Tips for long distance relationship

skullncrossbones

Hi all,

My bf and I have been together for 9 months - tomorrow he goes to Scotland for 6 months to do some training. Whilst I'm really happy he's following his dreams I can't help feeling a little alone and left behind. Does anyone have any tips on how to be in a long distance relationship (even though I know he's coming back!) and making the most of the time I have alone? I sometimes struggle with motivation and really want the time I have now to be used as an opporunity for my own self development.

Thanks in advance

74jax

Do you mean tips for the relationship or you? The question seems more about you (not in a bad way).

You've only been together 9 months. What did you do before you got together, see friends, go out. After 9 months surely you didn't see him every day and no one else. Just do what you did this time last year.

trailingspouse

Scotland isn't that far away. And 6 months isn't that long.

Presumably he will be coming back to visit from time to time. And there's nothing to stop you going to visit him. In fact, if he came home once a month and you visited him once a month, you'd be seeing each other roughly once a fortnight! And there's Skype etc.

I like the idea of using this time for your own self-development. You need to decide what to do, and then just go and do it. I feel that everyone should be able to manage on their own - it's not healthy to rely on another person too much, no matter how much you love them - so get out there, and be brave. What are you dreams?

Marvel1

As others said it's not that bad and not far away, regular contact and visits.

A mate of mine goes on submarine for about 3 months and the only communication is from his wife 60 words a week by telegram, he can't reply.

arbrighton

Hmmmmm, last time I checked, they had phone lines and internet in most parts of scotland.

Certainly better than when now Husband and I were in LDR right at the beginning of our relationship and I was working up there for 9 months. He rang me every day. We talked. He visited.

And what on earth do you mean by 'self development'

Your OP is unclear what you are asking.

Northern78

My hubby and I have only ever experienced a long distance relationship! He's in the forces and often away for weeks/months at a time. We've been together 13 years and married 7. It''s not for everyone and I can't say it's been easy but at the end of the day if you love someone and want to be with them then distance isn't really an issue.

penguingirl

I've done ldr twice- once didn't work, and one is still going strong- we had 3 months together, 9 apart and 9 years together since. I found it much more manageable with an end date like yours, think we'd have really struggled if it was indefinite. Plan visits, use holidays wisely, talk on the phone, use whatsapp/Skype etc. And if it feels too hard or either of you can't be bothered, think about whether it's a sign of the long term future of your relationship.

In terms of self development- what do you want to do? Learn to run? Gain a new skill (knitting, cooking, diy, photography, yoga, mindfulness, something academic)? Expand your social groups? Volunteer? Set yourself a goal for the 6 months and make a plan of how you're going to do it.

System

The danger is if you both grow apart but 6 months isnt really that long at all.

DCFC79

Make an effort to do something, whether its 1 of the options already suggested or arranging to see him once a month.

Im guessing you work so its just the evenings and days off. Arrange to see your friends or do something with them eg you both learn a skill or do something active like pilates, yoga etc.

Any jobs that haven't been done for a while that need doing at home ?

PeacefulWaters

FaceTime.
Whatsapp.
Flybe.
Virgin Trains.
Other airlines.
Other train companies.
Book a holiday.

yvonne13_2

When you said long distance I thought you meant overseas. Nothing wrong with Whatsapp/Skype and visiting each other twice a month minimum is fine. Don't create an issue when there isn't one.