When things hit rock bottom the only answer is to fight the way back up...

Hiddenidenity

The food is in the slow cooker. It smells good! But it's so warm I really don't want curry :rotfl:

I still haven't done the bit of ironing might as well wait for the uniform and do it all together watching [STRIKE]!!!![/STRIKE] soaps tonight.

Shopping list is complete and 7 meals planned. No idea what days we'll set what it depends on OH work hours. He picks up as much overtime offered which I appreciate but makes planning hard :cool:

Hiddenidenity

I don't think we'll be able to meet our rent and council tax payments tomorrow. For the first time since me standing in court begging and pleading for a suspended warrant of eviction. I'm worried sick about this but it doesn't seem to worry OH

[Deleted User]

Oh Hun, I wish I could help.

Is there anything you can put off paying until next week? Or anything you can sell?

Toni'sfriend

Wish I could help too - no wonder you're anxious. Would paying what you can manage and phoning the council and explain help in the short term? I'm no expert but have you contacted one of the debt charities to see if they can give you some advice? Also I'm a bit concerned that all of this doesn't seem to be have any effect on OH. I assume that you have talked to him about this but for the sake of your health you really can't go on taking sole responsibility. Don't know what else to advise - maybe someone else can suggest something?

Hiddenidenity

Deleted_User wrote: »

Oh Hun, I wish I could help.

Is there anything you can put off paying until next week? Or anything you can sell?

I've asked my mum to let me off paying this week and I've put the few things we have on ebay hopefully theyll get £15 or so.

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

Wish I could help too - no wonder you're anxious. Would paying what you can manage and phoning the council and explain help in the short term? I'm no expert but have you contacted one of the debt charities to see if they can give you some advice? Also I'm a bit concerned that all of this doesn't seem to be have any effect on OH. I assume that you have talked to him about this but for the sake of your health you really can't go on taking sole responsibility. Don't know what else to advise - maybe someone else can suggest something?

My OH doesn't care honestly. He's 'used' all his wage before its in. So what work will actually send to the bank will only just cover his bus fare to work next week and not really much else he doesn't get my anxiety at all. I thought in march when things where really bad and everything hit a head he called to get me seen by the emergency mental health team he might realise I can't just 'get on with it' but nope he still seems to think I should just snap out of it :cool: and doesn't see it as something I can't actually control.

We'll manage. I get £48.10 child benefit which will put gas and electric on and do the groceries for the week even if it's tight. We have no where to borrow from so can't get anymore in debt just put off what we are already paying

Toni'sfriend

I'm a bit confused so I hope you'll forgive me if I ask some personal questions which you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Do you and OH actually live together? I ask because you talk about work sending money to the bank. What is his wage "used" on before if comes in? You cannot just "get on with it" if you have anxiety. It is a complex illness which needs understanding and support. Do you see your doctor on a regular basis and are you on medication?

Hiddenidenity

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

I'm a bit confused so I hope you'll forgive me if I ask some personal questions which you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Do you and OH actually live together? I ask because you talk about work sending money to the bank. What is his wage "used" on before if comes in? You cannot just "get on with it" if you have anxiety. It is a complex illness which needs understanding and support. Do you see your doctor on a regular basis and are you on medication?

Yes we live together.

He's used his wage on tools in the work shop which he can cash out of his wages. I understand he needed these tools however he doesn't and didn't need them all this week. Nor needed them more than we need a roof over our head. So while essential over time definitely not essential now he could have continued to use works tools :mad: along with the tools and one day off means around £26 will hit the bank. So he probably won't transfer anything to me to pay bills. He's worse than having a 4th child at times. I appreciate the hours he puts in at work however if we don't actually see the money what's the point

GeorgianaCavendish

Hi HI, welcome back!

When you are looking at laptops it may be worth considering a refurbished one. When I was a student I bought my laptop refurbished from Currys and it saw me through 4 years of university with no problems (and it was about a third of the price of a brand new one!) . I don't think Curry's sell refurbished laptops anymore but there are loads of places online : Laptops Direct have got a refurbished HP laptop with Windows for just under £140.

I know you've said you've tried to give up smoking already, but would you be able to switch to vaping (if you don't already)? Would that make it a bit cheaper? I'm not a smoker myself but I saw this suggestion on another diary and it seemed to make a bit of a difference.

Anxiety is a horrible thing to deal with and I'm really sorry that your OH isn't being so supportive. Could you make an appointment with your GP and ask for a referral for counselling? Don't feel like you have to deal with it on your own.
People telling you to "snap out of it" doesn't help at all, let alone when you have these kind of money worries hanging over your head!
Would you be able to show your OH your statement of account and budget? I appreciate that might be very difficult but in my experience it is not possible to debt bust if your partner isn't on the same page as you. It's one thing to have different habits and attitudes when it comes to spending 'spare' money, but totally unfair for one person to bury their head in the sand and leave their partner struggling to cover the bills.

Toni'sfriend

Again you don't have to answer this but just how much money do you have this week to live on? it doesn't seem like nearly enough, If he earns £1235.00 a month (even on average) how can he only have £26.00 (even accounting for buying tools and I don't understand why he did that when you're in such dire straights) and if that's all he has why isn't he giving it to you and the children? Agree with GC. If you're not seeing your GP on a regular basis you need to start doing so and get some support. If OH doesn't understand do you have a friend or relative who could talk to him and explain. Please don't think I'm being negative I really would like to help.

Hiddenidenity

GeorgianaCavendish wrote: »

Hi HI, welcome back!

When you are looking at laptops it may be worth considering a refurbished one. When I was a student I bought my laptop refurbished from Currys and it saw me through 4 years of university with no problems (and it was about a third of the price of a brand new one!) . I don't think Curry's sell refurbished laptops anymore but there are loads of places online : Laptops Direct have got a refurbished HP laptop with Windows for just under £140.

I know you've said you've tried to give up smoking already, but would you be able to switch to vaping (if you don't already)? Would that make it a bit cheaper? I'm not a smoker myself but I saw this suggestion on another diary and it seemed to make a bit of a difference.

Anxiety is a horrible thing to deal with and I'm really sorry that your OH isn't being so supportive. Could you make an appointment with your GP and ask for a referral for counselling? Don't feel like you have to deal with it on your own.
People telling you to "snap out of it" doesn't help at all, let alone when you have these kind of money worries hanging over your head!
Would you be able to show your OH your statement of account and budget? I appreciate that might be very difficult but in my experience it is not possible to debt bust if your partner isn't on the same page as you. It's one thing to have different habits and attitudes when it comes to spending 'spare' money, but totally unfair for one person to bury their head in the sand and leave their partner struggling to cover the bills.

Thank you for replying. I haven't even looked at laptops/computers but that's something I'll definitely look into when the time comes. The GP has sent off emergency referals in March but I think the waiting list for both the counselling and psychological team are quite long. See while I'm a smoker if I don't have money I manage. For instance this week I was bought 20 cigarettes for helping out my mum with some ironing and these have lasted until today (still a few left)
I don't smoke in the day. Only when the youngest is in bed and I'm 'bored' maybe I could just quit really? OH however smokes 20 a day along side vaping. He must spend/borrow around £150? A week at least. He has debts with his friends I have no idea about or the amounts. Tbh I don't want to know he can deal with it

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

Again you don't have to answer this but just how much money do you have this week to live on? it doesn't seem like nearly enough, If he earns £1235.00 a month (even on average) how can he only have £26.00 (even accounting for buying tools and I don't understand why he did that when you're in such dire straights) and if that's all he has why isn't he giving it to you and the children? Agree with GC. If you're not seeing your GP on a regular basis you need to start doing so and get some support. If OH doesn't understand do you have a friend or relative who could talk to him and explain. Please don't think I'm being negative I really would like to help.

Not being negative at all I appreciate the replies. This week's wage after tax and ni and pension is £308. This would see us comfortable to meet our commitments. However £280 in the work shop on boots/tools/bag etc has taken this full weeks wage and he says there's about £60 out of next week's which is also a day down already due to us having an appointment on Monday just gone with youngest.

My mum and I are quiet close see each other every day however she's very set in old ways and not someone to listen really. I guess I need to find a friend :rotfl: but no seriously most time's I like my own company and clean to keep busy helping others where I can.

I'm sure after this month is out the way we will feel some benefit. Only if OH stops the spending at work before he's evenue earned it :cool: