In pursuit of happiness - the kebabmeister's debt diary!

donner_kebab

Hello peeps! I have decided to start my own debt diary/general ramblings thread to hopefully, get me on the straight and narrow and to finally pull my finger out and sort myself out once and for all! Will give you a little overview first...

One year ago today I was stuck in hospital, following a rather nasty encounter with my ex, who amongst other things, has subsequently left me in a huge mess money wise and had managed to have the ability, over 7 years, to turn me from a outgoing, happy girl into a shrinking violet with no friends and no family left to help me and to make matters worse, allow my beautiful 10 year old daughter witness the whole thing. Luckily for me, I am now, after several injunctions, finally rid of this looser and back with my family and am slowly building my life back together. It has hit me today that this horrible incident happened exactly a year ago and I should be celebrating being free and happy once more! I am in an awful mess money wise, due to my silly mistakes whereas I trusted this looser and took over a load of his debt and then allowed him to make loads more for me...what a silly girl I have been...but needless to say I have well and truly learned from my mistake and it is something that I won't ever do again and at least being relatively young, (about to turn 28), I have time to sort this out and get my life sorted once and for all...and finally start living again!

So this is me...the kebabmeister (but most people call me Donna!), single mum to the most amazing girl in the world and I am going to sort this...full throttle! A year is a long time, but am going to put this all in the past and start my life over! I have now met an amazing guy who I am lucky enough to have as my boyfriend and being with him makes me even more determined to sort it out! Me and the little mini-me live in a council property which unfortunately is an absolute hell hole! The whole house should be condemned..but that's another story! My long term aim is to get this debt sorted, look after mini-me (and our giant cat!) and try and find us somewhere 'proper' to live so that we can live happily ever after!

So, there we have it! Hope no-one minds another debt diary! This is gonna be mine! I hope, if I can write things down, I can get a better perspective of what is going on. I will have to sort out an soa and start to work out a budget over the next few days and get more of an idea of what I am spending etc as it seems that by mid month, I have rang out of money and end up putting everything on one of my many credit cards...that has sooooo gotta stop NOW!

Anyway, will be back soon peeps!
Peace out, luv the kebabmeister xxx

Karmacat

Hi Donna
Welcome to mse - and thank heavens you're out from under the pain of the last few years, except the debt, anyway. Glad to hear that you're going to post an soa, so we'll all see what we can do to help you.

donner_kebab

Thanks Karmacat!
Feeling really positive about things now...know I can do this...ready to tackle everything head on! I'm off to the land of nod now...ready to start day one of my life tomorrow
Take care, luv the kebabmeister xxx

donner_kebab

Well here's to day 1! Made a few small changes for today as know that doing my SOA is gonna take a few days to sort out all of the paperwork etc as I am not one for filing everything away tidily! For the first day ever, I have not been to the cafe next door to where I work! I usually go there each morning and buy a coffee and a flapjack! That sets me back about £2 a day, hadn't really thought about it moneywise, but that works out to a tenner a week! Oh dear, oh dear! Took a small amount of milk to work and made my own coffee...also took my own lunch too and managed to stay clear of the vending machine as I worked out I was spending probably about £1.50 a day in there! What with getting a drink and a snack...so i took my own lunch in today; made some healthy soup from some vegetables and took a few pieces of fruit too, so eating better which is a bonus! Went out for a run in my lunch hour so managed to stay clear of the shops! Tried a new tactic in that when I dropped off my bike after work and walked to pick my daughter up from after school club, I decided to leave my wallet at home! So no money wasted in the dam corner shop...you know how you can go in there for a pint of milk and come out with 4 bags full of junk!?! So my first ever 'no spend day'! Yay me! Cannot believe I have gone a whole day without spending anything! Been thinking about ways to try and make a few extra quid so am planning to get a few bits on ebay this week. I have way too many clothes...most of which I don't wear because nothing matches anything else! Need to take a serious look in the wardrobe and get rid of a few things...This applies to the whole house really; it looks like a bombs hit it most of the time so selling stuff will free up room and also help keep the place tidy. I have tried that flylady stuff but is way too hard so need to take baby steps to get it sorted. I am determined to live in a clutter free, clean home! Was speaking to a friend who has agreed to buy my record decks off me for £175! So rather than blowing that money like I normally would have done, I am gonna sort this SOA malarkey out and then pay it off one of my many credit cards! Right better go and semi tidy up 'cause my gorgeous boyf is cooking me dinner! Gosh if every day could be like today, this debt would be paid off in no time! But unfortunately that cannot be the case, but with small changes and actually thinking before I open my wallet and using my brain, I might be in with a chance!

Karmacat

Way to go! Thats brill! Its those little steps that add up to make huge savings and huge extra income. I just posted on the Olympic Challenge thread about my own little light bulb today, about exactly that. And you're right about flylady, by the way - if its cluttered, you can't keep it tidy and clean, its not really possible. So your first flylady step is ebaying! And using extra income to pay off debts. I'm really pleased for you. As you've guessed, it doesn't always go as well as today, but thats why you keep this thread going, don't start new ones here and there (unless they're really specific about something temporary) - when you're down, you can look back on posts like the one above, and realise what a difference you've made to your life. Good for you!

In_Search_Of_Me

Just to say well done for ditching the x-partner. Have you & your dtr had any councelling re the trauma? Great re the baby-steps; its all those little bits that make a difference so keep going & you'll be amazed how much you save! Making flapjacks is also yummy - much tastier & cheaper! Have you had a look at old style boards for recipe ideas etc?
Just wanted to say well done & welcome really & great that you are now both safe. I know how it feels and its worth more than anythig can buy! Big hugs for you both! (& current BF who sounds much better!)

elantan

donna i know you dont have many posts but did some get deleted? i ask this as i tend to read most of what you write (and find it interesting) and i honestly thought you had written more...imagine my shock when i realised you hadnt started a diary lol....you seem to have a very productive start i think i still have to conquer the nsd issue i can manage one occasionally but any more than that is too hard for me and here you are day 1 of your diary and one down already ...good luck for the future

LookingAhead

Hi there! Just wanted to welcome you to the DFW forum and also say a big
"W A H A Y ! ! " for being rid of the loser and having the brilliant attitude of moving forward - better & stronger and financially leaner soon too.

:T

Good luck to you and...I'm very intrigued by the size of the family cat!

Y'know if SouthernScouser is reading this I *bet* he would have phrased that very differently :eek:

beanielou

You can do it.
Take care.

donner_kebab

Hi guys!

Karmakat - Well done on your little light bulb! Will have to check out the challenge thread later! Def. agree about the flylady…would be so much easier to maintain a tidy house if there wasn’t so much junk in it! Hopefully, one day when it is all clean, I will be able to relax a bit more and get into a routine and not have that CHAOS thing they mention, where you Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome!!! I love reading other people’s diaries and threads and you are so right, that when you are down you can see what everyone else has achieved and then get right back on track! Well that’s what I am hoping anyway!!!

Fishface 69 – We haven’t had any counselling, my daughter seems to have handled things ever so well, think she is just glad he isn’t around anymore to make our lives hell. Nice ‘cause now she can do whatever she likes (within reason obviously!) and she doesn’t have him shouting at her all the time…feel so bad that she had to go through that in the first place…and I kept on thinking to myself 'what if someday she had a boyfriend who did the same...she would like it was normal and just out up with it', I couldn't have that...just get angry at myself for living like that for so long, but have to look to the future now. Plan to check out the OS board for food ideas as think that that is where a lot of the £££ is wasted.

Elantan - think I have spoken to you before on some of the threads! Yep, have decided to finally start a diary...just hope it helps keep me on the straight and narrow and actually use my brain before spending! Decided to start one after reading other peoples, like the infamous IA for example, she has achieved so much and hopefully I can do the same.

Looking ahead, beanielou - Thanks for that! Oh will have to get some pictures of the for mentioned cat on here soon! Seriously he is like the size of a small dog! Average cat should be about 3/4 kg...buzz is 8kg and he is only 2 years old and is still growing!

Will be back later to let you know what is going down in the world of the kebabmeister! Have to go and wake that mini-me up and get her outta bed…which is a very hard job! Take care everyone x

Karmacat

I'd love to see pix of the cat too - as you can tell from my online name, I *luuuuuurve* cats.