Desperate. No Money. Big Problems.

John_In_Lincs

My life has gone from bad to worse this year. I've lost my wife and my businesses. I am now in receipt of ESA and I can't afford the bills, let alone to eat.

Like many people, I am now faced with the dilemma of needing to make money, somehow and quickly.

I've looked into dropshipping (not worth it). I have no money to start with though. I will soon lose my car as I cannot afford to keep running it. This will drop me into even more debt.

My wife left me with two lovely dogs as she was not able to take them with her, though they are not in the best of health now. I was hoping she would have taken but, to be honest, I am glad she hasn't. They are so loving and great company. Problem is, I cannot afford to look after them.

I am simply looking for suggestions. I am desperate. I cannot think straight at the moment as my anxiety and loneliness are getting the better of me. I have very few friends here as I am quite new to the area. I also have a few mental health issues and I am supposed to be taking medication, which does not help and actually makes me worse, so I don't bother.

I am just praying that somebody has a simple suggestion or two where I might be able to make a few extra £s to keep us going.

Please would somebody let me know if this is the wrong forum for this post and I will re-post elsewhere.

Thanks.

IAmWales

Some medications will make you feel worse in the short term. If you're past that or the side effects are intolerable then contact your GP.

Are you eligible for help with housing costs, do you rent or have a mortgage? Also council tax support should be claimed if not already.

If you complete a statement of your incomings and outgoings we can help you make cut backs.

pmlindyloo

John_In_Lincs wrote: »

My life has gone from bad to worse this year. I've lost my wife and my businesses. I am now in receipt of ESA and I can't afford the bills, let alone to eat.

Like many people, I am now faced with the dilemma of needing to make money, somehow and quickly.

I've looked into dropshipping (not worth it). I have no money to start with though. I will soon lose my car as I cannot afford to keep running it. This will drop me into even more debt.

My wife left me with two lovely dogs as she was not able to take them with her, though they are not in the best of health now. I was hoping she would have taken but, to be honest, I am glad she hasn't. They are so loving and great company. Problem is, I cannot afford to look after them.

I am simply looking for suggestions. I am desperate. I cannot think straight at the moment as my anxiety and loneliness are getting the better of me. I have very few friends here as I am quite new to the area. I also have a few mental health issues and I am supposed to be taking medication, which does not help and actually makes me worse, so I don't bother.

I am just praying that somebody has a simple suggestion or two where I might be able to make a few extra £s to keep us going.

Please would somebody let me know if this is the wrong forum for this post and I will re-post elsewhere.

Thanks.

Did your working tax credits claim come through?

So, you are receiving Housing Benefit, Council tax reduction and the assessment rate of ESA?

Did you know that you can do Permitted Work whilst on ESA? You would need permission to do this. You can work up to 16 hrs a week and earn no more than £115.50 a week.

Permitted Work does not affect your ESA, HB or CTR. It was set up to allow people to 'dip their toes' into work whilst still receiving the back up of other benefits.

http://www.entitledto.co.uk/help/Permitted-Work-Rules

If you told us what skills you have and what work you think you might be able to do with your disabilities then people may have some suggestions for you.

Please go back to your doctor for help with your medication.

You could also post on the Debtfree Wannabe forum(not just for those with debts) for some ideas how to cut down your expenditure. They are brilliant at checking that you are getting the best deals for everything. Also have a good read of all of Martin Lewis'articles on this site about reducing utility bills etc

Finally, have you looked at the criteria for PIP (Personal Independence Payment) to see if you would qualify? This is a non means benefit to help with care and mobility needs.

comeandgo

You mentioned you are praying for help, is that just a figure of speech or are you a religious person, find a church of your denomination where hopefully they can help in friendship and food.
Is there a PDSA, I think that's the correct letters, it's a pets charity to help people who are having financial difficulties with their pets.
Would you have the confidence to knock on doors with unkempt gardens and explain that you are trying to make some extra money and if they have a lawnmower you would cut their grass for £5 or whatever amount you agree to. Ah I have just reread your post and not sure if you are able to do manual work.
Can you iron well? You may be able to put cards in windows offering your ironing skills. How educated are you? Could you tutor anyone? Can you play an instrument, could you busk?
Could you buy cheap good quality items from charity shops and sell them on eBay?
In regards of the drugs you are on, go back to doctor to explain why you are not taking them. I am on antidepressants and they took 6 weeks to make any difference and I had some weird side effects until the right dose was found.

John_In_Lincs

Thanks IAmWales and pmlindyloo.

I am not taking the medication at the moment (Venlafaxine) as it knocks me out and I cannot function.

I had a severe reaction to Citalopram a few weeks ago. I have never felt suicidal before but my mood swing one evening was intolerable. I phoned 111 and was told to come off them immediately as I was probably experiencing a common side effect. It took me three days to snap out of it, but I did. I am now terrified to take anything else. Medicines scare me.

I will be starting to receive ESA from next week. It's £73 per week and won't even cover the bills, as I say. I am in receipt of food parcels for now. I also have an appointment with a Christian debt help organisation next week.

I phoned about my Working Tax Credit application yesterday. This is one of those "Mandatory Reconsideration" things. I forgot to send my forms by registered post, as I was told to do. (My memory is just non-existent lately.) Here's the predictable news on that ..... After spending a couple of hours on the phone to them and being given various numbers to call, some of which were private direct office numbers, I discovered that my MR claim had been stamped as 'received' at the first stage, then had been lost! I was instructed to phone the main number and demand a "Missing Post Referral" as my documents obviously contained a lot of personal data. So I am no further on with that one.

I have applied for extra help with rent and council tax as I understand it may be possible to have this paid 100% for now, but I have heard nothing in two weeks. I will chase this up on Monday.

I didn't know about permitted work, but what would that be? My depression is such that I can't even bear to go outside at the moment. I haven't eaten anything for two days as I am so churned up inside. Thanks for the link - I will read this now.

The businesses I ran involved selling online, so I could work from home. That was a huge help. They involved selling on an established platform where small craft-related businesses could sell their wares. My wife used to do the craft side, while I did the customer service and graphic design. We tried to keep the businesses going after splitting, but she had a lot of technical problems which she was unable to resolve. The businesses are now 'in the red'. This has resulted in accounts there being sent to collections, as has my bank account and my Ebay account. I doubt I could open up another Ebay account, but they are not who I would choose anyway. They would just be useful for selling a few things online to make some spare cash. There's nothing much I have to sell anyway though.

Yes, I often read through the posts on this forum. I have read the tips on how to cut down on expenses, but I think I am doing all I can at the moment. The car may have to go, as I've said, but this is almost an essential thing to buy stock, should I be able to start up something else. It's only an old runaround. The insurance cost more than the car! I cycle most places these days, but this couldn't replace the car.

Next thing I may lose is the internet and phone. These are two other essentials for me. I would hate to lose these completely as they are my way of keeping in touch.

As for PIP, I wouldn't imagine that I qualify, would I? I would dread having to go through all those hurdles along the way. As it is, many things fill me with dread. I just don't have many friends locally as I haven't been in the area that long. If I could only pluck up the courage to get myself out and about a bit more I would try to start up some kind of local group for people in my situation, but I am not the right person to do that, especially right now, but I crave company. I wouldn't have the appropriate skills for this either, but it's something I would love to do.

As you can see, there are several issues going on here and I am finding everything just too much to bear at the moment.

Oh - my skills. Well, I am somewhat 'crafty' and could probably 'make' something to sell, though I can't think what, for the life of me. I would need a supply of stock and probably the car so I could drive to get that stock.

I have worked extensively in video and audio production in the past, but I haven't considered doing anything in this line as I know how hard it was to get into it in the first place. These days, everybody and their dog can do elaborate presentations using free software.

Not sure what else. Packaging goods from home? Do people still do that? I considered cleaning, but the problem once again is getting myself out there in the first place. I can probably do many things, but I have no self-confidence. My motivations is at rock bottom at the moment.

Sorry for the essay.

John_In_Lincs

Hello comeandgo. Out posts crossed.

No, I am not a religious person. I do go to a local religious group sometimes, but that's more or less just for company. I am not religious as such.

My home town is so small and nothing much happens here, so I feel quite isolated.

Some nice suggestions there - thank you. You remind me that I ought to keep a lookout in local shop windows, etc. and see if anybody is asking for somebody to do odd jobs. It would help feed the dogs, etc. They will be fed before me, by the way. Such lovely creatures and definitely my best friends.

There is a vets a few miles away which I think have a PDSA service. I'm sure it's just for one dog though. I have two.

I am not much of a gardener. I have a few gardening tools though and I could probably put them to good use somehow. Interesting suggestions. Maybe looking around on groups on Facebook will reveal something like this.

Thanks again.

pmlindyloo

I do think your priority is to get your anxiety and depression under control. This will mean you have to be open with your doctor and ask for more help.

Do you manage to take your dogs for a walk? I do hope so. Contacting your ex and asking for some financial help for the dogs may be a way forward (is this possible?) Walking the dogs on a regular basis may give you the chance to strike up a conversation with a fellow dog walker. Just a simple 'hello' to begin with and then each day try to add a little conversation.

Have you got a CAB in your town? Could they assess you for PIP to see if you meet the descriptors? They may also telephone tax credits on your behalf to see what is happening. Is there a MIND group in your town that you could go to?

I know all this depends on your mental state so it is really important that you see your doctor and 'put them in the picture'.

Good luck!

John_In_Lincs

Sorry to hear that geminilady. This is a hell I wondered if I would find myself in earlier this year. I thought I had done enough to try to prevent this happening, but I've just about lost everything.

The dogs are on the cheapest food I can find and I am thankful to say that it's really decent stuff. They have a mix of fresh (frozen) meat and the appropriate biscuits for their age. This actually works out cheaper than buying the tins or dog chubb. I don't know where their next food is coming from though. They have enough for another week or more. I will contact my ex-wife and see if she can help.

Here lies another problem - my energy supplier put me on an expensive tariff a year ago and I only recently found out when trying to cut down on bills. They say I am over £1000 in arrears, which is based on an estimate, so I don't accept that. I have reported them to the energy ombudsman service. I have also had to do the same with two other companies as they are demanding unrealistically large amounts.

And here lies another set of problems. When everything started to go wrong with my marriage, I moved out of the property (housing association). A few months after this, my wife had moved out to be with her ex-boyfriend, so I was able to move back into the property. Both of our names are still on the rent card - they have to be because of rent arrears. I discovered that, while I had been out of the property, she had stopped paying all the bills, so I now have a lot of debts to catch up with.

You see, there are problems after problems here. I know they are probably not 'serious' in the general scheme of things, but for me, I am find things unbearable. No matter how hard I try to tell myself that these are just simple debts, I cannot stop worrying about them. I am being bombarded with debt collections letters, which I have ripped up until recently - I have to take these to the debt help meeting next week.

Thanks again.

Alice_Holt

Not sure how useful this will be - it repeats some suggestions made earlier:
1) Please do go back to your GP.
2) Do you have a local CAB - they could help with debts and the benefits side.
3) Have a look through turn2us for any grants - https://www.turn2us.org.uk/Find-Benefits-Grants
4) Dog walking as a source of income (but you will need to be aware of how this affects benefits)?
5) Any way you could swap your skills for essentials - local bartering sites?

kelpie35

Have you no family who could support you at this time?

cattie

I've no advice re getting hold of some funds quickly sadly, but just want to make a couple of suggestions regarding your mental health.

Is there possibly a branch of MIND near you, as they could offer advice re any benefits you might be eligible for & also run groups to help people with mental health problems socialise.

I agree you do need to see your GP asap & I'm hoping that they are the kind who listen & will be understanding. They could possibly refer you to the local community mental health team as this support could be vital for you with things the way that they are currently.

If you haven't already, look into any local food banks that might operate in your area, they probably have pet food as well to give out to pet owners.