Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my uncle to pay his debt?

MSE_Sarah

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My father died suddenly in February. He'd lent his brother-in-law (my uncle) £560 on the understanding that my uncle would repay £50 per month. My father wrote down the details of the loan, and told both my brother and me in case anything should ever happen to him. Since my father’s death, not only has my uncle not mentioned the loan, he has also been asking for things from the house clearance (which we have not given to him). Should we mention the loan to our uncle, or write it off?

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Elisecas

What would make you dad happy?

If it's forgiving the debt, do so with a little joy that you can.


And by all means tell your uncle that you would love to that as one last gift from his brother...

Geoff1963

The outstanding loan is an asset of the estate which you have inherited, so it is as if the uncle had borrowed off you.
If you do write it off, Elisecas advice ( if I read it right ) is good ; tell him it is a gift.

SeaBeeUK

You need to get the permission of all open beneficiaries i.e those who will share what is left after specific legacies ahave been paid, otherwise it is your gift.

Manxman_in_exile

Elisecas wrote: »

What would make you dad happy?

If it's forgiving the debt, do so with a little joy that you can.


And by all means tell your uncle that you would love to that as one last gift from his brother...

Not sure it is as simple as you seem to think. If dad didn't consider it to be an outright gift why make a written record of it and why tell the OP and their brother if "anything happened to them"? Sounds like dad considered that it should be taken account of in the event of their death as an asset of their estate.


What if other beneficiaries are disadvantaged as a result of the OP ignoring this "debt"?


May depend on whether Dad's estate is worth a lot or not much. Whether there is a will or intestate.


Is the OP and/or their brother an executor?

Yorkshireman99

MSE_Sarah wrote: »

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My father died suddenly in February. He'd lent his brother-in-law (my uncle) £560 on the understanding that my uncle would repay £50 per month. My father wrote down the details of the loan, and told both my brother and me in case anything should ever happen to him. Since my father’s death, not only has my uncle not mentioned the loan, he has also been asking for things from the house clearance (which we have not given to him). Should we mention the loan to our uncle, or write it off?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply!

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It is a straightforward debt owed to the estate. The executor does not have the luxury of deciding what debts they will collect.

Sean_Burn

Sounds to me like uncle is a taker, or why else would dad have specifically documented and made it known about the loan. This is further evidenced by him wanting to take things from the house.

Be strong and ask him what his plans are for repayment and produce the document to show him. The ball is then in his court and you can judge accordingly.

colinlyne

The use of the word "estate" simply means the net worth of the person, and in this instance refers to the deceased father. This instance is a typical greed situation where a beneficiary hopes to obtain more money than is available ( the loan still owing), when the son has already been "left" an amount of money or goods. You should write the debt off, as the money does not belong to you! It is unearned income and you should be grateful that you have received anything! This is a typical case of avarice.

nom_de_plume

colinlyne wrote: »

The use of the word "estate" simply means the net worth of the person, and in this instance refers to the deceased father. This instance is a typical greed situation where a beneficiary hopes to obtain more money than is available ( the loan still owing), when the son has already been "left" an amount of money or goods. You should write the debt off, as the money does not belong to you! It is unearned income and you should be grateful that you have received anything! This is a typical case of avarice.

Wrong on so many counts...

The estate would include any and all assets of the deceased. This would most certainly include any monies owed to them such as this loan. To say the loan does not belong to the (presumably) beneficiary is completely incorrect.

Let's take a hypothetical situation where the beneficiary is a charity that relies on such donations to keep them going. Do you think they would be greedy to expect to receive it? Rather, I suspect they would vigorously pursue it and through the courts if appropriate.

Reaper

colinlyne wrote: »

This instance is a typical greed situation where a beneficiary hopes to obtain more money than is available ( the loan still owing), when the son has already been "left" an amount of money or goods.

Rubbish. It is up to the executor (whoever that is) to work out the total value of the estate including all assets and liabilities then divide up the estate according to the will.

The executor should be given all the paperwork to enable them to do their job. Hiding the loan paperwork from them would be wrong.

gloriouslyhappy

The debtor is the brother in law, not the brother, of the deceased. Sounds to me as if, with asking for things from the house and not mentioning the debt, that he's been a bit of a scrounger and getting desperate now the gravy train has gone. But as always with family, it's an awkward situation. However, I feel the executors of the estate should bring this debt to the uncle's attention, if only to have it out in the open before any decision can be made. This debt does form part of the legal estate of the deceased as it's been documented and disclosed to the beneficiaries, so it needs to be discussed properly.