friend getting married - what happens if the worse were to occur?

Malthusian

cashbackproblems wrote: »

Why does hiding YOUR money mostly pre-marriage when the contract isnt thhere, seen as wrong and not insurance, you can still have a happy marriage

It's not your money if you get married (unless it's over very quickly). If you insist on it staying your money, you don't get married. It's really not that complicated.

A happy marriage with someone who is paranoid and money-grubbing enough to conceal assets from their spouse years in advance of even meeting them? Who doesn't want to get any enjoyment out of their money if it means their wife gets enjoyment as well? (They have to keep the money hidden and can't spend either the capital or income during the marriage to any significant extent, as doing so would reveal its existence.) Yeah right. Sounds like The Waltons.

If you go into marriage certain that it will end acrimoniously and your wife will try to clean you out then you will be correct.

ChesterDog

Marriage is about each partner putting the other's wellbeing, wishes, happiness and security above their own.

Gadfium

cashbackproblems wrote: »

Why does hiding YOUR money mostly pre-marriage when the contract isnt thhere, seen as wrong and not insurance, you can still have a happy marriage

Why?
Because it involves deceitfulness and possibly lying. Also, if the marriage ends up in the divorce courts it could involve perjury if you lie about your assets.

I'm not taking a moral stance on this- it's your life to lead. But I would say that responsibilities and rights of marriage probably aren't for someone who would want to take that tack. Co-habiting would be a lower risk.

atush

Well said.

Concealing assets only means your dont love the person enough to marry them.

So, just dont marry. Or even better, break up so that you can continue to sow your wild oats and they can find someone who actually loves them enough to marry.

eastcott5

Surely this is more than about getting married, it is also about attitude to money. Why does he have more then her? How old is he, has he been saving carefully for years in ISAs etc. is she a lot younger - earning less - or does she fritter away her wages - posher car, weekend away with the girls.
As already pointed out - some women want it all and more - but not all of them.Who is paying for the wedding?.

He could keep some of his in an ISA and buy a lesser house.

Malthusian

Makes no difference whether he buys a house worth £250k or puts £20k in an ISA and buys a house worth £230k. If the marriage lasts for any length of time then it's all assets of the marriage and the starting point for the split (before we consider kids etc) will be £125k each. If it's a very short marriage then he will keep the £250k he brought in.

parking_question_chap

If it looks like its going down the pooper sell the invesments, buy gold and hide it. Then just claim he went to Vegas and lost it all.

atush

Perjury anyone?

Why does he have more then her? How old is he, has he been saving carefully for years in ISAs etc. is she a lot younger - earning less - or does she fritter away her wages - posher car, weekend away with the girls.

sexism anyone? Could be her earning more, her older and him with the poncy car?

hels234

Hi, I haven't read all the responses but can tell you what me and my now husband have done. Prior to marriage we bought a house together. I had no money and debts at the time and he was providing all of the deposit. I signed a deed of trust which was drawn up by a solicitor and noted with land registry. It basically stated that his deposit would go back to him if we split and any future profit would be split equally (we were paying equal shares of the mortgage at the time). This has had to be re done every time we've remortgaged. We are now married, I have no debts and because I am now the main earner and saver we split bills on a % rather than 50/50. We also have a child. I think now we are married, courts will look slightly differently on the deed of trust as they look to take care of dependents but neither of us are concerned, I still don't see his money that he had for the deposit as "ours" (he'd been given it by family) and would not expect any of it as part of a divorce settlement if the worst happened. I just think your friend needs to be open and talk to their partner. I had no problem signing the deed when it was suggested.

greenglide

we split bills on a % rather than 50/50

Call me old fashioned but the idea of "mine" and "yours" and splitting of bills in a marriage seems very odd.

We have always had a joint account and all income goes into that and all bills paid from it. There are additional current accounts now in separate names now but only to earn interest.

The word is changing and often not for the better.