How do I get the cooking urge back?

Sola

I used to love cooking and planning dinner parties, but now I'm married and expected to cook every day, I've grown to really dislike it. It's not something DH will share - he's really frightened by the thought of cooking. I've tried batch cooking, weekly planning ahead etc, but I'm so tired after a long day at work (gone 7.00 till 6.00 at the earliest depending on workload) and really resentful that it's a daily chore that eats into what little free time I have. I'd happily live on cheese and crackers or beans on toast in the evening, but he expects a full meal. Any words of wisdom?

AussieLass

You have my sympathy. I don't know what to suggest if you've tried to batch cook, menu plan etc. I think it's more of an issue for you that your DH isn't prepared to help. If he's not prepared to share the cooking load, maybe he can do the dishes, shopping, start him on the menu plan?

I can count on two hands the times my DH has cooked a meal :rolleyes: in 28 years of marriage :eek: (think sickness) so I know how fed up of the kitchen you feel especially when you work. But you get over it and get inspired again. Those times you feel in a rut, get a take-away. We deserve a treat sometimes.

madoldbat

Sola hi! it is hard gettin in the habit .At least you dont have the problem I had new OH worked night shifts I worked days he didnt like sandwiches for his main meal so good new wife cooked meals left them in fridge for mim to take to work.All went well for about 2 weeks (saw him at weekends but we were to busy to talk about food;) ) until on night I had the bright idea of making 2 meals 1 for OH next day dinner 2nd freez for following day:j save me time.Only thing was I was up late next day had to rush to work and forgot to leave note re dinners.Came home both dinners missing .Oh!bless I thought OH so hungry(he was /still is a bean pole) has eaten both so for next week made 2 dinners a day .Each night no dinners,make another 2.
Next weekend off OH sheepishly asked me if I would please only make him one dinner as he was struggling to eat 2 nice though they were.:rotfl: :rotfl:
I tell you communication improved that day ALL THAT WORK:mad:

Now to give some help (hopefully)
I know it is not the done thing but frozen veg is pretty good so use that,no prep.Grill meat or fish,use rice and pasta.Veg and pasta can cook while your getting changed from work grilled meat only takes mins.
Omlets are quick ,cheese and mushroom,bacon and cheese ect
Jacket potatoes with fillings and salad.
Hopefully OH will either get fed up of this and help out or he will be happy either way you spend most nights no more than 15/20 mins on food and only cook extra wonderful feasts when your in the mood.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

newlywed

I know how you feel!! OH used to help prepare the meal then suddenly just kept clear and refused to help at all - even making Bisto gravy or carving the meat was too much trouble when I'd done a full roast dinner!

Now I just get on with it. I cook meals I like, but he'll eat most things. But he does do the majority of the cleaning, dusting, cleaning the bathroom etc so it works out even.

Weekdays I usually do things like:

1. thin pork chops (10 mins to grill) with tinned potatoes, frozen veg and bisto!
2. Stir fry and prawns with soy sauce and honey as a sauce
3. Chilli (HM at a weekend and then frozen). Serve with wraps instead of cooking rice (less washing up).
4. Fish fillets - microwave and then heat frozen veg, potatoes or tinned beans.
5. Gammon steaks grilled (with frozen veg again).
6. Microwave sponge puddings.
7. Microwave flapjacks.

Weekends I cook, and sometimes on a Monday night if I feel like it as it's a quiet evening. We have OH's two kids stay all weekend and are also with us Tues eve and Tues night, Weds eve for a few hours, Thurs eve for a few hours and then Friday night and all weekend. So if I want time to myself at the weekend (we live in a flat), then I go and cook

trying-very-trying

I definitely know the feeling. I don't work, but I often can't be bothered cooking, but what is really easy is the slow cooker. Just bung the stuff in and leave it. I just fling frozen veggies in, if I don't have any fresh, add the meat, and a tin of soup or condensed soup, stock whatever.....when you come home from work, dinner's done!

FrankieM

I was going to mention the slow cooker as well...
Also, I'm making an assumption there are 2 of you, why don't you double cook and freeze half for the following week or when you can't be bothered...perhaps your DH wouldn't mind heating up a 'frozen meal' which would give you some time off....

Chollita

The cheeky beggar 'expects' a full meal? What is this, 1957?

I currently do all the cooking because my OH works much longer hours, but you must be working as much, if not more, than your OH.

He's a grown man, it's about time he got over his 'fear'. I'd be inclined to say if he wants to eat, he can share the cooking. Simple as that

Sola

There are 2 of us except when his kids come to stay for the weekend. I do freeze leftovers etc. and I've done batch-cooking in the past, but to be honest neither of us really likes reheated leftovers. I do have a slowcooker and it's great when I'm organised enough to use it.

I've had enough for the moment, so I'm running away to the sun for a few days. It's Fray Bentos tinned pies tonight, and I'll sort it all out when I get back next week. I've decided he's going to learn to cook whether he wants to or not, and if necessary I'll draw up a rota to keep it fair and inform him what he needs to do. I'm not putting up with laziness like this for another 30/40 years.

newlywed

Sola wrote: »

I've had enough for the moment, so I'm running away to the sun for a few days. It's Fray Bentos tinned pies tonight, and I'll sort it all out when I get back next week. I've decided he's going to learn to cook whether he wants to or not, and if necessary I'll draw up a rota to keep it fair and inform him what he needs to do. I'm not putting up with laziness like this for another 30/40 years.

Fair enough. You need to work out something that works for you. Grilling pork chops or gammon steaks doesn't take too much trouble so he should be able to manage that with some instructions on how to tell if it's cooked!

For us we did a deal that he did the cleaning and I did the cooking. Given a choice of cooking spag bol or cleaning the loo - I know which I'd pick

Sola

Chollita - I work considerably longer hours than him, and you've taken the words right out of my mouth. The problem is the blasted computer; he's involved with various committees and events to do with his hobbies, and once he's upstairs in the study that's it. In the meantime I've had to give up choir and evening classes because I'm just too tired to do it all (I'm a manager in a fairly high-powered job), so something has to change. I feel like I'm existing instead of really living. His mother can't understand why he's like this but I can; his first wife didn't work so everything was spotless and organised.

Anyway I feel like I'm moving away from the cooking question so I will ponder batch cooking again, make a list of easy recipes, allocate days when I will cook and he will cook, teach him how to use the slowcooker etc. It's going to take a major clearout of our tiny kitchen, so I'll put it into action next week. Meanwhile he can have a week's worth of fish and chips from up the road if he wants to eat.

Sola

newlywed wrote: »

For us we did a deal that he did the cleaning and I did the cooking. Given a choice of cooking spag bol or cleaning the loo - I know which I'd pick

We tried to do something similar - I would cook and he would wash-up. Problem is, he only washes up once a week, and I go on strike after the 3rd day because I can't move for manky catfood tins and plates. I'm just not prepared to live like that anymore; it's embarassing. I asked him 2 weeks ago to wash the kitchenfloor (God forbid that he should notice himself that it needs doing) and I'm still waiting; it'll be interesting to see if it's still like that next Tuesday. I'd pay a cleaner but he won't have a stranger in our house. I make him sound awful, don't I? He's actually a nice genial guy but he needs a boot up the !!!! sometimes.