Do you expect your kids to ask for food....

clairec79

The 6 year old asks (and sometimes he will decline what I'm willing to let him have 'no I don't want fruit I want a biscuit' - then you aren't actually hungry are you?)

fabforty

Thanks for the replies, it's interesting to hear other views. It's not something that I would expect him to do when he's older, just for the time being. It works for us for now, but I realise it's not for everyone.

Skintmama

Ultimately I think it is whatever works for you and your family. I didn't have any rules about asking but in practice my children did choose to check with me that they could have something to eat. They also respected what I had to say in response.

There were some instances of things being harvested from the garden without permission but this tended to be their friends, who were unused to things like strawberries, carrots, apples and peas being ripe for picking. This didn't annoy me and I didn't think they were rude. I wouldn't have liked them to feel guilty about it either.

Food is something that I don't like to make a big thing about. I believe that understanding your appetite, regulating your own intake and making healthy choices are important elements of having a good relationship with food.

That said, active teenagers, and boys in particular, are something else! I had to make sure that there was plenty of decent food for the preparation of ad hoc "snacks" to keep them going between meals and asked them to check that something wasn't required for a meal (half a roast chicken, for instance!). I remember my own mother putting a lock on the freezer to protect the burgers and sausages within from my brothers. She also padlocked the pantry, which contained the fridge. I think I got off lightly in comparison!

borkid

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I have to say, I wouldn't have left them out if they weren't to be eaten!

This chap also helped himself beer out of the fridge!

If I am given a box of chocs I don't see why I should have to hide them away. Most times I have chocs by the sofa to eat when I feel like it, I can just eat one and leave the rest as well. The coversation in the family goes " were you keeping them for something" " no just help yourself ".

borkid

Spendless wrote: »

I can't remember. But their height and lack of ability to make things (like a sandwich) would have restricted what they could reach/have. That can be a downside if you always expect them to ask you, they can get to an age where they are more than capable of getting something themselves, but continue to ask you to do it for them.

Not really you tell them to do it themselves but only use x,y,z

My brother was a pain and no consideration he'd drink all the milk if let anywhere near it and my mum had to hide it, it couldn't be left in the fridge safely. Money was very short so someone taking anything like that impacted on the rest of us.

jackieblack

We had a snack box/drawer that anyone could help themselves to if they were hungry without needing to ask, but if they ate everything in the first few days it stayed empty until the next shop.
If they wanted anything else they had to ask/check in case it was earmarked for a particular meal/day/recipe.
Also, we were on a pretty tight budget so just helping themselves to anything they fancied might have meant empty cupboards by the end of the week!

pogofish

Nope - they should beg obsequiously!

Red-Squirrel_2

borkid wrote: »

This chap also helped himself beer out of the fridge!

If I am given a box of chocs I don't see why I should have to hide them away. Most times I have chocs by the sofa to eat when I feel like it, I can just eat one and leave the rest as well. The coversation in the family goes " were you keeping them for something" " no just help yourself ".

I don't think you have to hide them, just put them away if you have guests or people in the house who you don't want to eat them.

I think, generally, food that is left out is generally considered to be offered to eat. I often have a bowl of grapes out, I wouldn't complain if someone had one! A friend of mine always has a bowl of dried fruit and nuts out for guests to nibble.

FBaby

I think mine asked until they were about 8, that is until I start to say to them to help themselves and they didn't need to ask me.

The problem came when they started secondary school and were alone at home after school and they took the 'not asking' to be open-ended. Thankfully the novelty wore off and after putting on some weight, they both had lost it all again when they were 14.

PasturesNew

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I have to say, I wouldn't have left them out if they weren't to be eaten!

You're the sort of person ex-lax was made for .... you'd get a special invite back to mine ... and I'd make sure there were plenty for you to "steal".... and plenty of opportunity for you to do so...

If it's not yours, you shouldn't ever take something!