Really worried about my mother's home and my brother

professor~yaffle

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Well I guess the time to start worrying is if/when the Tories win.

When.

They know they're going to win it, and by a landslide. They woudn't have called an early election otherwise.

gettingtheresometime

professor~yaffle wrote: »

When.

They know they're going to win it, and by a landslide. They woudn't have called an early election otherwise.

And I wonder what the odds were on Brexit being voted for & Trump winning.....now there's an accumulator I wish I'd bet on.

Actually whilst I think she will win, I think it won't be the landslide she was expecting....after all you don't naff off the very people whose votes you want without there being consequences

justme111

Pixie5740 wrote: »

That's an alarmist piece of !!!!!!!!. No one will be coming to take away their home 9th May. The money to pay for social care has to come from somewhere so why not from the wealth people have accumulated during their lifetime? What's the point of saving for a rainy day if you never put the bloody umbrella up?

Inheritance isn't a god given right. In fact inheritance just widens the gap between the rich and poor.

Exactly. Understandable for one to want to pass on the wealth but one should accept that due to circumstances it may not happen. If one worked all their life and paid taxes and mortgage one can afford a carer so that he/she does not lie in their poo ; not that he/she does not lie in their poo while children who can not wipe it inherit the house

Primrose

Whatever one thinks about political parties and their policies, to date there has never been a political party that has had the courage previously to put their head above the parapet and address the increasing financial burden of caring for a nation of growing elderly. Politicians of all parties have put their head in the sand because however you address it, it has to be paid for and no chosen option will be a popular one. There is no such thing as government money. There is only taxpayers money, so inevitably taxpayers to a greater or lesser degree are going to have to fund it in some way.

The State therefore cannot pay for everything so it's pretty obvious that that if you've saved all your life for your rainy day, when you need increasing care and it has to be paid for, either in a care home or additional help at home, your rainy day has arrived. As much as people would like to leave money to their children as an inheritance they often can't provide the level of care needed because they live too far away or have their own children to care for. So although it seems unfair on the next generation it's not unreasonable in my view to expect people to take responsibility for this next stage of their life if they have funds or assets available to do so.

I doubt whether your brother will find himself without a roof over his head if he has had special needs and I suggest you encourage him to get his own needs assessed now. Councils do not normally require houses to be sold if there is a family member over the age of 60 living there, especially if that person was an Individual's carer and has needs of their own.

I can identify with your concerns. I can only suggest you address them to whoever is your MP after the election. Legislation has yet to be drafted on this policy and there will have to be many details and exemptions which will need to be considered and included.

Gavin83

A property is disregarded if a relative over the age of 60 lives in the property (assuming they don't live there to avoid care home fees) and they'll also disregard it if someone has been a long term carer for the person entering residential care. Either way I think your brother will be fine.

Can't say how it would work for homecare as this policy doesn't currently exist but I'd imagine it'll be similar.

tyllwyd

Have you been in touch with social services to get an assessment for your mother? My MIL had Alzheimer's, and her social worker was a huge help in getting care organised. Is your mother self-funding (under the current rules, obviously)? You don't mention if she is getting any care visits from an external care agency - it sounds as if your brother could do with some extra help. Has she applied for Attendance Allowance - it's not means tested, and it would help to pay for care.


You should have a look at the Alzheimer's Society forum - lots of people there are caring for relatives, and there is lots of information about the financial side of things, dealing with local authorities, care visits etc.


If I've understood it correctly, if the new proposals went through, they wouldn't ask for the house to be sold immediately to pay for care, but they would put a charging order on the house so that there would be a bill to pay when it was eventually sold. So it would be OK while your mother was alive but I'm not sure what that would mean for your brother when she eventually passes away.

Mojisola

Doody wrote: »

Our mother is disabled and is needing more and more care.

About six years ago my brother, who is most likely autistic, gave up his job and accommodation to move in with her and take care of her.

The deal was that he would inherit the bulk of her estate when the inevitable happens.

It's a shame she didn't make him a joint owner at the time.

It could still be worth it - the house shouldn't be included in any financial assessment because of his age, being her live-in carer and his own disabilities but it will make things easier when she passes if the house is automatically his.

sarahsays

I do feel it's really unfair of some posters to say that it's acceptable for the OPs mother to have to sell her house in order to pay for her care, because she can afford it. The reason others can't afford it may be because they have been irresponsible with their money or 'lived for today' with no thought of giving their children a 'leg-up' in life. My husband and I have worked all our lives and paid taxes, and have lived frugally in order to provide our children with a secure roof over their heads. We've never objected to paying taxes and if some of these have been able to be used for helping those less fortunate we applaud that. We've sacrificed many things such as new clothes, nights out or holidays that others take for granted, (which means our children have also had to sacrifice these things, for their future). We've only had two children because that's all we could afford to provide for. We've saved, out of pretty low wages, since our children started school, so they could have a small amount of money to help towards their university education. I think it would be unfair for us have to sell our only asset, our home, to pay for care costs, when others get free care, perhaps due to having been more irresponsible over the years. I know it might sound a bit melodramatic but, honestly, we'd both rather opt for assisted death when we get older, than deprive our children of these assets.

gettingtheresometime

sarahsays wrote: »

I do feel it's really unfair of some posters to say that it's acceptable for the OPs mother to have to sell her house in order to pay for her care, because she can afford it. The reason others can't afford it may be because they have been irresponsible with their money or 'lived for today' with no thought of giving their children a 'leg-up' in life. My husband and I have worked all our lives and paid taxes, and have lived frugally in order to provide our children with a secure roof over their heads. We've never objected to paying taxes and if some of these have been able to be used for helping those less fortunate we applaud that. We've sacrificed many things such as new clothes, nights out or holidays that others take for granted, (which means our children have also had to sacrifice these things, for their future). We've only had two children because that's all we could afford to provide for. We've saved, out of pretty low wages, since our children started school, so they could have a small amount of money to help towards their university education. I think it would be unfair for us have to sell our only asset, our home, to pay for care costs, when others get free care, perhaps due to having been more irresponsible over the years. I know it might sound a bit melodramatic but, honestly, we'd both rather opt for assisted death when we get older, than deprive our children of these assets.

Yes, you're right you are being a tad melodramatic.

Since when has it been a God given right that children should inherit from their parents? It doesn't make sense to say that your children should inherit your assets and yet expect them to pay for your nursing home fees via taxation.

Wouldn't they much prefer you have the ability to be able to live somewhere decent rather than where you were dumped by the council?

Weirdly enough I was talking to my mum about nursing home fees before the policy was announced and as I said to her, there's a cost to living whether that be in the form of rent, mortgage or even nursing home fees.

In any event I think this thread has the possibility of being derailed big time

sarahsays

Of course it's not a God given right for children to inherit - however, I do feel that parents have the right to provide for their children's future - particularly when, as in the OPs case, one of those children is vulnerable. I don't expect my children to pay for my nursing home fees - I expect my taxes which I have consistently paid to do that - I have not used up much in terms of health care, and have not claimed benefits, so I expect that taxes paid to date might go some way to pay for a nursing home. Whilst my children may well want me to be in the best one available, I myself would chose a budget one if it came to it in order to protect their inheritance - my children, my responsibility, my decision to have them, therefore it's up to me to look after them, not the other way about. Furthermore, if it's free for one, it should be free for all - not fair that people in the same nursing home are paying two different amounts.
I also think my children would be asked to pay the same taxes whether I paid for my own nursing home care or not - so they're paying into the public pot not mine.