Getting put on Birth Certificate...legal implications..

rchddap1

The father of the other kids did the dirty from what I've been told. What makes things worse for the other kids is that he doesn't care about them at all. He's gone and doesn't bother with them at all. My partner's daughter kept a little diary at the time and showed it to him. It was full of "when will my Dad come and take me away". She was trying to show that her 'new dad' meant the earth to her, but in reality she was really talking about the 'dirty dad' in the diary. Still meant the earth to my partner though as he could see how much she really needed him in her life. He has always needed her, but was always worried that she wouldn't 'need him' if you understand. In fact we nearly had a few tears. The diary is now safe in what I call 'his little bundle'. It contains a few pictures etc...from his past that he consders 'sacred'.

However, she now has a Dad, but the other kids don't. This is partly why the sometimes destroy her things, though they haven't admitted it. They want a Dad too, and see their sister as having something that they don't. So when she gets something they use it, and every so often can get a little over zealous if you get my meaning.

Anyway, getting off track here. Thanks for the information about CSA, and it confirmed what I suspected. The next question, is how much does it cost. We don't have a lot of cash spare at the moment as we are saving up for a 16th birthday pressie. I don't suppose someone here knows?

I'm still concerned about the Education payment though...I guess I shall have to start to use google to answer this one.

Fran

Money for 16 yr olds in school & college

rchddap1

As for Income Support, we have no idea what she has told them or not told them. It is a complete mystery. It sounds like my parther & the mother need to have a conversation at some point. I suppose its a difficult question or subject to talk about after so many years.

I'm actually not certain which beneifts she is on. She might be on IS she might not. I do know she is studying something at the moment to help her get a job.

My partner certainly wouldn't want her to get into any trouble about knowing where he is. I suppose in all honesty she didn't know whether he could be relied upon to stick around. Especially after the other kids Dad hasn't bothered with his kids at all (ie, made arrangements to see them and never turned up).

All this is starting to get a little worrying now.

Murtle

"There is no charge for the re-registration of the birth, but the usual fee will be charged for any certificates issued." Quoted from the form you'll have to complete to re-register the birth.

Good luck

Fran

That's why it's important to get advice eg. from C.A.B. so you know exactly where everyone stands. If it is IS she is on then your partner needs to know where he stands re potentially paying back CSA (he should be more concerned about his situation than his ex's as he stands to have more owing than ex.). If she had told them about him before, he would have received contact from them by now. Rather than worrying, he should get advice on it.

calleyw

Spendless wrote:

I'm not sure about maintainance payments for stopping on at school/college. I think my neighbour was once telling me about a difference for higher and further education but as I have no knowledge I couldn't say.

As far as I was aware ( I do have dealings with CSA via Hubby)you keeping CSA payments until child benefit stops. Which if they go to college/6th Form will be the september after there 19th Birthday.

More info here


Yours

Calley

jellyhead

i have vague memories (very vague, it was 8 years ago, i was a new mum on very little sleep and was on blood pressure medication lol!) that all he had to do was pay for a solicitor to witness the form, something like that, and it would cost around £30. i could be wrong though, i often am

as for the CSA thing, whether he's on the certificate or not doesn't really make any difference, they could chase him for back payments if they wanted to and if he is definitely the biological father of the child he'll have to pay. he can get the current payment reduced by a seventh if he has her to stay overnight once a week.

as far as i can remember when spud's father went through a brief period of paying the CSA there were backpayments included but i think they only backdated it to the time when they opened the case (they had to find him then wait for him to return forms etc, it all took time), it wasn't backdated to the birth of spud.

i'm not having a dig here but technically your partner should have paid maintenance all along, even if he had no contact with the child. it's only 15% of income if it's just the one child. i know you say he helps out in other ways but that's not the way it's supposed to work, he is supposed to pay maintenance so that the state doesn't have to fully shoulder the financial burden of the child (i know that sounds really horrible, i'm not being nasty honestly, just saying what the CSA/IS/etc. would say if you asked them the same question). your partner isn't supposed to be allowed to decide in which way he'd rather support the child - maintenance or under the table secret payments or gifts. most fathers pay the maintance and also provide extra support in the way of buying a bike, etc. so be prepared for this thread to turn nasty if it comes to the attention of certain forum members ...

if you want to be sure that the CSA won't come looking for your partner he needs to find out what the mother told the benefits agency, and why they haven't contacted him up til now. some parents say they don't know who fathered the child, i knew somebody who said she got pregnant while drunk at a party where she didn't know any of the guests (it was true, she didn't have any idea who might have fathered the child) and they believed her, but there are others who refuse to co-operate and have their benefit reduced if they don't disclose the name of the father. that happened to my sisters neighbour, they reduced her benefits but she didn't care because the (married) father of the child was paying her enough to make up the shortfall if she kept his name out of it. somebody else (i know a lot of benefits claimants don't i lol!) gave them the name of the father but she didn't know his national insurance number or his parents address - just the address he lived at as a student while she was dating him. they didn't find him, he wasn't working at the time so maybe he wasn't registered on any of their systems and he wouldn't have been on the electoral roll there because students go on their parents forms. there's any number of possible reasons why the CSA didn't look for him years ago so if you want to know the likelihood of them looking for him now you need to find out what she told them.

Spendless

calleyw wrote:

As far as I was aware ( I do have dealings with CSA via Hubby)you keeping CSA payments until child benefit stops. Which if they go to college/6th Form will be the september after there 19th Birthday.

More info here


Yours

Calley

calley don't you mean the sept following their 18th birthday? assuming they haven't had to do an extra year to re-sit exams.

rchddap1

I can understand why some people would be annoyed at my OH for this thread. If I was in some people's situation on MSE I would be one of the first that was annoyed that he hadn't paid maintenance. I'm hoping that people understand that I'm something like piggy in the middle here. He asks me for information, and so I have to go out and find it. I try not to get too involved as he sees these sorts of things as 'his problem' and doesn't want me to be hurt as a result of it.

I know he should have been paying something since the birth of his daughter (and so does he), but when 'some individuals' would rather he not exist at all ... things just got lost in the mists of time. If he'd have been contacted then he wouldn't have argued at all and would have been happy to come to some arrangement. His daughter, his responsbility.

Luckily he managed to track down the mother himself (which was interesting after many years). Mother was happy to let him meet daughter and things have slowly gone forward from there. Because such a long amount of time had passed things have moved very slowly and very carefully, but all for the benefit of the daughter.

None of this was intentional on either side. Both were young and lots of mistakes were made. Now, both sides are trying their best to repair the damage and to help each other.

I'm trying to be careful over what I say here, as really this is between my partner and his ex partner. But sufice it to say that there were some very good and powerful reasons why my partner was not involved in any way when his daughter was born....and yes he did want to be involved if he was asked. I hope that this is enough information for you all to put 2 and 2 together and work out the basics of what happened all those many years ago.

I know it sounds strange to feel obliged to wait to be asked to be involved, but due to the circumstances that was the only way forward. He wasn't asked. He didn't want to cause problems. Result = daughter missing in action (so to speak)

His father abandoned him when he was 5 years old and so his kids are very important to him as a result. Imagine what he had to say when his other daughter started asking about her half-sister ... and he had to reply "I don't know, sorry, as I have never seen her". It really hurt him to have to say that.

Right now he is the happies man alive as he has contact with both of his daughters. Something that he only imagined in his dreams.

I will pass on all of your comments to him and will suggest that he has a good chat with 'mother' to sort this mess out.

jellyhead

i wasn't being annoyed at him, i realise that it's an odd situation with him being out of the picture for so long. lots of parents lose contact completely, i wouldn't have a clue where to look for my sons father, all i know is his parents address (they send christmas cards etc. to their grandson but they don't appear to know where the father is either, or if they do they don't mention him). i did have his NI number (but i don't know how - i think he gave it to me when the CSA first got involved, he was helpful initially) so the CSA know that but they didn't seem able to use it to find him. his parents used to come and visit their grandson every few months but stopped around his second birthday when it became clear that their son had absolutely no interest in continuing contact. they know that i have never stopped contact and they know my details for if he ever wants to contact us so it's down to him really. not everyone has that link with the grandparents though and i do see how easy it is not completely lose touch, especially when there's conflict.