Why do we fall? To learn to pick ourselves back up. (£26K+ DEBT!)

Hiddenidenity

I totally see where you're coming from (I have been reading along but don't often reply)

I cut everything back to nothing when I first came to MSE and followed advice given. I literally spend on bills and the rest to debt. I was trying to feed a family on £10-15 a week. Guess what? I failed. I did a few more times after that too!

I'm back now still with debt. I'm 27 and been in debt since my 18th when I got my first shiny credit card and overdraft :cool:

This time I know its different, my debt goes down slower yes however I'm still living. I do spend on an odd coffee, I do take my kids to a relatives caravan as often as possible. Fair enough it's free to stay but I obviously spend more there than I do at home most of the time.

What I'm saying is we all choose what's important to us, be that smoking/a holiday/a day visit to an attraction or even plugging every penny into debt. We all are here for the same end goal but it doesn't mean we all have to take the same path leading to it.

I think from your first post to now you've made some great progress and for that you should be proud.

redofromstart

I like your budget rollover plan. I meant your discretionary spend priority by the way, not your critical spend.

Me, I try not to judge others. I'm hard enough on myself

MrJester

Thanks for your reply, Hidden.

Sounds like we've had somewhat similar experiences! Especially the shiny credit card and overdraft at 18

We make mistakes, we learn from them.

I agree that our paths are so entirely different and individual, we all get there in our own way and is never going to look like someone elses. So: advice, constructive criticism, feedback - it should all take into account the individual. Not trying to fit them under your own paradigm of debt management/solving.

MrJester

redofromstart wrote: »

Me, I try not to judge others. I'm hard enough on myself

Aren't we all

AleMrsT

Hi Jester.

I thought your response was very considered and well thought out. I am also on a DMP, I can't make over payments on it so I use the extra money to 'live'. As a couple my OH and I now have more debt than we've ever had. We bought furniture on interest free credit, bought a car last year, booked a holiday that we probably couldnt really afford. OH took out a 0% credit card to clear his high interest card, this came with a higher credit limit than his current card, so we purchased a new washing machine (the old one was a washer dryer, the dryer part had stopped working and it was on its last legs). We also bought a new PC, which we probably didnt need, but we use it every day as it is how we watch TV. Both those purchases were researched, both were offer products and the PC purchase went through topcashback. We then balance transferred to the 0% interest card, effectively meaning we had a new PC and washing machine on 0% interest finance for 42 months.

Now the original card is back up to the original balance as OH used it to pay for the car insurance and deposit for the new car (which was absolutely a necessary, but again research and planned, spend). So we now have double the debt we had before, over 2 cards instead of one.

I had (another) mini breakdown and panic when I added up the total of our COMBINED debts, but my personal debt has been decreasing month by month, slowly but surely on the DMP.

People may not agree with the choices and purchases we (i say we, but the credit card and car finance are all in OH's name only) have made, but whats done is done. We're paying it back, OH hasnt used the credit card months now, not since the car insurance renewal in July and a meal that we paid for before payday that will get refunded through work.

What I'm trying to say is, you do you. Your diary, your rules. As long as you arent skipping your DMP payment or taking on more debt to fund the trip or house move, then you're doing fine.

Hope you have a good time in Wales.

MrsT.

ChicaBonita

Hi MrJester, I've followed all your diaries but been a secret reader (stalker)

I see a lot of people on these boards get ripped to shreds from time to time - people think they're being "constructive", but for a lot of people on MSE we should live like nuns/monks and not do anything. At the end of the day, whatever people say to you or anyone else on here, you will do what works for you and that's ok. We're here for a good time not a long time, so make sure you get out of your money what you want! You've made mistakes but you are dealing with them, no one can ask for more than that!

I say enjoy Wales and make it count - you need to spend quality time with your GF and socialising and creating memories is always important. I get so sad when I see people on here always saying "No" to nights out and events because they want to make an overpayment, while their friends move on and they end up isolating themselves. Like everything it just needs a balance.

Anyway I better stop before I go OT. Maybe I'll comment again in the future :P Please don't stop posting, I enjoy reading!

Magpie100

MrJester,

I’ll respond to some of your points, but after that I will stop posting on this thread. I don’t want you to stop posting on it, and it’s your thread. But, earlier on in the thread you said this:

‘i always want to be challenged on my ideas, to find the holes, to make sure they aren't crazy or going to cause me more problems.’

So I have challenged you. I did what you asked. You can ignore any advice I post, of course – I can’t make you do anything. But if after inviting people to challenge you, it turns out that you don’t want people posting alternative points of view to yours, then I think that’s a shame.

I’ve been following this thread from the start, and the advice I have given you is different to what I would give to say someone in ill health, or with young children. You’re right that I can only go on what you choose to post – and as far as I can tell you are young, and healthy. That’s why I suggest you get a second job. Right now, you have time on your side, and time to recover from mistakes you have made in the past. You won’t always have that – in the future you might want to get married, have children, buy a house, travel the world. All or none of these might appeal to you, but this level of debt will have a significant impact on doing any of these things. In my view, not generating more income at this stage of your life IS going to cause you more problems. Maybe not now, but later down the line.

I didn’t miss the bit about not letting your creditors think you have excess cash. You could get a second job, and SAVE that money for things that you want to do (like trips to Wales), or until you have a lump sum to put towards your creditors. This is what AleMrsT has done. She uses the extra money to ‘live’ – and you could do that, too. You could even say ‘Magie100, once this DMP has been running for six months I’ll look at getting a second job to increase my income’. Even if you started looking for a second job this minute it would be a couple more months before you saw any extra income. So far, you’ve set up a DMP and made one payment to it. But at the same time you also believe you ‘deserve’ a trip away. My view is that no one ‘deserves’ anything – the world owes us nothing.

In answer to the question you pose: of course you have to live your life while dealing with debt. It has to be a balance. I don’t think you have to live like a nun while paying this debt off. But I think at the moment you are still in denial, and too much in the mindset of spending money on trips away and tech items. You talk about ‘throwing away’ 2–3 years of your life if you were tackle this head on and generate more income – but that time will pass anyway. Personally I’d rather do that than have to have to live on a tight budget on a DMP for the next however many years.

You don’t need to leave this thread, though – I will. I do wish you luck. And I do hope that having asked to be challenged you take on board the advice that is offered, even if you don’t agree with it.

M100

System

Hope you didn't take my posts as part of an onslaught of negativity, I have always had your best interests in mind! I hope you continue to post.... I like to try and be as supportive as possible of everyone's journeys. Alike how you mention I was once in a position where every single penny I had spare was going on debt which in turn was just leading to further debt (defeating the point entirely), I am fortunately in a position where I can make overpayments if I feel like it but some months I don't have to (but I do prefer to overall). I also recently went on a holiday but we just avoided the expensive extras and cut corners to afford to do so - sounds like you will do the same.

My comments regarding moving were only in case you didn't realise a DMP may affect your ability to move (I work in the world of finance and property and sometimes people truly have no idea on what certain things on a credit rating will do for them in the 'real world').

Hope you have a good weekend!

Reb2016

Hi Mr Jester,
I hope you don’t stop posting, I enjoy hearing how things are going for you. i’m also one of those who hasn’t cut back on some of the things that others would, such as Sky, I know I could make a huge saving towards my debt by not having it, but if I didn’t have some luxuries I would fall of the bandwagon so quickly. I do think it’s important to find the right debt free path for you.

Reb

System

Hey bud! Long time no update.

Hope you enjoyed Christmas and your trip away? Hopefully you've got some nice routine with your DMP and are feeling positive for this new year