surely their own business.

Some families just don't want to profit out of their children.

To those saying it is to prepare the offspring for adult life, maybe the parents need to prepare for when they won't have income from their children living at home.

I think knowing that there is always room for my adult children to come home actually makes them more likely to spread their wings, knowing they have that security.

Mojisola

silvercar wrote: »

Some families just don't want to profit out of their children.

And adult working children shouldn't want to live off their parents' income.

They should be expecting to pay at least all the extra costs caused by them being at home and to do an equal share of the household chores.

sherri01

Since all 3 of my children left home 2 of them have returned at different times (1 with her 2 children). I have always applied the same formula for calculating board. Basically regardless of earnings I total all of the expenses for the year, divide it by the number of adults and then calculate the monthly cost. I have never included my mortgage payments because if I decide to sell it is up to me how I will spend any profit. This encouraged my youngest to return to college and he is now at university. All of my children think its fair and it has taught them how to manage money

Sarahlillysv

I pay my mum £400 per month for all bills, food and etc. I am very happy to do this as she has paid my way for a long time and my dad is no longer at work. If you think of gas, electric, internet etc it all adds up. It depends what you earn - I used to pay less but now I earn about £1200 per month. I'd pay more in bills if I lived alone.