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My mum is a hoarder and wants me to keep 4 large storage boxes of bedding when i move
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cashmonger
Posts: 411 Forumite
I had 2 large storage cupboards and a spare room in my current property and so my mum kept bringing up more and more bedding to keep in the cupboard.
Now I'm moving I'm looking for a 1 bedroom to save money and the ones I've seen there are no storage cupboards.
She is saying she wants me to keep those boxes, even though I told her I have to pay for their moval and there won't be any room in the new places. She says 'you can use them as tables'.
I think she also feels 'insulted' or something that she won't be able to stay with me any more. She only stays a couple nights of the year I told her it is ridiculous I would pay for a whole other bedroom just for that. She isn't one to waste money either so she reluctantly agrees with that.
Likewise she also reluctantly agreed that it would be wasteful to have to pay to move that bedding when I do the move, paying for the box space.
I think she was coming round to the idea of me giving it away. She said she prefers I sell it but I said what would some 30 year+ old bedding be worth, and she agreed not much.
Any other arguments I can give to encourage her to make the 'right' decision
?
I am the opposite of her and despise any clutter and these places are so small there is only enough for my computer, chairs, and bed in my bedroom.
She doesnt like that she won't be able to stay any more but it isn't practical for just a couple days a year is it. I don't see the big deal when you sleep in seperate rooms anyway. She can afford staying in a travelodge but she seems to think it is like being thrown out or something. She did it before for years when I was at uni it is just she got used to this luxury of me having two bedrooms in my current place.
Now I'm moving I'm looking for a 1 bedroom to save money and the ones I've seen there are no storage cupboards.
She is saying she wants me to keep those boxes, even though I told her I have to pay for their moval and there won't be any room in the new places. She says 'you can use them as tables'.
I think she also feels 'insulted' or something that she won't be able to stay with me any more. She only stays a couple nights of the year I told her it is ridiculous I would pay for a whole other bedroom just for that. She isn't one to waste money either so she reluctantly agrees with that.
Likewise she also reluctantly agreed that it would be wasteful to have to pay to move that bedding when I do the move, paying for the box space.
I think she was coming round to the idea of me giving it away. She said she prefers I sell it but I said what would some 30 year+ old bedding be worth, and she agreed not much.
Any other arguments I can give to encourage her to make the 'right' decision
?I am the opposite of her and despise any clutter and these places are so small there is only enough for my computer, chairs, and bed in my bedroom.
She doesnt like that she won't be able to stay any more but it isn't practical for just a couple days a year is it. I don't see the big deal when you sleep in seperate rooms anyway. She can afford staying in a travelodge but she seems to think it is like being thrown out or something. She did it before for years when I was at uni it is just she got used to this luxury of me having two bedrooms in my current place.
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Comments
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This should be in the family relationships or how to be assertive forums, not here.0
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The boxes could "go missing" in the removals van?0
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Take them to the tip and dump them, then give her a tenner and say that was all you could get for themYou can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose.0
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Freecycle them."If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." -- Red Adair0
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Will you have a separate living room? If so, you could always buys a foldable guest best from argos and place in your living room if your mum really wants to stay with you. Also, give your mum your bedroom and you can use the living room if this situation is possible.
Your mum will not be around forever, make her happy if you can.
the guest beds are also very compact and fairly cheap.0 -
If the bedding is in reasonable condition despite the age why not suggest donating it? There are a few possible places to donate. Directly to a homeless person, to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen, a domestic violence refuge, animal rescues. Most won't take duvets but duvet covers, sheets and blankets all come in useful.0
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Will you have a separate living room? If so, you could always buys a foldable guest best from argos and place in your living room if your mum really wants to stay with you. Also, give your mum your bedroom and you can use the living room if this situation is possible.
Your mum will not be around forever, make her happy if you can.
the guest beds are also very compact and fairly cheap.
We already have inflatable beds. Those are ok since they fold up small; it's the bedding which takes up all the room.0 -
Donate to a rescue centre! That's what we're doing with all our old bedding that's not really humanable anymore but would still do for puppies, bunnies etc0
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It does sound like attching a good feeling to the donation of those items to places suggested above is the way to go.
Perhaps call ahead to the charity so they know you're coming and let mum know how much they are looking forward to receiving it and how it will help. Take her with you, if necessary. She might get the bug for donating!Everything that is supposed to be in heaven is already here on earth.
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Avoid enabling hoarders wherever possible.
Invest in a sofabed and you can still have a guest over and enjoy your more economical one bed place.
Donate the bedding to a refuge/animal charity and get a warm fuzzy glow.They are an EYESORES!!!!0
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