Tips for long distance relationship

mai_taylor

Take a class or join a club, see if you can get a friend to go along so you're more motivated to go. Go for walks so you're getting out of the house, organise a weekend away or trip out with friends, spend some time with family, volunteer. Make sure you have something to look forward to each month so time goes quicker.

mariposa687

I was long distance the other way with my ex as he lived in London. Long distance isn't the reason he's my ex by the way!

We saw each other a lot by making sure we booked our travel well in advance. My joke was that Edinburgh airport was my usual Friday night hangout spot. We spoke everyday, usually a text first thing and then we would chat on Skype or the phone every night. We didn't have set times, we worked around what each of us was doing that particular day. As important as communication is, you also have to give them enough space.

Also, having your own hobbies/interests as other posters have suggested will make it easier when you miss them.

Fireflyaway

My husband worked away for 2 years. I focused on the fact it wasn't forever and it was for a reason (to advance his career). I actually tried to enjoy some aspects - not sharing the TV, eating rubbish and not feeling guilty, not worrying if the house was a bit messy etc! Naughty me!
There is email, phone and Skype and its fun to send surprise gifts / letters in the post. Take a holiday together if you can or go and visit.
Mostly remember this is not a big issue. He hasn't gone to war. He is coming back. Make some plans for the future so you have a goal in mind.

sweetbabu

You can fly London to Glasgow in about an hour, and flights can be gotten cheaply enough if you book far enough in advance.

Then you have texts and phonecalls, Skype or Facebook calling and whatsapp and everything like that.

Six months really isn't a long time.

chesky

Let's hope you didn't drop all your friends when you started seeing him, so you can call on them if you get a bit lonely.

skullncrossbones

Hi everyone, sorry for the late reply been a busy couple of days!

Ok so a bit of background - we were together for a couple of years as teenagers - !!!! happened and we randomly met again after 10 years and it all started up again. I feel secure in the relationship and this came out of the blue.

I take a couple of classes during the week anyway and no I didn't drop my friends when I got with him however I'm quite an introverted person so don't have tonnes of friends. I've signed up for some volunteering during the weekend so that should keep me busy too. I think it was more a question of how to not feel lonely. Also I have a chronic illness which can make you feel very demotivated at times and when I'm with him he gives me that extra kick up the bum! I will just do it for myself now.

I realise people are in far worse situations than me and I think it was just the build up of waiting for him to go.

Thanks for all the replies.

Primrose

If you're a little introverted and are happy your own company, make a list of all,the classic books you feel you would like to read and have never had time to get round to. War and Peace should keep you occupied for quite a while !
And what about music? If you're a lover of classical music the Proms on BBC3 will be starting soon so listening to them will keep you busy.

Or buy a teach yourself book and start learning a new language, or brush up your schoolgirl French or German perhaps?

I,m sure you!ll probably find that the six months are over before you have time to tick off many of the things on your list. Time has a habit of passing pretty quickly especially if you have work to keep you occupied during the day.

And remember you don,t have to feel lonely simply because you are alone. It often can be simply a state of mind if you allow yourself to start feeling sorry for yourself..

hazyjo

I'm in London and dated a bloke from Middlesbrough and I don't remember the distance being a problem. He worked shifts so would often get 4 or 5 nights off at a time. He'd drive to mine and I'd go back with him and sometimes use my holiday to take the odd day or two so I'd often end up seeing him for up to a week at a time. I'd go to work when he was at mine and he'd do things at home, go fishing, meet me, whatever really.


You have to be creative around time off you both have and be prepared to amuse yourself if one of you is working.


We talked a lot too, and I'd do things with his friends if he was working a late shift when I was at his.


It will go sooooo quickly - it's nothing, not long term or anything. You don't need to do anything, just carry on like you have been and speak with him lots. I'd prob just be watching box sets and seeing my friends rather than self-development I think I'd just be disappointed at the end of it if I tried setting myself goals for such a short period of time.


Jx