Mental health care in England,advice/concerns.sister on section.

rainydaze

Hi all, I am posting under a different user name to usual as I'd rather stay anonymous.
My sister is currently on a mental health section .She is having quite severe paranoid deluded thoughts(my opinion not a medical diagnosis-still haven't had chance to speak to the Dr,not for want of trying).
I am really concerned for her safety,she is a danger to herself,and potentially others.She is extremely confused and angry,and frightened.I dont want to go into all the details now,as it could take hours...days! but She is not meant to leave the ward,but can just walk out if she chooses to-this really worries me, because
a.)as she is extremely vulnerable,I wait for the dreaded call that shes dead-sad but true.
b)who else,possibly in a worse state than her is also just roaming around NetherEdge/ the whole country
c) how much does it cost the police force in time and money on a national scale?
If she does leave and they happen to notice she's not there they call the police who have to go searching for her and return her to the ward.
She has had a few episodes of quite severe bizarre behaviour,for the last 10 years since our younger brother died suddenly.And a lot of the time in between she's been really stable.She has been having paranoid thoughts for last few weeks /months-not really sure as she hides it and pretends to be fine,and gets quite cross if you try to query what she says etc. She has been on medication, for the last few years,and was doing fairly o.k till spring,I think she stopped taking it sometime over spring/summer.She got taken in on a section on sept 5th,and has left twice the second time she was gone all night,and in the morning the police found her at her home and bust the door down to get her,which is now boarded up,this is likely to mean she wont get her lease renewed,endangering her future stability and security-she keeps the flat perfect,and has spent a lot of money when she was well, having it done up,and she spends the majority of her time at home, it is her sanctuary from the world.
I don't know much about the medication,or how safe/effective it is.I know they have been injecting her with medication,against her will,and she thinks they are trying to kill her.I dont know what other help care she is getting,if any.And whether the main reason for them medicating her is to help her rationalize her thoughts,or to keep her sedate and easier for them to be around her.
I have quite a few concerns,but will elaborate later,please if you have any experience in this either post here or send me a pm.
I am wondering how I can help her or find her better help,as from the conversations I have had with staff they seem pretty useless,and I am quite alarmed by this.Is there private health care for mental illness,should I be finding her the right counsel er/therapist/shrink? I don't know ?! I'm kind of at the end of my tether and just want to help her get her head back together,I don't understand her,and at times she is very hurtful,selfish and it's hard to tell if it is just her illness or if thats who she chooses to be.
I will add more later as I am really tired,but really I just want other peoples opinions on the mental health care in this unit,or England in general.Or suggestions of other therapies.

Savvy_Sue

I can really only send you hugs, and make a suggestion about her home - is it possible for someone else to arrange for the door to be repaired, and will she give her permission for someone to liaise with the landlord on her behalf to explain that she is really ill at the moment? Or will the hospital write a letter? (You said 'lease', but maybe you meant 'tenancy'?) If her landlord is a social landlord (council or Housing Association) I hope you would find them more sympathetic. The only difficulty might be that if your sister has been causing nuisance (clearly through no fault of her own) then they may have to take that into account.

And how's the rent being paid? The hospital should be able to help her apply for Housing Benefit, it's hard to see how it would help for her to lose her home while she is ill.

rainydaze

(Idid mean tenancy)She rents the flat through an estate agent,and it is privately owned.It is ideal for her as it is in a fairly good safe area,next door but one from my Mum and Dad.She has had some major falling outs with the neighbours,but to be fair its not her fault.The lady underneath her is a mardy old cow,and has been since before she ever moved in above her,any arguments against with her are deffinately two sided,shes very picky at the slightest thing,the neighbours on the otherside(who were really good friends of the family when we were children)have had an ongoing dispute with her over a simple apple tree that boarders the property,and have had various minor run ins but a few with the police involved,he really antagonises her on purpose because he thinks its funny.And on one occasion he was waving a hammer around whilst shouting at her.
When the police took her on this recent section it all kicked off outside her house.And they were apparantly there stood in the garden enjoying the show.I'm not saying mu sister is victimised and innocent,but she is ill,I dont understand her illness but she is not herself.
For the days before she was sectioned she was apparantly crawling around her flat,because "they" were filming her-not sure who "they" are but paranoid delusions of some sort.Any way I hadn't spoken to her for a couple of weeks as she's been really off with me and slammed the door in my face,so I'd thought I'd just steer clear a bit. I got a call from her screaming down the phone for me to put her children back in the car and bring them straight to her,as the devil was after their souls,and I didn't understand but to bring them straight to her.
(I should explain she has 2 children a boy aged 13 who lives with his Dad in the same village as me,15 miles from her.And a girl it was her 5th birthday when all this happened and she lives in Kent with her Dad.She usually has her son weekends when well,and sees her Daughter a few days every few weeks/months.She was only 15 when she had her son,and flew through her GCSEs heavily pregnant with him,and coped as a single mum great ,till the death of my brother,10 years ago this week)
Any way she hung up on me and didn't pick up when I tried to call her back.I wasn't with her kids in the car,I was at home with my kids.
next I heard she'd thrown herself at a car (stationary ,I think) tried to wrestle the keys off the driver,bitten them and ran into her flat with the keys.I think this was some random person,who she believed to be a spy watching her house.So obviously the police were called and she was dragged off kicking and screaming.
This is totaly unacceptable behaviour,I dont defend it.But she needs proper help.It worries me that not just her but all mental health sufferers dont get ongoing care,it seems she either gets put on a section-where she can walk out easily,and they sedate her,or shes left to fend for herself,with a useless cpn /social worker.
We-my Mum and I were wondering if her rent has been taken care of(she gets housing benefit)and who is liable for the cost of the door?She rang the hospital twice,spoke to two different people who both assured her it had been sorted.My sister rang Mum saying don't listen to them it hasn't please check with the estate agent.Mum checked with the estate agent,and it hadn't been payed so Mum had to go and pay it,which she cant afford.
I rang the hospital tonight and they said she'd gone again,and had been missing about an hour,they had previously agreed to let me know if she goes,as I am concerned she could attack my Mum,she unreasonably puts a lot of blame on her.In a way I can stop thinking about her constantly if i know shes in a safe place.Any way they were about to call the police,when they realised she was in the bathroom.Is this acceptable care,for someone in her situation?

Savvy_Sue

If your mum can get a letter from your sister authorising her to deal with her affairs, then your mum may be able to put in a claim for housing benefit - how is her rent usually paid? I suspect that it's the tenant who would be liable to pay for a new front door in this kind of case.

As it's a private landlord I am not sure how easy it will be to maintain the tenancy, but equally I am not sure what grounds there might be for terminating the tenancy. You and your mum really need to get specialist advice and support - SANE? Citizens Advice? SANE have a helpline and a discussion forum so you might do well to contact them.

madoldbat

Dear Rainydaze.
First big hug for you,second you obvoiusly love you sister very much and feel the need to help her:A .
Can I please suggest you contact the following charity they will help by supporting you and giving practical advice.
Mind tel:0845 7660163 or [EMAIL="info@mind.org.uk"]info@mind.org.uk[/EMAIL]
hope this helps.

ailuro2

Hi, my hugs and best wishes sent to you all!


Has her medication been changed recently (to make her think she could stop it?)

Someone I know who has schizophrenia ended up having a bad episode and in hospital because of it after his medication was changed.
He was having monthly injections which really helped, but the change really didn't agree with him. He went back to monthly injections and he is, I'm happy to say, staying very well. It is not something he will ever be rid of, but he has,gradually,come to accept he must live within some limitations, but I'm sure it's very hard to come to terms with, knowing what a wonderful,clever person he is.

I agree with trying to keep her home safe for her- the private landlord will likely be satisfied with her as a tenant because she keeps the house very nice, is al ong term tenant and the rent is guaranteed to be paid. Explain this episode was caused by a change of medication (no noeed to tell the full story) and that you will get the door repaired.He/she will likely be satisfied by that, if they have any sense.

Penny-Pincher!!

Was there any connection between her and your younger brothers death? Does she feel responsible for something? What have they diagnosed her as having? She sounds more manic (bi-polar) to me with what you have explained.

If you dont want to post you can PM me.

Chin Up.

PP
xx

Fran

ts_aly2000 wrote: »

If she wants to kill herself then let her get on with it if it makes her happy.

That's a dangerous flippant remark. The OP is already worried about this possibility.


rainydaze,

The Sheffield Mind website looks very good and their building that you can visit is probably less than a mile from the hospital (I know that area very well). You might want to visit it for yourself as they can help you get your head round what exactly is happening and as it's so close to the hospital they will be aware of procedures etc. too. The more you know about her condition the more you can help. I would keep the contact with her up as much as you can as when she has moments of clarity this will register and she will really need support being removed from her home. Take care of yourself too as these family things must be affecting you too - have a chat with Sheffield Mind for you and for your sister and family.

It must be devastating for her to see little of her children as family are so important having helped to cause her present state. The anniversary of your brother's death must be hard for all of you and I hope things improve.

john.xs

have you approached the hospital staff to express your concerns. if you do not feel you are being listened to then write a letter to hospital managers /complaints dept and i'm sure they will get back to you. do the hospital have a carers group that you can approach for some support.

rainydaze

She was in no way responsible for his death,he died very suddenly from menigitis C.
This is when she was 19,and her son was four.Her son has always been really good,and a pleasure to her,not a burden in any way,but when my brother died I think he really started to care for her rather than the other way round.
She has been up and down since the really.She doesn't work,but I think the medication shes on makes her feel that way,she does smoke too much weed-please dont slay her for this,and just right her off as",well its her own fault then",like my dad seems to of decided. at the time of smoking she is self medicating,and helps her feel better and normal,but long term I think shes too reliant and can mess with her head,encouraging the paranoid thoughts.
She has slept around a fair bit,due to her low self esteem.But she has cried rape too many times.Getting innocent people into trouble with the police.This is way out of order.And when it comes to situations like this,we do have fall outs,because I cant condone this.
Her relationship with her daughters father is complicated,they are still on and off,he is by no means an angel,and has been a major part in her downfall over the years.But he adores their daughter and she gets the very best of everything material,and lots of love.He has brain tumours which cant be operated on,which of course is another major worry.
She has also racked up some hefty debts,not sure of true figure,buying herself stuff to cheer up her life,doing up the flat,and loads of over extravagent gifts and expensive clothes for her kids,to make them happy.
It makes me so cross that someone with her problems and mental history and no way of ever paying back the money is allowed and even encouraged to rack up such debt,I think that is one of things that has tipped her over this time,she has run out of funds,and I guess it wont be long before bailiffs will be at her door.
So you can see shes had a fairly hard run of it,some of which has been self inflicted,but ,really since the age of 15 she has had it fairly hard.

God theres so much more I could put.

The thing is I would do anything to have my little bro back,but theres nothing in this world that can bring him back.But it feels like I've lost my sister too,but their is hope that she can find the right proffesional to help her though her thoughts,and problems,or a really effective medication,she will accept.Andmaybe I can help her sort herself out.But at the same time I'm constantly worried shes going to top herself,and if she did I could almost understand it,she really is going through sh*t.But I need to all I can to save her,I dont want her kids to have to have the grief of losing their mum for ever,they both adore her.

sethsgran

Not sure if I missed a bit but yes there is private mental health care available but it is expensive. When I was having problems I was admitted to a clinic in Harrogate the cost then was over £3000 a week without medication costs. That was 4 years ago. However my problems weren't as severe so I don't know if they admit patients with such a severe problem. My heart goes out to you and her, I can't imagine what you must be going through. Take care of yourself