Struggling to cope with my boyfriend's feelings for his ex...

MONEYTREE_2

Snooping is just plain WRONG. He has the RIGHT not to discuss his feelings for his ex with you. He has CHOSEN not to tell you, and your snooping has overridden his wishes.

You are in the wrong, not him.

Sorry this isn't what you want us to say, but it's the truth.

ripplyuk

I remember your previous posts. I really think it's time to call it quits on this relationship. I know this must feel truely awful for you but it doesn't look like these messages are going to end, and it's just going to drive you crazy.

I just hope you don't let this 'snooping' habit continue into your next relationship. It's a deeply unattractive characteristic. Sorry to be harsh OP.

clairec79

Exactly the same as all your other threads, you aren't in a healthy relationship in any way shape or form.

End it and move on.

You aren't happy (if you were you would be snooping on him) he isn't happy (he's written that)

He deserves someone who trusts him, and you deserve someone who loves you for you and isn't using you

Zeni

I really feel for you, but there's only one option here.. you need to talk to him! Be honest, lay it all out and see where the dust settles. I remember your last thread about seeing messages that weren't dissimilar to this one.. what happened from that? Sadly this isn't completely new information and its not healthy for you to keep going with all this on your mind.

System

MONEYTREE wrote: »

Snooping is just plain WRONG. He has the RIGHT not to discuss his feelings for his ex with you. He has CHOSEN not to tell you, and your snooping has overridden his wishes.

You are in the wrong, not him.

Sorry this isn't what you want us to say, but it's the truth.

I wouldn't say it wrong per say, i mean yes you've broken his trust, but clearly he was doing something wrong. Though the saying "if you go looking for trouble you'll find it" springs to mind

I found out my ex was cheating on me when i snooped.Would never generally do that and never have since but i knew something was wrong, i just needed proof, which i got aplently. That relationship was doomed from the start but at least i got out of it.

PeacefulWaters

ripplyuk wrote: »

I remember your previous posts. I really think it's time to call it quits on this relationship. I know this must feel truely awful for you but it doesn't look like these messages are going to end, and it's just going to drive you crazy.

I just hope you don't let this 'snooping' habit continue into your next relationship. It's a deeply unattractive characteristic. Sorry to be harsh OP.

You've never been cheated on then.

seven-day-weekend

You need to discuss things with him.

Pollycat

trey101 wrote: »

I think I'm happy to stop looking at his phone now.

^^^^ Posted on your 2nd thread on 30th March.
So why are you still snooping on his phone?

elsien wrote: »

I do have to ask how many times you're going to go round in these circles before you either say something or let it go. Much of the comment on the last thread is probably still relevant - I'm not sure what advice you want this time that hasn't already been said.

I'm in total agreement with this ^^^^.

I can't tell if your boyfriend is a 'player' or if his head is so messed up that he's saying/texting all sorts of stuff to his ex.

But it does sound a very toxic relationship and I think your best move is to sit down and think very carefully about where you see this going and then sit down with your boyfriend and talk it through..

justme111

What the f... is he to talk about with the partner ? It is spelled out now , the only thing to do is to split and build the separate life.

ripplyuk

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

You've never been cheated on then.

True. I can't even imagine how awful it must feel.

However, I do know, only too well, what it's like to be on the receiving end of someone's paranoia from being cheated on in a previous relationship. It is toxic.

The point I was making is that if the OP continues checking and snooping on their next partner, the relationship will be doomed from the start.