Unreasonable to ask for more child support?

gycraig_2

So you expect your ex partner to up his child maintenance so you can buy yourself a house ?.

He is giving you more than a lot of families live on. If you want to buy a house work harder / get a better job it's child support not ex partner maintenance

CRANKY40

So....does he have to take your daughter back to where he lives? Would it be possible for him to buy a flat close to where you live so he could have your daughter to stay somewhere near to where appropriate medical treatment and her other parent was available? I think that might be a more useful way to use funds just now.

I can understand why you wouldn't want the child to be away from you just now, but once the PDA is repaired, things should gradually become easier in respect of her spending time with both of you.

I wouldn't personally go for more csm as things between you now seem quite amicable apart from the overnight stay issue. I'd be trying to avoid turning the whole thing into a war zone - instead you could be thinking of things that he could do to enrich your daughter's life. Not all things that make a difference cost money.

Sambella

We won't know what you earn but with a disabled child child tax credit awards are higher.

Higher still if you get DLA

As an example.. if you earned £30k, no DLA for the child you'd get £124.74 every 4 weeks. And 70% of your childcare costs met.

You may indeed get more maintenance if you go to court but you could well end up with amounts that is more than the actual costs of the child. I don't think that it is right the HE bears the brunt of all child costs when you should contribute too.

As for him taking her abroad etc it is unlikely to happen as she is under two years old. He may not even be allowed overnight access until she reaches this age. Some will say this is unfair especially if the NRP is fully capable by t that's our laws!

When she is over two he will be allowed access and up to half of all school holidays but this may well be dependant on the he care she needs.

Outside of court however you can agree things differently.

If you are able to work full time and the child attend childcare then it does seem as if she can be cared for by others adequately.

The suggestion of the NRP having her if he stayed closer to home is a good one.

sulphate

I disagree with most of these posts. The purpose of child support is to ensure the child's financial situation is not changed by the break up, not necessarily to provide 50% of the essentials. If you were still together, I bet you would own your own house together for example (which does not just benefit YOU unlike some posters are implying, it provides more stability for the child - financially and otherwise).

Are you quite sure of his income?

Yes, £1200 a month is a lot of CM to pay but it is only 3% of his monthly income. So I think you are justified to ask for an increase. But I agree that you should probably wait until after the access arrangements are agreed.

KxMx

I understand where you are coming from Suplhate, but OP as a single person can't expect the same lifestyle as someone in a couple. She admits the CM exceeds her daughter's needs as things stand.

Maybe she could look at where she is allocating CM and her own budgets, and make adjustments as necessary to enable her to save for a property, as opposed to asking ex for more.

foolofbeans

I'm surprised at the number of posters who assume OP is a money-grabber because she is querying whether to claim the LEGAL prescribed amount calculated to reflect a fair contribution from an absent parent.
Just because OP has a job and pays her own way does that mean the father should pay less? What if two parents had high incomes - would you expect the PWC to ask less of the other parent because they did not need the money? It is fair that a parent contributes to their child in a ratio according to their income and the father is currently not doing this.
That said I do agree that asking for more money may change the dynamics of the parents relationship and it may be better to ask the father to pay for something specific such as a certain activity or therapy.
I'm also surprised that so many think it would be ok for the mother to spend her limited holiday from work in another country to make life easier for the father. Who else does that? I have met halfway with the children when the father lived quite a distance away but expecting me to spend a week waiting around and paying for accommodation so the father can see his child seems preposterous when he has the means to pay for his accommodation and I assume can arrange dates that he could travel here and stay close to the child. This would have the added benefit of keeping the child in their known environment which would make for a more relaxed stay with the dad for all concerned.

silvercar

As the child becomes older/ healthier, more time will be spent with the father. At which point the difference in lifestyles will be very apparent. I see no reason why the OP shouldn't claim the full child support alllowed to raise this child. If it improves the lifestyle of the mother, then it is still far less than the lifestyle the mother would have had if she had had a long term relationship with the father.

Weewdy

My personal oinion is that dad pays enough to you, how do you know he is not already saving more money for his daughter? Why should he help to fund your house? I would imagine since he wants to be an active father that he will have put in place savings and investments for his daughter. Did you know how much this man made before your very brief relationship?

Let the man be a dad and see his daughter when he wants, you are using her illness as an excuse but want to take what you can from him.

OldMotherTucker

silvercar wrote: »

As the child becomes older/ healthier, more time will be spent with the father. At which point the difference in lifestyles will be very apparent. I see no reason why the OP shouldn't claim the full child support alllowed to raise this child. If it improves the lifestyle of the mother, then it is still far less than the lifestyle the mother would have had if she had had a long term relationship with the father.

Why should that make a difference?

The situation could be reversed before the child is very much older if the father can no longer compete. His income is not guaranteed and he could face a significant change in his lifestyle. Whilst it might affect how much he can provide for his daughter, it won't affect how much he loves and cares for her - which is far more important than money in the bank.

OP - Money is not the biggest issue here - you need to work with your ex to ensure that her emotional needs are met. Together, you can both provide a stable future for her.

badmemory

OP have you actually asked her doctors if she would be permitted to fly. And if not, then when they think she may be permitted to fly, roughly how long after her op and her recovery from that. I would certainly shelve any CM questions until this can be sorted as any whiff of "if I pay her more she will let me see more of my child" would not bode well for any future issues that may crop up.