O/S Daily Thursday 22 June 2017

karcher

nannywindow wrote: »

I would love to help you and Karcher write your book, although some of my stories may not be on the nice side. However since my mum passed away my eyes have been opened as to how I have been thought of. e.g. wouldn't pass my 11+ exams for a start, not clever enough ! Boo sucks to that because I did :rotfl:. I think that my mum had her job cut out just keeping him in check and now the brakes are off big time.
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Thank you for caring and don't forget it is reciprocated, and I'm here for you at anytime.
nan

Oh I was never ever 'good' enough, I spent my childhood and into my early 20's being compared to the daughter of family friends. I was not a patch on her! She was a good friend for many years, but I hated the constant comparison: 'she wouldn't do this, she wouldn't do that, she's so lovely/pretty/clever' blah blah blah.:(.

I am ashamed to admit this but when my Degree grade was better than hers I cheered (not that I wished her that, it's just that it went some way to stopping me feeling so bloody inferior )..

She has a fantastic job and earns shed loads now..but hey, I ain't comparing

caronc

My favourite mug says "as far as anyone knows we are a perfectly normal family" - says it all really certainly in my family

Nelski

I can feel a trilogy coming on somehow :rotfl:

elona

The irony is that the male family member seemingly praised me to neighbours and said how proud he was of me and how well I looked after my twins and then her sister etc.

To my face I just got the negatives and never felt good enough or even adequate.

On the bonus side - I try always to show dds how much they are loved and that I am proud of them.

elona

Forget to mention that house now looks a lot better. While the cleaner did her stuff I sorted and tidied and cleared and everything looks a lot better.

Middle dd came round tonight and could not believe how much better everything looked. I am so pleased with what has been done as I could not have done it on my own and having someone to clean and hoover meant I could sort things out properly while that was being done.

[Deleted User]

All families have different ideas about their children I think My late Dad was extremely old fashioned in his outlook to women especially but he was born in 1890 and was in his fifties when I was born so he was a product of his age. He was brought up in the era of a woman's work was in the home rearing children, and education was wasted on women who would only get married and have the children, he definitely believed it as well and my late Mum when they married gave up her job as a buyer for a large department store in Glasgow in 1935 and never went out to work again. He believed that it was a mans job to earn the money and he ruled our house quite strictly I think looking back.

My Mum was a very canny lady though and had her ways of getting her own way :):) She said when I was a little girl, and Dad had put his foot down about something
'Don't worry hen, there is more than one way to skin a cat' If you want something done then put the idea into a man's head and let him think it was what he wanted to do in the first place' ,I suppose stoke their ego a bit and you get what you want .

I must admit it did work as my late OH hated DIY and if I wanted anything done I would always casually remark 'Hmm you really made a great job when you did that (what ever it was indoors) '

Let the idea once sown in their minds sink in for a bit, and as a rule within a month my OH would say 'Do you know the sitting room is looking a bit tired ,how long is it since 'we' decorated ?

I'd say 'well I did the stripping of the wallpaper you were the one who put it up,mmm must be about 5-6 years at least and you did so well that its lasted so long ,but you are right it is looking a bit past its best'.

The following week he would be off, saying lets go and have a look some paper /paint etc ' :):)

Bless him in 40 odd years he never cottoned on and far better than me nagging about the state of the decor :):) I passed this idea on to my two Dds when they got married and its worked for them as well.

My Dad was the head of the house right enough but Mum was the one who ran it and him with a canniness that was amazing.She would always say to my dad what do you think about ... what ever it was she wanted doing etc and he always did what she wanted .She would look at me and wink, and we would have a small grin to each other .
She never let on to my brothers though, as she said men are a totally different species to women and are just not constructed to think like us :):). Folks are strange at times though and for all their faults sometimes I honestly wonder why some people had children .My youngest DDs ma-in-law is the most unmaternal lady I know and she had three and my son-in law is so different when his Mum is there (not often as she rarely visits them) .My four grandsons have only been to her house once in their lives and she only lived 25 miles away.She has now moved to Somerset and hasn't seen the boys since last year and probably won't make the effort to come up to visit and the boys all know that she just doesn't like visitors .I feel sorry for her as they have all grown up into fine young men and I adore them all.I rarely go a day without seeing them and if I am away with my friend on holiday in the spring I make sure I facetime them or message them.I suppose not all of us are alike and perhaps some folk find it hard to show their feelings.