stepson..girlfriend..2 kids one on the way...we're all sucked into a nightmare !

Mojisola

Deleted_User wrote: »

Gf has been in and out of care throughout her life so has had a difficult upbringing.

She sits indoors all day and hardly ever goes out with the kids even tho there's a creche down the road.

We've just been told that she's pregnant again

Is there a HomeStart group near them -
https://www.home-start.org.uk/find-your-nearest-home-start

The young mother hasn't had a family upbringing herself so it will be difficult for her to know what to do. A volunteer from HomeStart could help her a lot - and advice from someone not emotionally connected with the family will be easier to take.

System

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Um...maybe some contraception lessons for them as well?

You beat me to it! Pregnant at 16, again at 18 and yet again now. Unless she is becoming pregnant intentionally?

Mojisola

Deleted_User wrote: »

He's got a decent job earning £320 a week and she gets benefits.

avogadro wrote: »

Pregnant at 16, again at 18 and yet again now. Unless she is becoming pregnant intentionally?

Do they realise that there is a cap of two children on some benefits?

When you say she is getting benefits, do the DWP know that they are a couple - if she is claiming as a single parent, they will catch up with her.

System

chesky wrote: »

Do they think adoption is an easier route than termination? Or do they have religious objections?

She is 21 weeks and counting. Possibly still within the law (just), but abortion on demand is better much earlier on in the pregnancy. The fact that she's left it this late suggests she wants to go ahead and give birth to the baby. Adoption, however, may not be the easy option they seem to think it will be.

[Deleted User]

punk84 wrote: »

your post makes no sense she's. shes 18 but has a 16 year old?

She was 16 when she had her first !

Malthusian

avogadro wrote: »

You beat me to it! Pregnant at 16, again at 18 and yet again now. Unless she is becoming pregnant intentionally?

Of course she's becoming pregnant intentionally. No-one is that unlucky with holes in the condom.

badmemory

She sounds depressed to me. Maybe adoption would be best, as keeping a third child which is unwanted could actually reduce the 'quality of life' of the two existing children. If you are really against an adoption perhaps you could take (obviously with their agreement) parental responsibility yourself.

[Deleted User]

Thanks all...your advice is welcome and is absorbed. We enjoy having the kids....and one more wouldn't be a problem...but yes they need to grow up. Whatever decision she (they) makes we'll support emotionally but no more handouts. Thanks again

badmemory

Malthusian wrote: »

Of course she's becoming pregnant intentionally. No-one is that unlucky with holes in the condom.

Maybe she isn't having any choice! Some people when under the influence can be quite singleminded. Please note I did not specify gender. Also being brought up in care can encourage some less than optimum behaviours.

IAmWales

Malthusian wrote: »

Of course she's becoming pregnant intentionally. No-one is that unlucky with holes in the condom.

They are becoming pregnant intentionally.

Two people having sex without taking precautions. Two people entirely incapable of looking after themselves let alone children.