How do I get the cooking urge back?

morganlefay

I know how you feel too. I would suggest a slow cooker (even tho I NEVER feel like messing around with it in the morning). But I had a breakthrough on reading on here that you can put all the stuff in cold and raw and walk away - I thought you had to brown the meat and fry off onions etc and put it into the cooker hot, all at 7.30am before setting off for work.
I agree that tins of soup (Campbells tomato, or mushroom are my faves) are very good to tip over any sort of meat or fish and bung on to cook.
What I now do is to have a range of five things which I make weekdays. They are always the same (tho the days we have them on might differ) and anyone who complains will be asked to cook on the following night (he never has yet !)
So we have: Monday - do something with the left-over roast, so shepherd's pie, or chicken in white sauce (or Campbells soup) with red peppers, onions, sweetcorn or something like that.probably with rice.
Tuesday: cauli cheese with grilled bacon and bread and butter (no spuds, I can't be bothered)
Wednesday: mince in some form. I cook it in the MW (you just have to cook it for a startlingly long time, and it's fine) - with onion, tin toms, bit of celery - whatever I've got hanging around - sometimes with pasts, sometimes with rice, sometimes with chilli and beans.
Thursday: sausage night, OH LOVES Thursdays. Mash and onion gravy. We have a veg if I can be bothered and often can't. Sometimes I put pepper, courgette, aubergine and tomato in with the onions so we have ratatouille instead of onion gravy. Sometimes I stir a bit of grainy mustard in the mash - very nice !
Friday: some sort of chicken thing, thighs usually, baked with onions and a bit of stock, end of bottle of wine if I have it, and splosh in some yoghurt or cream if any left over at the very end. Rice or boiled spuds and probably a green veg to push the boat out.

Much Easiyo eaten as puds, or fruit. OH loves ice cream (I don't) so he has that as a treat.

I find this a very easy way to get it all cooked quickly and easily (as I no longer have to think about it) it's easier on the shopping as I always buy the same ingredients at the w/e . Weekend food is the time when I have more time and inclination to be a bit more exciting and then I just make it up depending on what's in the shops when I go.

But I know exactly how you feel, and my OH used to be v good at washing up, and now never does tho I can't remember when or why I let him get away with that one since he does nothing else in the kitchen. Hum.

Also I find Good Food mag quite a good source of easy ideas which aren't too pricey.

HTH

Morgan

Chollita

Well, you're not his first wife, and you're not his mother. This is supposed to be a partnership. No way should you be sacrificing your own hobbies to enable him to do whatever he wants.

Stop me if I'm probing too far, but are there any other problems? Sounds as though he wants an employee, not a partner.

Sola

I guess we've got stuck in a groove over the years; if I provided someone else to cook, clean and shag him, I doubt he'd even notice I was gone! He's putting all his energy into a particular interest which I don't share, and I'm resentful because of it but at the same time relieved that he's not hanging round me all the time. Doesn't sound good, does it? Time to sit down and get it all out in the open and if that doesn't help, consider marriage guidance, because there'll come a time when I pack a bag and walk out for good.

The truth is he's happiest when I'm being 'superbossy but not angry' and telling him exactly what to do (that was how his first marriage functioned), but I despise anyone who lets me do that and I find it exhausting to have to be in charge. I just want an equal relationship with no power games or manipulation. Catch 22.

newlywed

Sola wrote: »

We tried to do something similar - I would cook and he would wash-up. Problem is, he only washes up once a week, and I go on strike after the 3rd day because I can't move for manky catfood tins and plates. I'm just not prepared to live like that anymore; it's embarassing. I asked him 2 weeks ago to wash the kitchenfloor (God forbid that he should notice himself that it needs doing) and I'm still waiting; it'll be interesting to see if it's still like that next Tuesday. I'd pay a cleaner but he won't have a stranger in our house. I make him sound awful, don't I? He's actually a nice genial guy but he needs a boot up the !!!! sometimes.

OH is the opposite - he washes the bathroom and kitchen floors every week and is always complaining that I've spilled something, left crumbs on the worktop, not put stuff away!

He's a clean freak and I didn't grow up to be quite as erm observant about the mess I make when cooking etc. He dusts each room every week (cept our bedroom as that is my job), vacuums every other day or sometimes everyday.

Took some getting used to....

Chollita

You need to tell him that you are really unhappy with the situation, and hopefully he will have the sense to acknowledge that, and pull his weight properly ... which doesn't mean making a half-hearted effort for a week or two, it needs long-term changes, or the resentment just builds up.

Sorry, but he does sound a bit traditional ... I guess that might work for some people, but in your situation, it is not fair.

morganlefay

Beware the OS forum. Last year I asked a very simple question about how I could get my OH to buy me an Xmas present that I would actually enjoy and suddenly it became all about our relationship, and much deeper water. I got some really good advice from new but unknown friends on here and am very grateful.I hope it works like that for you..... Big hug.

pollyanna24

I can understand where you are coming from.

My bf is actually really good at the whole cleaning thing and we have lodgers, so everyone does their bit.

Why my bf decided to tell the lodgers when they moved in that I would cook for them, I have no idea (oh yes, it's cos it's me and not him doing it, that's right).

I don't actually mind cooking. I'm not a mindblowing cook, just good hearty meals. Sometimes I do resent it and the night I'm at college, they have takeaway and I have to grab something during the day from sandwich shop, but there you go.

The way I work is batch cooking at the weekends. I work full time and cannot be ars3d with faffing around once I get in. Admittedly I get in with enough time to cook something proper, but seeing as I get up at 5.30am, most of the time can't be bothered.

I cook 8 portions of something when I batch cook. Therefore it will do 2 dinners. When all the parasites/leeches (sorry lodgers) move out, 8 portions will do 4 dinners, wahey!

I know you can keep frozen food for about 3 months, so I just go mad and keep my freezers well stocked, so on any given evening, I take out what I want for the next evening and make sure I had the side bits to go with it.

Usually I have in the freezer
Goulash
Spag Bol (either as is or made into lasagne)

Mince/carrots (either to be heated up as it is, or shoved in a dish for shepherds pie)

Chicken Tonight (only recently learned this can be made, then frozen)

Meatloaf/hamburger mix

(Can you see a beef mince theme here?!)

Sausages

Barbecued chicken bits (from Tesco)

Chicken Kievs

There are a few others, but I find it's just a case of thinking things through to make sure everything's in order. If my menu plan is wrecked by us going out, I just think "Great, one less meal to cook" and shift everything forward a day.

Sola

Chollita wrote: »

You need to tell him that you are really unhappy with the situation, and hopefully he will have the sense to acknowledge that, and pull his weight properly ... which doesn't mean making a half-hearted effort for a week or two, it needs long-term changes, or the resentment just builds up.

Sorry, but he does sound a bit traditional ... I guess that might work for some people, but in your situation, it is not fair.

We seem to go through this every 1 - 2 years. Last time I packed a bag and told him I was off and he panicked and promised to change, but it didn't last.

pollyanna24

If I were you, I would just stop cooking.

I know I waffled on above about what I do, but at least my lot appreciate (sometimes) what I do.

I would be quite happy eating pasta everyday, but I like to make it different for them.

So if I were you, I would just stop and cook little things for yourself. He'll soon get the picture and it will save on cooking ingredients.

However, I am know to be a little spite so and so.:p

jo1972

Sola, I so know what you mean...

I love cooking but only on the weekends, I loathe it during the week as I'm out of the house for 12 hours a day, don't get home till 8pm and then have to cook, bleeughh, hate it. But come Saturday, I'm scouring the recipe books looking for something yummy and complicated to make!

Dh is a great cook (makes a mean carribean goat curry from scratch) but rarely finds his way to the kitchen, although I'm not particularly bothered as he uses practically every utensil in the kitchen and leaves half of the ingredients all over the worksurfaces :eek: :rotfl:

This used to irritate me, but now I just think...bless him, shame he can't multi-task like me - which I remind him of often

There are some great suggestions for quick meals on here, I shall use a few myself!