Coming Out

unholyangel

Angry_Bear wrote: »

I would argue that even here it isn't really important. Why does it matter if someone doesn't like you romantically because of their sexuality, or just because they don't. And if they DO, then why does it matter if they identify as bisexual, gay, straight or other.

I think as a society we have a bit of a hang-up about labels as we're going through a transition period where more things are becoming socially accepted. Hopefully there will come a day where the label doesn't matter and there are just "people you're attracted to" and "people you aren't".

I didn't say it mattered, I said its the only time it should be of consequence (ie the only time its ever potentially going to impact on you personally).

pipkin71

Sorry you're facing this situation. Have you ever thought your mum might already know? I knew about my daughter way before she told me.

You shouldn't have to hide who you truly are so can appreciate how difficult it must be not knowing how your mum will react but I do hope you can have an open discussion at some point without the fear of being disowned

System

pipkin71 wrote: »

Sorry you're facing this situation. Have you ever thought your mum might already know? I knew about my daughter way before she told me.

Yes i guessed much the same before my daughter admitted she was a lesbian.

Fireflyaway

I don't have personal experience but I think I'd make a plan so if your mum really did kick off you wouldn't be homeless or living in an intolerable situation. Save up a bit of cash and decide what you would do. Could you rent a room in a shared house?
It could be your mum is ignorant. I don't mean that in a rude way. Maybe if she has no gay friends or her own parents were homophobic that's all she knows? Its easier to make fun of / have hatred towards minorities than to make the effort to become educated. Maybe she has an idea but is worried she might come into a hard time herself if she has homophobic friends who then find out she has a gay son?
I know its different but my mum wasn't happy to find out I had become Muslim. She knew nothing of Islam. She had no Muslim friends, believed some really incorrect stuff about Muslims because its easier to believe the first thing you hear than to do some research. Over time she saw I hadn't turned into some weirdo! I would drop little bits of info casually into conversation so she could hear the truth and not believe false stuff or make incorrect assumptions. Also I read a lot. I always pass my books to my mum so this started to include the odd religious book. I was delighted to see on the side a few weeks back a book about Islam! I didn't even mention it. I was just happy she had decided to take a look and not stay closed minded.
OK I'm waffling on! Maybe write a letter. Explain all your worries and explain you realise it might be hard for her to accept but you love her and don't want your relationship to suffer. She might just be more accepting than you think. Hope it all works out.

Lambyr

Judi wrote: »

Yes i guessed much the same before my daughter admitted she was a lesbian.

It's a good point. When I did come out to my mum she said that my dad (now passed) had said years back that he thought I might be a lesbian and had encouraged my mum to 'read up' on it just in case.

Wish I could thank him for that. When I told my mum I was bi, she was a bit shocked, I suppose, but I think because dad had already put the idea in her head that it helped her to accept it.