Money Moral Dilemma: How do I ask my flatmate's girlfriend to chip in more?

Former_MSE_Nick · 11 May 2017 at 3:34PM

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My flatmate has his girlfriend round a lot, which I don't have a problem with generally. We often cook and eat together, take turns to buy drinks for the flat etc, but she rarely contributes - only my flatmate does. I don't want to make it awkward but I think she should chip in more often as she eats and drinks about as much as any of us.

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Logoks2000 · 17 May 2017 at 8:09AM

Hi, I think asking your mate's girlfriend to chip in will not go down well. Your friend should contribute more to cover her share as it's his guest.

Red-Squirrel_2 · 17 May 2017 at 8:13AM

Perils of house sharing. Start keeping your stuff separately and socialising less with them, or accept the extra contributions from your flatmate as being for his and her share.

John_Gray · 17 May 2017 at 8:36AM

Does your contract with your flat-mate not cover this eventuality?
There might perhaps be a 'no freeloading' clause...

PasturesNew · 17 May 2017 at 8:39AM

You have to be blunt and say "I can't afford to subsidise your gf"
You might follow that up with "unless I also get the 'benefits' you get of all that free bonking"

This is like the "split the bill" scenarios ... your flatmate is the dining equivalent of being the geezer that had a king prawn starter, bottle of wine, king prawn curry, desserts .... and now wants to split the bill.

warehouse · 17 May 2017 at 8:40AM

PasturesNew wrote: »

You have to be blunt and say "I can't afford to subsidise your gf"

This, exactly this.

PasturesNew · 17 May 2017 at 8:52AM

Cooking/eating together never works if there's a "third wheel". Nor any form of "kitty" for household expenses if there's somebody who is omnipresent using, but not contributing.

The deal you walked into on day one was changed when your flatmate brought in a gf.... he's probably not seeing it (because it doesn't affect him) - and she probably assumes it's OK with you and assumes you already had the conversation.

When it comes to buying drinks... not sure what sort of drinks... but if, say, it was a four-pack of beer ... then maybe buy a four-pack, put two in your room, two in the fridge and say nothing

At least if he then opens the fridge and has them both you've still got yours hidden away... and can open the fridge and go "Oh, I bought beers.... where are they?"

TBagpuss · 17 May 2017 at 9:20AM

This is a conversation you need to have with your flatmate, not with his girlfriend. She isn't party to the agreement he and you have about sharing costs.

It may be that the time has come to change the arrangments about sharing costs, so you each buy your own, or you could ask hat you switch to a 2/3 1/3 split of joint costs to reflect the amount of time she is there.

Be prepared for your flt mate to ask you to chip in extra whenever you have a guest.

Bellisima · 17 May 2017 at 9:25AM

She needs to pay her way. Unfair on you otherwise.

mickeymouse303 · 17 May 2017 at 9:25AM

Speak to your flatmate about the issue first.

benjus · 17 May 2017 at 10:27AM

Agree with others - the flatmate should contribute more to cover his girlfriend's share. If he wants to ask her to pay for it, that's his business - don't talk to her directly.