getting married on holiday

Carmk2008

Looking to see if anyone has done similar and how it went. We are going to Crete in sept we are going to get married when there it will just be us and our three kids and we will get a couple witnesses over there. Do you think this is selfish as we both agree about not being able to justify thousands on one day. We will throw a small party when we come back for family and friends. I am not that close to my family but my partner is so not sure how they will take it.

bargainbetty

Doing it on holiday is not the issue here - the issue is doing it without your family and close friends present.

It is your choice and your day. If the happy couple are happy, then frankly, it's not for others to complain, but there might be some hurt feelings if the father/brother of bride doesn't give her away or somesuch thing. Can your partner deal with the hurt feelings?


If not, remember you don't have to spend thousands on a day - you can book a registry office/venue and pretend it's for some other kind of party. Make it a surprise then go on holiday afterwards. Do it your way and listen to no one who starts a sentence with 'But a proper wedding must have....' etc. A proper wedding requires two lines to be spoken by each person, and nothing more.

Best wishes

onomatopoeia99

My brother did it, married in Italy. About 30 friends and family came too, some of us treated it as a holiday and stayed for a week around the wedding. It's where my love of the Italian culture, language and people came from. He even had some people from his workplace (in the US, though he works from home in the UK for the last 10 years) fly over.

Just for clarity, all the guests paid their own way, aside from the wedding / reception food and drink.

Carmk2008

My brother done the low key registrar

Carmk2008

My brother done the low key registry office and small ceremony and he was 3k+. I said to her about her family not being happy and she is sure she is fine Im not that fussed about mine as the only things important to me are my kids and partner.

Loanranger

You need to check that a wedding in a foreign country constitutes a legal marriage here. Otherwise you will need to marry here in a register office beforehand. A friend wanted to marry in Thailand and she discovered that the wedding there was not legal so got married quietly here first.
Why not just get married here quietly and not be bothered about anyone but yourself and your partner and your children?
There is no rule that says you have to have a big silly expensive wedding ceremony. It's the lifetime of a marriage afterwards that is important not that one day.

Carmk2008

Yes we thought of this and the legalities will need to be done here. I totally agree with you on the last part as my partners sister must've spent at least 15k on their day although they had help from her mum and dad, now i dont begrudge them that as it was a lovely day and im sure they have lots of great memories but the very thought of spending that kind of money on a single day does nothing for me I would rather put that away to help my kids in the future. This may sound ungrateful but I assure you its not but I'm not interested in her parents helping either which they gladly would but I would rather they enjoyed the money they worked hard for themselves, we have worked hard for everything we have so we know the value of money and both of us would rather not waste money on a big day. I know we are going abroad but that is the once a year family holiday, will cost £70 to get married, the only thing that I won't scrimp on is the wedding bands as we are making a lifetime commitment and these will be a symbol of it.

Sorry if that sounds like a rant, its not its just that I feel quite strongly about this as you here about all these divorces and some of them spent stupid money on their weddings.

takman

Carmk2008 wrote: »

Yes we thought of this and the legalities will need to be done here. I totally agree with you on the last part as my partners sister must've spent at least 15k on their day although they had help from her mum and dad, now i dont begrudge them that as it was a lovely day and im sure they have lots of great memories but the very thought of spending that kind of money on a single day does nothing for me I would rather put that away to help my kids in the future. This may sound ungrateful but I assure you its not but I'm not interested in her parents helping either which they gladly would but I would rather they enjoyed the money they worked hard for themselves, we have worked hard for everything we have so we know the value of money and both of us would rather not waste money on a big day. I know we are going abroad but that is the once a year family holiday, will cost £70 to get married, the only thing that I won't scrimp on is the wedding bands as we are making a lifetime commitment and these will be a symbol of it.

Sorry if that sounds like a rant, its not its just that I feel quite strongly about this as you here about all these divorces and some of them spent stupid money on their weddings.

So your not getting married abroad your actually getting married here in a registry office!.

I also think people spend far too much money on getting married when it's basically just a big party, it's even worse when people borrow money to pay for a wedding.
It's your wedding so you can do it however you want and nobody has a right to complain. If your concerned about your and your partners parents "missing out" then just invite them to the registry office with you.

Any ceremonies you choose to do in Crete will be meaningless as they have no legal standing so i wouldn't worry about it being selfish.

TonyMMM

Carmk2008 wrote: »

Yes we thought of this and the legalities will need to be done here.

If you comply with the law in Crete and the wedding is valid there, then it is valid in the UK.

If not - then whatever ceremony you choose to go through in Crete, you are getting married in the UK.

Spendless

Yes, we did it. We were already going on holiday with my parents, sis and bil and we were going to go married the year after, with a wedding planned around the baby I was expecting. Then we lost the baby in some tragic circs and no longer wanted the wedding date that we'd planned with him in mind. Instead we thought about getting married whilst we were on hol. We put it to my IL's and my MIL said she would come as she'd visit her sisters who lived in a neighbouring country and just take a small flight to where we'd marry for a night or two. FIL said he didn't mind. So we booked the wedding and a couple of months beforehand MIL said she wasn't going and she intended visiting her sister a few months later instead (as it happens, she didn't do that either). SIL then started 'sulking' about it and even now 18 years on, can moan that our wedding caused loads of trouble (I bite my tongue).

We did have a church blessing and a day and evening reception for all family and friends on our return.

Go for it, but be prepared for some backlash from it, but you can get hassle from any wedding and if we'd married at home I'm sure there'd have been some issues.

maman

This might help:
https://www.gov.uk/marriage-abroad


That being said, I am a bit confused. If you plan to have the 'legalities done here', does that mean you'll get married in a registry office before you go? If that's the case then why not ask your immediate family to attend. It doesn't need to be a big party unless you want one.