after some advice

badmemory

Unfortunately, unpleasant things can happen around alcoholics, they don't mean them to, they just do. Even one who is an 'I love the whole world' sort type of drunk. I had a work colleague many years ago with this kind of alcoholic partner, she loved him and apart from being drunk most of the time, everything was just fine, no abuse of any kind. Then one day her teenage daughter got home from school to find him dead at the bottom of the stairs virtually naked. He'd fallen down the full flight.

So you really need to think about protecting your children because it wasn't the daughter who suffered as a result of what she saw which is what you would expect but the older teenage son who went completely off the rails. Neither of them needed that in their lives, your children don't either.

Fireflyaway

I can see you are doing this because you want to protect your kids and that's really brave. I would say move. What have you to lose? Moving doesn't mean you have to split up, but moving will protect your kids, show them how Strong you are and teach them its not acceptable to put up with abuse. Even if they don't say anything, living with an alcoholic could really leave them with long term mental scars. Kids who see abuse, violence etc are more likely to end up in similar relationships as adults too. Take the house and start living the life you deserve. By all means help your partner, but if he really loves you and the kids I think he will understand your choice.

chesky

When you move in - and I really hope you do - I know it takes great courage sometimes to strike out on your own, so make sure you're getting any benefit you're entitled to, such as housing benefit and council tax support. Citizens Advice will help.

cherry123_2

thank you everyone, i have been and viewed the house today and i am signing the tenancy on monday. house is nice just needs decorating ��. one let down there is no bath just what they call a wet room �� i have a bath to hide from kids for half an hour or so lol. oh and my crb check came back so i can start my new job soon with any luck as ill need to extra money. just to clarify they are not his children all 3 are mine from.my 1st relationship and no I DID NOT start drinking i had two small children to focus on at the time.

Red-Squirrel_2

That's great news, well done, shame about the bath but maybe you can put one in later if there's room?

Onwards and upwards. x

fabforty

Great news, I'm sure you'll be happy in your new home xxx

ognum

cherry123 wrote: »

thank you everyone, i have been and viewed the house today and i am signing the tenancy on monday. house is nice just needs decorating ��. one let down there is no bath just what they call a wet room �� i have a bath to hide from kids for half an hour or so lol. oh and my crb check came back so i can start my new job soon with any luck as ill need to extra money. just to clarify they are not his children all 3 are mine from.my 1st relationship and no I DID NOT start drinking i had two small children to focus on at the time.

Cherry, well done. There is no need for anyone hear to be judgemental or unpleasant. You have been through some difficult years but you have taken the chance to put yourself and your children first and be an independent strong woman.

Well done, I hope you have a happy home. Maybe just need to find some other way to relax than the bath. Perhaps create a peaceful bedroom space and read a good book.

Good luck

ERICS_MUM

Your children are far more important than your relationship with your partner (sorry if overly brutal). Your kids are at a critical age, not good to expose them to nastiness like that.

Good luck, you've got a tough road ahead but you'll manage, your children will get you through. Xx

ERICS_MUM

cherry123 wrote: »

thank you everyone, i have been and viewed the house today and i am signing the tenancy on monday. house is nice just needs decorating ��. one let down there is no bath just what they call a wet room �� i have a bath to hide from kids for half an hour or so lol. oh and my crb check came back so i can start my new job soon with any luck as ill need to extra money. just to clarify they are not his children all 3 are mine from.my 1st relationship and no I DID NOT start drinking i had two small children to focus on at the time.

Wow you sound so positive. Remember that if and when you hit any snags, everything can be sorted ! Very very best wishes for your new home, new job and new life !

BrassicWoman

that sounds great cherry, well done