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Care Home fees - protecting parent's savings

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  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 22,801 Forumite
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    xylophone wrote: »
    See post 1 in which OP says

    Apologies I missed that bit.
  • Leothecat
    Leothecat Posts: 1,492 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    xylophone wrote: »



    Thank you for this. I shall look into it.


    What I have learned from this experience is that it is all about money. Remember these are businesses.


    A lot of the care homes we visited were horrendous. The residents seemed neglected, sedated and badly looked after. Some of the staff we encountered were clearly in the wrong job, ignoring service users, sitting around on their phones or chatting when people clearly needed assistance. The fact that we were visiting with a view to placing our father in some of these places didn't seem to bother them at all! I have to say I was pretty shocked at times.


    OP.....please don't underestimate how awful some of these places can be. It's a very sad state of affairs.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,574 Forumite
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    Leothecat wrote: »
    A lot of the care homes we visited were horrendous. The residents seemed neglected, sedated and badly looked after. Some of the staff we encountered were clearly in the wrong job, ignoring service users, sitting around on their phones or chatting when people clearly needed assistance. The fact that we were visiting with a view to placing our father in some of these places didn't seem to bother them at all! I have to say I was pretty shocked at times.

    We only found one was this bad - and that was the one that accepted residents at the council funded level. All the other homes would have required top-up payments from the family.

    I don't know what we would have done if Dad hadn't had a house to sell to pay for his care - there's no way I could have left him in such an awful place. :(

    What was worrying was that some of the most expensive homes also weren't offering good care - the decor was good, the furniture very expensive and the chef was cordon bleu trained but the face-to-face care was awful.
  • Leothecat
    Leothecat Posts: 1,492 Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    I don't know what we would have done if Dad hadn't had a house to sell to pay for his care - there's no way I could have left him in such an awful place. :(

    What was worrying was that some of the most expensive homes also weren't offering good care - the decor was good, the furniture very expensive and the chef was cordon bleu trained but the face-to-face care was awful.



    Totally agree with all of the above. Also, I feel terrible for those poor people who don't have families or friends looking out for them. My father has a constant stream of people visiting and in fact the daughter of an old friend of his works at the home.
    The staff have actually commented on the amount of visitors he gets. Helps me sleep in my bed at night and keeps the staff on their toes (at least that's what I tell myself!)


    I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's terribly distressing and the guilt I feel at having to place my dad in a home is immense.
    To know that he is safe and well looked after helps somewhat.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,574 Forumite
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    Leothecat wrote: »
    Also, I feel terrible for those poor people who don't have families or friends looking out for them. My father has a constant stream of people visiting and in fact the daughter of an old friend of his works at the home.

    The staff have actually commented on the amount of visitors he gets. Helps me sleep in my bed at night and keeps the staff on their toes (at least that's what I tell myself!)

    We were also able to visit a lot. Unless we had something personal to discuss, we always met up with Dad in the lounge and consequently got to know the other residents (and they had the benefit of 'visitors' as well).

    One of the long term residents had a visit from a relative for about an hour on Christmas Day - that was it, all year. :(

    It was actually very hard to stop visiting after Dad died but I had a bad spell with my health and couldn't keep up the visits.
  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,531 Forumite
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    Out of interest- what needs are considered medical for NHS paying for care ?
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 22,801 Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    We only found one was this bad - and that was the one that accepted residents at the council funded level. All the other homes would have required top-up payments from the family.

    I don't know what we would have done if Dad hadn't had a house to sell to pay for his care - there's no way I could have left him in such an awful place. :(

    What was worrying was that some of the most expensive homes also weren't offering good care - the decor was good, the furniture very expensive and the chef was cordon bleu trained but the face-to-face care was awful.

    Certainly if like my mother you are not self funding, your choices will be minimal. She is in a rather old fashion home with small non onsuit bedrooms. However the place is clean, the staff are kind and caring and she is far happier than she was at home, so she is one of the lucky ones.

    If either of us ever needs care we will be self funding and are more than happy to stay that way, so there is absolutely no way we will be trying to avoid those costs.
  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 22,801 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Mojisola wrote: »
    We were also able to visit a lot. Unless we had something personal to discuss, we always met up with Dad in the lounge and consequently got to know the other residents (and they had the benefit of 'visitors' as well).

    One of the long term residents had a visit from a relative for about an hour on Christmas Day - that was it, all year. :(

    It was actually very hard to stop visiting after Dad died but I had a bad spell with my health and couldn't keep up the visits.

    It's the same with my mum, she likes to spend most of her day in the lounge, as she prefers the company she has there. This means we have lots of contact with the other residence, and there are two old ladies I have become particularly fond of. If anything happens to mum I really must try and make the effort to visit as they never seem to have visitors of their own.
  • teddysmum
    teddysmum Posts: 9,533 Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »


    Even if Mum lives long enough to use all her savings, she will still leave £23,250 to divide between the three of you.



    Is this correct ? I assumed that only the £14250 was what you were allowed to keep, as ,at just under £23250, you would get very little help, so would continue self funding (at a shrinking rate) until fully supported when down to £14250.
  • woody_56
    woody_56 Posts: 167 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    Hi my Sister and i are in a similar situation.Dads 91.
    You must get power of attorney on your mum.
    You must get your mum to make a will.
    If you have not already done this.
    You then have control of any situation that may arise with her health..
    Do this why she is well and in control.
    We have done Dads recently ourselves.

    Local Authority's can be really forthright in their proposals.
    Don't stand any nonsense if Mum has to go in a residential home.

    Have your Mum will the property to yourself and siblings?
    And never mind that lark about selling the property they come up with.
    RENT the property to pay towards her care.
    That with any pensions she may have and the Local Authority's contribution should be adequate .
    The property is there then to sell at a latter date.
    The cash element of her saving's should be reduced.
    Regards Jim
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