Really worried about my mother's home and my brother

Pixie5740

Doody wrote: »

Hi all,

I know the details haven't all been published yet but I am extremely worried about what will happen to my younger brother in the event of the Tory proposal to make people sell their homes for social care.

Our mother is disabled and is needing more and more care. About six years ago my brother, who is most likely autistic, gave up his job and accommodation to move in with her and take care of her. The deal was that he would inherit the bulk of her estate when the inevitable happens. He's taken on the responsibility willingly and lovingly but her needs are increasing and they are starting to think of other support for her.

I can't do much being 200 odd miles away and with a very complicated family situation here. If she does get any sort of extra care, or even need to go into residential care, where would that leave him? He's 60 this year and had been expecting to carry on living there for the foreseeable future himself. He has no savings, employable skills and finding a new home for him would be hard.

The proposals I have seen refer to the home not having to be sold until a spouse living there also passed away. Nothing about adult children.

Our parents spent all their money on adaptations to make the house easier for our mother to get around, and for her life as a deaf person to be made as easy as possible. They've paid taxes and NI contributions all their lives and did not expect that they could not leave an inheritance to the child who needed it.

There is very disturbing information going around about the financial products meant to help in this situation. I'm not expecting answers, just wanted to worry 'out loud' on my keyboard.

As someone else has said no one knows how this proposal would work in practice because it's not in place yet. The Conservatives would have to win the election first and then have the bill passed through parliament.

Currently people's homes are not included in the means testing if it is still occupied by:

* Your partner or former partner, unless they are estranged from you
* Your estranged or divorced partner IF they are also a lone parent
* A relative who is aged 60 or over
* A child of yours aged under 18
* A relative who is disabled.

Source [http://www.ageuk.org.uk/home-and-care/care-homes/the-means-test-and-your-property/]

Since it appears from your post that your brother is 60 this year your mother's house will not be included as long as she does't require care until after his birthday.

Mojisola

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Currently people's homes are not included in the means testing if it is still occupied by:

* Your partner or former partner, unless they are estranged from you
* Your estranged or divorced partner IF they are also a lone parent
* A relative who is aged 60 or over
* A child of yours aged under 18
* A relative who is disabled.

This is why it would be good to get the brother's name on the house deeds now.

Any accusation of deprivation of assets could be refuted because the current laws mean the house wouldn't be included in the financial assessment whether it was for home carers or residential care.

Pa_Ja

Quite the predicament, I feel your stress.
Doody, if there are concerns that your brother has a disability such as autism then he will have to arrange an appointment with a GP who can hopefully start the process of having this diagnosed to ensure he is protected regardless of the outcome.
Your mother is protected either way, you're quite right to be looking out for your brother.
Act now, don't wait any longer.

sarahsays

Pixie,
I don't smoke - as I said, I'm responsible with my finances and my health. I do know how much Care Homes cost - nothing for those, for whatever reason, can't afford them. I also know where my taxes, national insurance and rates go; however, you don't seem to be as well informed. Of course I know what country you're in, Obama Care is just an example of people working against their best interests. You say in an earlier post that inheritance only serves to widen the gap between rich and poor - this smacks of someone who hasn't made any attempt to provide for their children's future - a cop-out if ever I heard one. The OP has every right to be concerned about her brother and I'm sure his mother would want him to stay in his home, people have every right to provide for their children, especially if they're vulnerable. I won't be replying any further as your comments are only becoming more and more ludicrous and, as the saying goes, the knower has to be equal to what is to be known - this doesn't seem to be the case where you're concerned.

gettingtheresometime

Given that this thread, as predicted, is going off at a major tangent I suggest that the thread is allowed to die a natural death

happyandcontented

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Given that this thread, as predicted, is going off at a major tangent I suggest that the thread is allowed to die a natural death

In what way is it going off at a tangent? There are two sides to every argument and Sarah is presenting her opinion of the policy behind the OP. Whether you agree or disagree she is entitled to have her say.

IAmWales

Pa_Ja wrote: »

Quite the predicament, I feel your stress.
Doody, if there are concerns that your brother has a disability such as autism then he will have to arrange an appointment with a GP who can hopefully start the process of having this diagnosed to ensure he is protected regardless of the outcome.
Your mother is protected either way, you're quite right to be looking out for your brother.
Act now, don't wait any longer.

I entirely agree with your post, and Mojisola's suggestion that they look into joint ownership.

I would point out though that the chances of getting a learning disability diagnosis at an older age are very low, the powers that be don't see it as in their interest to allow this. Nonetheless they should approach the GP to see what support may be available.

Pixie5740

sarahsays wrote: »

Pixie,
I don't smoke - as I said, I'm responsible with my finances and my health. I do know how much Care Homes cost - nothing for those, for whatever reason, can't afford them. I also know where my taxes, national insurance and rates go; however, you don't seem to be as well informed. Of course I know what country you're in, Obama Care is just an example of people working against their best interests. You say in an earlier post that inheritance only serves to widen the gap between rich and poor - this smacks of someone who hasn't made any attempt to provide for their children's future - a cop-out if ever I heard one. The OP has every right to be concerned about her brother and I'm sure his mother would want him to stay in his home, people have every right to provide for their children, especially if they're vulnerable. I won't be replying any further as your comments are only becoming more and more ludicrous and, as the saying goes, the knower has to be equal to what is to be known - this doesn't seem to be the case where you're concerned.

That's right if you reach old age and require care but don't have enough money to pay for it the workers in the care home all work for free, Tesco provides the food for free, Pfizer provides the medications for free, nPower provides the gas and electricity for free. It's all free. Nobody has to pay for it, not the person receiving the care, not their family, not the tax payer. Yippee.

Doody

IAmWales wrote: »

I entirely agree with your post, and Mojisola's suggestion that they look into joint ownership.

I would point out though that the chances of getting a learning disability diagnosis at an older age are very low, the powers that be don't see it as in their interest to allow this. Nonetheless they should approach the GP to see what support may be available.

There are meant to be very clear diagnostic paths to an autism assessment, in reality there are not. With my support, my brother saw his GP, who referred him on, to a very unsatisfactory interview with a woman who advised him to self refer to MIND. Totally useless. So we went back to the GP, saw someone else, who referred him on elsewhere. Who wrote a letter about him having autistic traits with another referral. Which lead to another appointment with someone who was very nice, and then totally disappeared.

Bear in mind my brother doesn't push for himself and has social difficulties, and that I am hundreds of miles away with a husband with persistent PEs and other health problems, a terminally ill MIL and a son with autistic and mental health related difficulties I find it hard to push for this. It's a long story, but saying go for a diagnosis is not as easy as one would hope it would be.

Getting his name on the deeds could be a very wise move. We had been advised against this because of the willful deprivation of assets issue but will take further advice.

IAmWales

And for all those praising the Tory dementia tax ...

They've done a complete u turn. They're now saying there will be a cap, though they don't know what that will be.

In summary, they don't have the first clue of what their policy is.