My date stood me up and her phone just goes to voicemail

JJG

trailingspouse wrote: »

You realise there may be something about you that she just can't stand? That she managed to be civil through the first date but really isn't interested?

Some of these posts sound very entitled - 'you deserve better', 'kind of rude', 'not worth the effort'. Maybe she was thinking exactly the same about you.

She doesn't have to text, she doesn't have to explain. She doesn't owe you anything.

Why would you arrange/agree to a second date of that is the case? That would be extremely rude and arrogant thing to do if you had no intention of turning up.

PeacefulWaters

trailingspouse wrote: »

You realise there may be something about you that she just can't stand? That she managed to be civil through the first date but really isn't interested?

Some of these posts sound very entitled - 'you deserve better', 'kind of rude', 'not worth the effort'. Maybe she was thinking exactly the same about you.

She doesn't have to text, she doesn't have to explain. She doesn't owe you anything.

Behave yourself!

NCC-1701

Maybe she had an insight into the offensive PM's the OP has sent? He does seem to be a bit of Jekyll and Hyde character and by his own admission has mental health issues?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

JJG wrote: »

Why would you arrange/agree to a second date of that is the case? That would be extremely rude and arrogant thing to do if you had no intention of turning up.

Well, sometimes people agree to things because they aren't great at saying no/don't want to hurt the other person's feelings/feel awkward. Maybe she felt guilty about saying no to a second date with a man who had just recovered from cancer treatment, or various bits of information from conversation had made her stop and think it wouldn't be a good idea after all once she got home?


Vaguely similar is when asked for a phone number and you feel slightly uncomfortable because of the situation - if you think that it would be a bad idea to give it out, but the reaction to refusal might be a problem, a fake number/an old number is given instead, or the caller is blocked.


I regretted not doing that once with a random at a gig, as after I'd turned down a dinner invite, then turned down a walk to a cab office, then turned down a walk to a bus stop, I was feeling a bit anxious about telling them to eff off when I was by myself in what was a fairly isolated area to come back home from, so I was daft enough to give them my phone number, thinking I'd be able to block the caller - but then found out my new phone didn't allow blocks. I assumed he'd not bother again after it went to voicemail and I didn't reply to a couple of texts, as sometimes giving people that are a bit insistent and creepy a reply just encourages them even more.

The last message saying 'I can't believe you'd do this to me' came through precisely a year later. And I hadn't even gone on a single date with him - if I'd done the internet dating thing, I'd have only found out how uneasy he made me once I was there, and I suspect I would have agreed to a second date just to get away without difficulty.


Just as well I'm not in the market anymore, really.

Robisere

OP I may be wrong, but you might be feeling more vulnerable about this due to your health problems at the moment. Your date, being a nurse and knowing about those problems, should have had the empathy required to understand that and contact you if she did not intend to keep the date, or at least let you know if there was a good reason not to keep it.

As none of that happened, I would let it go and move on. Not every woman is like that.

yvonne13_2

OP did you get a responce?

Natcault

This reminds me of a time I totally blew a guy off cos I slept off n lost track of time
It was crazy cos I just set out to watch cable n pass time (so I don't sleep off n forget)... When I woke up I totally forgot I had a date n went on as if nothing had happened, I only remembered 2 days later.... It was terrible, I didn't know if to call him or not

Dreamnine

Nope - no reply to my voicemail; I think I'll just leave it at that.

Dreamnine

NCC-1701 wrote: »

Maybe she had an insight into the offensive PM's the OP has sent? He does seem to be a bit of Jekyll and Hyde character and by his own admission has mental health issues?

Which PMs, and to whom? I no longer discuss any mental health issues beyond feeling tired or lazy as it's counter-productive.

And I may have mental health issues but I bet I earn 10 times what you do.

Ash_Mc

Dreamnine wrote: »

And I may have mental health issues but I bet I earn 10 times what you do.

Wow... never had you down as this kind of guy.

Hope you have fun replying to this post that cost me ten times less to send than yours did.