Reducing funeral costs

Livelongandprosper

Burials here are within 3 days, unless you ask for longer for a loved one to make it home from Oz or where ever

Dad died just before midnight on Boxing Day so much it was a mad dash to get a death certificate , the death registered and the paperwork signed for a cremation on the 29th . But it saved us that emptiness time , that long space between death and burial that appears the norm in England

I've told DH to send my body to the crem in a body bag, no mourners, no service, no nothing and for them to send the ashes back by post or in the next car coming this direction ( there is on one crematorium here) and he can scatter me on the beach

He wants the works, church graveyard, full service, flowers, mourners the works

However we have both said big party to be held, drinks on us

pelirocco

Funerals arent for the dead , they are for the people left behind . So its all well and good saying you want to be left out for the bin men etc , but your loved ones may actually want the whole pomp and preformance of a funeral ,speaking from experience arranging a funeral is the final act of love you can give someone
I know a couple whose daughter died of a dreadul long drawn out condition , when she was still fairly young ( early 40's ) she chose to leave her body to medical science , I have always thought the lack of a funeral left them in limbo

Btw , until losing close family members , I could never understand the need of a funeral and the expense , but when my mother in law died , we were very much dont worry about the money just go for it

mum2one

It might sound daft but the cost of death notice skins add up, local to us, they recommend the free / some pay weekly paper, £120 as well as the local evening paper at £70 a ngt....

We also have a free local paper, I rang them and it cost me £10. To be honest more people saw it in the add I put it than the main one x

Owain_Moneysaver

mum2one wrote: »

It might sound daft but the cost of death notice skins add up, local to us, they recommend the free / some pay weekly paper, £120 as well as the local evening paper at £70 a ngt....

Then the executors may have to put a Trustee Act notice in the local paper for any creditors of the estate ... might as well have the one ad do double duty.

margaretclare

We can't have a black bin bag because plastic is non-biodegradable. Can't have any embalming either because the embalming fluids leach into the soil. We can have a coffin in cardboard or wicker. Because no embalming the funeral must be held much more quickly than seems to be usual nowadays. I agree with the Muslims and the Jews. Funerals should be held as quickly as possible. I can't imagine anything worse than to be kept in cold storage for 2-3 weeks because the crem is full up.

As for having a 'ham tea' (as my ancestors would have put it), a wake, anything like that can be held later, with or without a memorial service.

No flowers, please - big waste of money - but wildflowers and snowdrop bulbs planted on my grave. The last funeral we went to we were asked to wear pink because that had been her favourite colour. For DH and me, we don't mind if you wear pink, blue, green or any other colour/s but please, no black.

The flag I have in mind to cover my coffin can't be left on it because it is nylon. It's the White Dragon on a red background. http://whitedragonflagofengland.com

[Deleted User]

margaretclare wrote: »

Because no embalming the funeral must be held much more quickly than seems to be usual nowadays. I agree with the Muslims and the Jews.]

You'd agree just until you found out how much a Jewish cemetery plot costs.. £16,000 (London). You're meant to join a synagogue (up to £50 per month) and pay an annual fee to the 'Funeral Expenses Scheme' to be buried in a Jewish cemetery, otherwise, you pay the full 'upfront' cost.

It's a little rough finding out someone has died, then the next day it's their funeral. You then are meant to visit the 'shiva house' (the house of relatives of the deceased) for a week in the evenings for prayers.

Wakes sound more fun

Fun fact - In Jewish law, if you have any part of your body removed it should be buried with you. My grandad-in-law had his leg amputated a few years ago, and it's already buried in his plot. There was a secret mini-funeral as well.

Mojisola

margaretclare wrote: »

I agree with the Muslims and the Jews. Funerals should be held as quickly as possible. I can't imagine anything worse than to be kept in cold storage for 2-3 weeks because the crem is full up.

The family funeral we attended last week had people from several different countries - some had traveled a great distance to be there.

I doubt they would have been able to do so at a day's notice and so would have missed the family gathering.

carlislelass

Relative had a direct cremation, few days later family held a Service of Thanksgiving.

Gers

carlislelass wrote: »

Relative had a direct cremation, few days later family held a Service of Thanksgiving.

Great stuff.

For me I'd rather see my friends and relatives before I die, it would mean so much. Whilst I agree that a funeral is for the family we are so scattered around the UK and over two other continents, seems such a bad waste of money to come over to 'say goodbye'.

I flew across to Australia for the funeral of my nephew last year, as he was only 34 years old it made more sense than if the deceased was in their 80s or 90s. The place was packed with school friends and two sets of workmates and then family.

My mother is 89 years old and is fully aware that she has outlived the majority of her friends, there's only me in the UK and her family abroad are mostly of the same age range. She's not too close to the younger (50s / 60s) members of the family.

After she dies she wants an afternoon tea for those left. Tea and cake, I'd like gin and cashew nuts for my wake!

margaretclare

ringo_24601 wrote: »

You'd agree just until you found out how much a Jewish cemetery plot costs.. £16,000 (London). You're meant to join a synagogue (up to £50 per month) and pay an annual fee to the 'Funeral Expenses Scheme' to be buried in a Jewish cemetery, otherwise, you pay the full 'upfront' cost.

It's a little rough finding out someone has died, then the next day it's their funeral. You then are meant to visit the 'shiva house' (the house of relatives of the deceased) for a week in the evenings for prayers.

Wakes sound more fun

Fun fact - In Jewish law, if you have any part of your body removed it should be buried with you. My grandad-in-law had his leg amputated a few years ago, and it's already buried in his plot. There was a secret mini-funeral as well.

I don't necessarily agree with all of it, but I think the delays people experience now are just too much - 3 weeks because the 'crem' is too busy.

When I was a child funerals usually happened within the week, a few days. People knew they'd be buried in the churchyard. My mum was the first person I ever heard of who wanted to be cremated, but she didn't say what to do with her ashes. I decided they should be interred in the family plot in the village churchyard, so there are 3 generations of them all together.

For DH and me, it's going to be a 'green burial' and it can't be delayed because no embalming allowed.

Last autumn DH went to a funeral of a cousin of his - one of those who wouldn't speak to him because he'd 'married out'. He wouldn't want to be buried there. It's
Rainham Jewish cemetery and he said, it's London clay.