Unreasonable to ask for more child support?

[Deleted User]

Just seems wrong to ask for more tbh, he sounds like a great dad to his child. Typical lawyers just want you to chase so they can earn more as well.

meer53

If you weren't thinking about this before speaking to the solicitor, I think it's unreasonable.

beautiful_ravens

I work full-time myself so the child support he gives me combined with my wage gives me a lot more financial freedom than I would otherwise have. I know I would be entitled to a higher amount I just don't know if I should claim it even though I could? He is a good father and I know if she needed anything, he would be there. But the other part of me feels like it could do so much good for both me and my daughter. Currently im spending £500 a month on childcare and over £900 on rent (which is all my salary gone) with additional money I could hopefully get on to the property ladder, create savings for my daughter to get through uni and just afford a better life for her.

I think you get plenty of money, and now is probably not the time to ask for more anyway.
That is a huge amount of child support from someone you had a 'brief relationship' with, who is also taking an interest etc.
I know its probably tempting to get yourself a bit further up the ladders with his money, but unwise and unfair to plan your future around his money - that is something you could have done if you were still together.
I get £40 a week from my ex for my 3 kids. HTH

Oakdene

topaz94 wrote: »

I work full-time myself so the child support he gives me combined with my wage gives me a lot more financial freedom than I would otherwise have. I know I would be entitled to a higher amount I just don't know if I should claim it even though I could? He is a good father and I know if she needed anything, he would be there. But the other part of me feels like it could do so much good for both me and my daughter. Currently im spending £500 a month on childcare and over £900 on rent (which is all my salary gone) with additional money I could hopefully get on to the property ladder, create savings for my daughter to get through uni and just afford a better life for her.

If you are a single with childcare costs, can you apply for help with these costs via tax credits?

Aced2016

Wow !!!

£300 a week for one child ! You should count yourself lucky you get that much. There is plenty there to keep her clothes nicely, fed, toys and taken on holiday. Why should you have any more ?? Because let's face it the rest of the money is more so for you ! You probably won't admit that though.

I cannot understand why so many woman feel they are entitled to absurd amounts of money!! Regardless of how much he earns, as long as he provides a sensible amount for his daughter then it should end there. You will also ha w your wage, child benefit and most likely tax credits as they don't take maintenance into account. You are sitting very pretty indeed financially. My advice would be get a bit of pride, stop being greedy !!! Think how lucky you are and live well with the budget you have !

And remember standing on your own two feet is best, she won't be a child forever and you income will hugely decrease !!

pmlindyloo

I am going to offer a different point of view if you don't mind.

First of all, visiting the child's father. I can perfectly understand your feelings particularly since the child is only one year old and requires 24 hr oxygen (have I got that right?)

I am wondering if there is a compromise here? Perhaps dad is not aware of his child's medical needs and the care she would need during the week? Could you take your daughter to visit her father and arrange it so he has some time with her on his own but with you nearby? Would he pay for you to stay in an hotel to make this possible? Maybe a solution.....

As regards the money, you are working full time and your daughter is in child care. You are doing a great job bringing up your daughter and providing for her. This cannot be easy given the rent and child care fees. I do not think it would be a bad thing to ask for more child support. This might give you the opportunity to work less, get on the housing ladder and spend more time with your daughter.

In theory, the father is having none of the difficulties making ends meet, attending hospital appointments, juggling work and child care.

He has a very high salary and I personally see no reason why he shouldn't make both your lives more comfortable. After all, a less stressed mum would benefit his daughter greatly.

At the very least I think he should be creating a trust fund for his daughter for her future.

It takes two to make a child and with that goes the responsibility of raising that child. Your ex has the financial means to do so and I can see no reason why he shouldn't shoulder that responsibility. Not every father is in the financial position to do so but he is.

Having said that he should also be allowed to see his child as much as possible so I do think you need to make sure that this happens even if it means your accompanying your child on holidays abroad.

Mojisola

topaz94 wrote: »

I have a one year old daughter from a brief relationship with my ex partner who is a professional athlete.

I have to give it to him that ever since our daughter was born, he has been an amazing father to her.

We are admitted to hospital at least once a month.

Due to this, I have said she is not allowed to go to his house abroad because I do not want her to get sick and be that far away from me or in a foreign hospitals with doctors that may not know or understand her health conditions.

Like others, I certainly wouldn't try to get more CM from him.

Sort out the visiting problem first. I can understand why the idea makes you anxious but he is her father and a good one.

How would the 'one week a month' visits work - would he come and collect her and bring her home?

Could you ask for a one-off trip where you take her and stay in a hotel nearby while she spends the week with him so you can get familiar with the area. Presumably any health care would be private - could you meet up with whoever would handle her healthcare if there was an emergency and give them detailed information about her health.

If that's too big a step, would he be willing to rent somewhere near you and have his daughter for a week so that you can be on hand if there is a medical emergency.

I would also be looking for a new solicitor who was more willing to find a compromise with a good parent than stir up trouble.

Oakdene

pmlindyloo wrote: »

I am going to offer a different point of view if you don't mind.

First of all, visiting the child's father. I can perfectly understand your feelings particularly since the child is only one year old and requires 24 hr oxygen (have I got that right?)

I am wondering if there is a compromise here? Perhaps dad is not aware of his child's medical needs and the care she would need during the week? Could you take your daughter to visit her father and arrange it so he has some time with her on his own but with you nearby? Would he pay for you to stay in an hotel to make this possible? Maybe a solution.....Why should a father who clearly is willing to move heaven & earth (and is paying £300 a week :eek: maintenance) have to put the mother up in a hotel? Surely if that compromised was reached the mother could pay for the hotel room...

As regards the money, you are working full time and your daughter is in child care. You are doing a great job bringing up your daughter and providing for her. This cannot be easy given the rent and child care fees. I do not think it would be a bad thing to ask for more child support. This might give you the opportunity to work less, get on the housing ladder and spend more time with your daughter. Sorry but additional child maintenance should not be viewed as an alternative to working full time hours.

In theory, the father is having none of the difficulties making ends meet, attending hospital appointments, juggling work and child care.

He has a very high salary and I personally see no reason why he shouldn't make both your lives more comfortable. After all, a less stressed mum would benefit his daughter greatly. He has no reason or duty to provide a more comfortable life for the OP, granted yes he has a duty to help contribute to the raising of the child but at the same time so does the mother/OP & he is currently paying £1200 per month for this. I raise my 2 children (granted they are not disabled or have health issues), work full time & run a household for just over £1200 per month,

At the very least I think he should be creating a trust fund for his daughter for her future.

It takes two to make a child and with that goes the responsibility of raising that child. Your ex has the financial means to do so and I can see no reason why he shouldn't shoulder that responsibility. Not every father is in the financial position to do so but he is.

Having said that he should also be allowed to see his child as much as possible so I do think you need to make sure that this happens even if it means your accompanying your child on holidays abroad.

Thoughts in red

OP has already stated there is left over from the amount that is received from the father & the costs of raising the child so why on earth should more money be claimed?

KxMx

I think from your own post, the CM you get now meets & exceeds your daughter's needs.

It's really not fair to expect your ex to fund getting you on the housing ladder, for example.

Therefore I would not support you asking ex for more.

Two suggestions though:
Ask your ex if he would be willing to set up a trust fund for DD, that boosts her future, is for her benefit, and maybe takes some financial strain off you in terms of saving for her future.

Should you need to cut your work hours due to daughter's health getting worse (and I really hope that doesn't happen) then perhaps more CM would be justified.

But as things stand, I don't think you are justified in asking for more.

LannieDuck

KxMx wrote: »

Ask your ex if he would be willing to set up a trust fund for DD, that boosts her future, is for her benefit, and maybe takes some financial strain off you in terms of saving for her future.

I was going to suggest this too.

I hope your relationship with your Ex remains civil, and he remains committed to his daughter. It sounds promising at the moment :T However, this isn't always the case (these stories sometimes take an unexpected turn when an ex starts a new family, or when the PWC finds a new partner). There's no guarantee that his promise to pay for school / university fees will still be there when your daughter gets to the right age.

Could your solicitor find a way to point out that child maintenance would ordinarily be higher at his level of income, that you aren't seeking to 'feather your nest' at his expense, but that you'd like to request at additional sum be put into a trust fund for your daughter to access when she turns 18 for the purpose of uni fees?