How much board for an 18 year old?

dominator99

My partner & I are OAP's & our 18+ granddaughter lives with us. She is in full time education & we receive £270/month in child tax credit. If this 'stingy' government reckons this is a fair amount then so should the average 'child'.
They wouldn't get rented accommodation for anywhere as cheap as this!

maman

dominator99 wrote: »

My partner & I are OAP's & our 18+ granddaughter lives with us. She is in full time education & we receive £270/month in child tax credit. If this 'stingy' government reckons this is a fair amount then so should the average 'child'.
They wouldn't get rented accommodation for anywhere as cheap as this!

Apologies if there's a difficult family situation that necessitates your DGD living with you rather than her parents.

I have a 17 year old DGD who lives with her parents and the only government help they get is the Child Allowance. I'm sure they're pleased about that bit of extra but other than that they expect to care for their own child both financially and in all other ways.

For whatever reason your DGD lives with you and you seem to be implying that you're 'in loco parentis' and not receiving help from her parents. Of course you'd want to take her in and care for her but is she really costing you more than £270 a month in household expenses over and above what you'd pay without her?

Pollycat

Just wanted to point out that the original post was almost 2 years ago in case anyone wants to give advice on that ...:)

Takmon

dominator99 wrote: »

My partner & I are OAP's & our 18+ granddaughter lives with us. She is in full time education & we receive £270/month in child tax credit. If this 'stingy' government reckons this is a fair amount then so should the average 'child'.
They wouldn't get rented accommodation for anywhere as cheap as this!

I can't believe your complaining about the amount of money the government gives you for looking after a relative of yours :eek: , why should the government pay you anything at all?

I can guarantee that you will be making a profit out of that £270 a month.
-Your already heating your house because you live there so no extra costs for that.
-The extra cost of electricity will be minimal (i use less than £25 a month for an entire house and i could reduce that).
-I spend less than £100 a month on food for two people so one extra person if your cooking anyway will be far less.

You should be happy with the extra money your getting because she lives with you instead of complaining.

Jimarj

Hi there,
I am very aware of the fact that this thread was originally posted over 2 years ago but I find myself in a situation where I am looking for the same advice as the OP. I have autistic twins who don't "automatically get" what is involved if they were to live on their own. I originally sought the answer of what I should charge them in dig money when they turn 18 as they are "legally" adults and can move out at any given time. They are at college but as well as an EMA they also get PIP money. Now, for those that live elsewhere other than Scotland EMA is the educational maintenance allowance that they are given for staying in full time education and the PIP is the government payment they get for being autistic. I never expected to be given money when I had twins but it sure as hell helped with the expenses of bringing up children! Now for the ones who have explicitly said that the government don't have to give you money to have children, this is very true and for those who (like myself) found it difficult to conceive I am truly grateful for the children that I have. I don't see then as "cash cows" or anything else other than the children I brought into this world but here is my opinion. In this day and age a lot of young people get away with far too much and live with their parents and don't pay dig money because that is what they think they are entitled to do. Parents back in the day tried to teach their children about problem solving, financial independance and the fact that the world DOES NOT owe them a living and that everything they want will not land on their laps when they want it and that they will have to work for it the same as most adults of a certain age had to do. Now, I am not saying that all young people are like this but working in a primary school, I tend to have an insight into the generation that is up and coming and I tell you this for free, the upbringing of children is changing and not for the better.Especially if you have people of the opinion that youngsters shouldn't have to pay their way when living at home and that parents are doing it for a profit or that it is appalling to want to charge any young person that was borne to them rent money in order to help them in the future.
I have a 38 year old niece in law who earns 20K a year, has a child, lives with her 86yr old grandad and doesn't hand in a penny to the household!!!!!! She even charges her Grandad petrol money every time he steps into the car regardless of whether she was going there or not!!!! Is this really what we want for our kids of today? To think that they are entitled to whatever they can get regardless of what circumstances, because that is the way that today's society is going if we have people that are of the opinion that it is wrong to charge our children who are of age to pay dig money and feel guilty of it. As for the advice that I originally came on to get? I think I will go with my instincts so that I know that at the very least my kids KNOW that NOTHING is free in this life!!!!

nobile

Jimarj wrote: »

Hi there,
I am very aware of the fact that this thread was originally posted over 2 years ago but I find myself in a situation where I am looking for the same advice as the OP. I have autistic twins who don't "automatically get" what is involved if they were to live on their own. I originally sought the answer of what I should charge them in dig money when they turn 18 as they are "legally" adults and can move out at any given time. They are at college but as well as an EMA they also get PIP money. Now, for those that live elsewhere other than Scotland EMA is the educational maintenance allowance that they are given for staying in full time education and the PIP is the government payment they get for being autistic. I never expected to be given money when I had twins but it sure as hell helped with the expenses of bringing up children! Now for the ones who have explicitly said that the government don't have to give you money to have children, this is very true and for those who (like myself) found it difficult to conceive I am truly grateful for the children that I have. I don't see then as "cash cows" or anything else other than the children I brought into this world but here is my opinion. In this day and age a lot of young people get away with far too much and live with their parents and don't pay dig money because that is what they think they are entitled to do. Parents back in the day tried to teach their children about problem solving, financial independance and the fact that the world DOES NOT owe them a living and that everything they want will not land on their laps when they want it and that they will have to work for it the same as most adults of a certain age had to do. Now, I am not saying that all young people are like this but working in a primary school, I tend to have an insight into the generation that is up and coming and I tell you this for free, the upbringing of children is changing and not for the better.Especially if you have people of the opinion that youngsters shouldn't have to pay their way when living at home and that parents are doing it for a profit or that it is appalling to want to charge any young person that was borne to them rent money in order to help them in the future.
I have a 38 year old niece in law who earns 20K a year, has a child, lives with her 86yr old grandad and doesn't hand in a penny to the household!!!!!! She even charges her Grandad petrol money every time he steps into the car regardless of whether she was going there or not!!!! Is this really what we want for our kids of today? To think that they are entitled to whatever they can get regardless of what circumstances, because that is the way that today's society is going if we have people that are of the opinion that it is wrong to charge our children who are of age to pay dig money and feel guilty of it. As for the advice that I originally came on to get? I think I will go with my instincts so that I know that at the very least my kids KNOW that NOTHING is free in this life!!!!

Your niece-in-law is just a con artist, exploiting her grandparents. Simple as that. Probably a nasty, horrible person as well.

Pollycat

nobile wrote: »

Your niece-in-law is just a con artist, exploiting her grandparents. Simple as that. Probably a nasty, horrible person as well.

But is what she does and how she behaves really any of Jimarj's business?
She's an in-law.
Immediate family should be stepping in if they think it's wrong.

We don't know 'grandad's financial circumstances.
He may be happy for someone to live with him.
He may be happy for that person to pay nothing towards the household.
He may be happy for the convenience of having access to transport when he wants it.

I don't think we should judge someone on the basis of a 2nd hand account.

silvercar

Jimarj wrote:

In this day and age a lot of young people get away with far too much and live with their parents and don't pay dig money because that is what they think they are entitled to do.

You're wrong. A lot don't pay dig money because their parents don't want to take money off them. Their parents are happy for them to live in the family home and wouldn't dream of charging them to do so. They encourage their children to be independent and discover the world knowing that home is always there for them.

.Especially if you have people of the opinion that youngsters shouldn't have to pay their way when living at home and that parents are doing it for a profit or that it is appalling to want to charge any young person that was borne to them rent money in order to help them in the future.

I don't see how taking rent money off them is helping them in the future. If you bring up your children properly they will understand the value of money, whether or not you charge them to live in your home.
If you charge them more than the "extra" costs of living with you, then you are profiting, if you can't see that then your own money management skills need improving!

Susan1942

My nephew is 42 and still.lives at home..He earns about £27,000 a year. He has got substantial savings and gives my Sister £70 a week.
He requires special diet due to skin and asthma so she has to buy specific foods read every label..She cooks separately She does washing ironing cleans his room. Takes 3! showers a day
Bakes for him.but allergies etc no eggs Even cleans his shoes. He goes to the gym and brings home multiple wet towels shoe s running vests etc..He knows he is totally spoiled. His Sister who.is married resents the amount of work he creates for his Mum..He is incredibly clumsy and it is easier to.do.the.things rather than clear up after him
She is very happy with what he gives her..He would pay more . He has got broadband and Sports TV ? Skwhen parents are y I.think
He has thus income as he works a lot of overtime.
I think.in the long term he should pay this amount..He started to save because when his Parents are gone he will.need.to.buy his Sister out of her share of the house..He would be able to.do that right now .It is written into their will.that he can't be forced to.movr out of the house but he would have to buy her out.
She is getting on mid 70's. He also.works shifts so.is cooking.at 10.pm
He is s poor soul with a lot of health problems..He is hard working.and won't stay off work.even when he can be pretty I'll
My Grandson is now finished his studies a job.pending..He is not earning so.pays nothing but.onky.completed.his studies in.September They don't give him any.money
Sue

maman

Jimarj wrote: »

Hi there,
I am very aware of the fact that this thread was originally posted over 2 years ago but I find myself in a situation where I am looking for the same advice as the OP. I have autistic twins who don't "automatically get" what is involved if they were to live on their own. I originally sought the answer of what I should charge them in dig money when they turn 18 as they are "legally" adults and can move out at any given time. They are at college but as well as an EMA they also get PIP money. Now, for those that live elsewhere other than Scotland EMA is the educational maintenance allowance that they are given for staying in full time education and the PIP is the government payment they get for being autistic. I never expected to be given money when I had twins but it sure as hell helped with the expenses of bringing up children! Now for the ones who have explicitly said that the government don't have to give you money to have children, this is very true and for those who (like myself) found it difficult to conceive I am truly grateful for the children that I have. I don't see then as "cash cows" or anything else other than the children I brought into this world but here is my opinion. In this day and age a lot of young people get away with far too much and live with their parents and don't pay dig money because that is what they think they are entitled to do. Parents back in the day tried to teach their children about problem solving, financial independance and the fact that the world DOES NOT owe them a living and that everything they want will not land on their laps when they want it and that they will have to work for it the same as most adults of a certain age had to do. Now, I am not saying that all young people are like this but working in a primary school, I tend to have an insight into the generation that is up and coming and I tell you this for free, the upbringing of children is changing and not for the better.Especially if you have people of the opinion that youngsters shouldn't have to pay their way when living at home and that parents are doing it for a profit or that it is appalling to want to charge any young person that was borne to them rent money in order to help them in the future.
I have a 38 year old niece in law who earns 20K a year, has a child, lives with her 86yr old grandad and doesn't hand in a penny to the household!!!!!! She even charges her Grandad petrol money every time he steps into the car regardless of whether she was going there or not!!!! Is this really what we want for our kids of today? To think that they are entitled to whatever they can get regardless of what circumstances, because that is the way that today's society is going if we have people that are of the opinion that it is wrong to charge our children who are of age to pay dig money and feel guilty of it. As for the advice that I originally came on to get? I think I will go with my instincts so that I know that at the very least my kids KNOW that NOTHING is free in this life!!!!

Are you sure you want advice or just to rant and put your own point of view?

I realised that you used shorthand but, it's my understanding that the PIP isn't just because they're autistic but it's designed for them to pay for support that they may need in everyday living. Would that include paying you, their mother, to look after them? Have you any additional expenses/loss of income that makes it essential for them to pay you now rather than before they turned 18?

As for teaching children the value of money, budgeting etc than I think 18 is far too late to be starting that. Of course your autistic children may be a special case but I'm generalising as you did.

I totally agree with silvercar, particularly these points:

'Their parents are happy for them to live in the family home and wouldn't dream of charging them to do so. They encourage their children to be independent and discover the world knowing that home is always there for them.'


'If you charge them more than the "extra" costs of living with you, then you are profiting, if you can't see that then your own money management skills need improving! '