Do you expect your kids to ask for food....

fabforty

I had an interesting conversation with a couple of other mums on a play date last week, so I really just wanted to gauge opinions.
DS is 6, and normal height and weight for his age. At his age, I expect him to ask first if he wants something to eat, even healthy foods such as fruit or raisins. The answer is usually 'yes' (although by no means always) but I don't want him to just graze and snack whenever the mood takes him. I also want to know what he has eaten. Last week during a play date, he asked if he could have an apple - his friends' mum was really taken aback by the idea that a child has to ask for food in his own home! As long as it isn't sweets or chocolate then her son (who is also an average height and weight) is free to help himself to things like cereal, bread and fruit. It left me feeling pretty draconian I just wondered what other parents do?

MissBessie

My kids are 33, 29 and 20 so maybe my ideas are bit old fashioned but they always had to ask for food. As a parent, it's surely part of your job to know what they are eating? Not only that but I think it's good manners

happyandcontented

Mine are older now, but aside from things/ingredients which were clearly earmarked for meals they could help themselves to fruit, cereal or snacks. Thinking back, they probably did usually ask, but I certainly didn't expect it. However, once they had had "their" share they knew the rest was for other family members.

maman

You're not draconian, you're sensible and quite normal in my book.

At the age of 6 it's partly about monitoring healthy eating but at any age it's also about good manners.

When he's a little older you could introduce some house rules about what he can help himself too and when but it's not simple.

My DH still asks if it's OK to eat certain things in case they're meal ingredients and checks times so he doesn't snack before a meal.

My DD who is grown up and long left home would always ask before helping herself to food.

goodwithsaving

I always had to ask for food, and my nephews etc have to do the same. If anything, it teaches them manners. It's a good thing to do.

Pay_me

Not got kids myself but mind my niece and nephew a lot (6 and 4 years old).

They both always ask for proper food if they are hungry, They will say I'm hungry when is dinner time? or can we have dinner time now? etc.

They will just help themselves to things like fruit and cereal and so on without asking. I keep the fruit bowl in easy access same for vegetable snacks like carrot stickers and so on. That is also the rule my sister runs in her house and the kids abide by it. Even at 4 and 6 years old they know the rules I have never had an incident were they have eaten something they shouldn't without asking first.

System

My kids always had to ask for food. Not that i was stingy but its no good them filling themselves up just before a meal is served.

PasturesNew

You should have looked at them in all innocence and asked ".... so how much do you know to dock them from their pocket money if you don't know they've had it??" as if that's perfectly normal

peachyprice

Mine always asked when they were young, they stopped when they hit their teens and were sensible enough to pace their appetites and take meal times into account.

My eldest still at home rarely eats outside of mealtimes, my youngest grazes throughout the day and quite often doesn't eat a 'meal'.

GwylimT

Ours aren't required to ask for food, we have clocks so they know if it is too close to a meal time to have a snack.

WibblyGirly

I think I had to ask until I was a teenager then I sorta just helped myself (Not that there was ever anything exciting to eat!)