I've quit everything. Now what ?

enthusiasticsaver

I think many of us were hoping AC would see the light Warby and we had followed his journey from an existence of debt and a depressing job in London to a new start which is inspiring for many.

I haven't added up all the ins and outs of what he has spent but yes I agree he has been impatient and has the wrong priorities. I think the debt should have been cleared first and as much as he said the flat needed refurbishment it was liveable and the improvements could have been done more economically and gradually.

It has been like following a story we all hope has a happy ending and I still hope it does but I have to admit my optimism for his future is wavering now. He does not listen to advice so it does seem like a waste of time giving it.

irishjohn

warby68 wrote: »

Genuinely curious as a lurker who may well have missed the point.

I think many of the recent posts containing the strongest of advice may have felt a step too far to AC. Having come across this thread recently I went back and read through the previous one over the past couple of weeks, caught up in the excitement that I think many of the posters felt while following AC's journey.

I think, from reading these threads there are perhaps a couple of things AC has emphasised to the readers about his history which he believes are linked to his situation.

AC lost a job he loved but found work again very quickly through temping and eventually permanent employment. Reading his posts he seems determined to work again, and with that determination probably will. He is not allowing his illness to make him a victim - and has indeed worked for the past year at least while suffering from his illness. I think his unwillingness to seek sickness related benefits is another indicator that he wants to work.

AC has explained a few times how his debts came about and while some of the debts may have come from spending without thinking - there are also a lot of life situations which caused him financial problems.

These elements of AC's story tell me he probably feels a smaller nest egg is OK for him and it is OK to spend on some home comforts for his new home to enable him to settle in. He has been effectively without a "home" for quite a while now and hearing him speak about pictures and frames for the walls he is definitely building his nest!

He has successfully found a flat which was under his planned budget and while some of us would be far more restrained in our spending, AC has chosen to spend some money on making the flat a comfortable home for himself now while he has time on his hands rather than holding off in case he doesn't get a job. He has perhaps expressed his dreams aloud on here because he feels comfortable in doing so and taking on the chin the hard advice he is given. Following some of the advice, not following some of the advice. Nothing wrong with that.

This week is the culmination of a long journey, and he can see the finishing line after a very long obstacle race, and he wants a week to celebrate this victory, because to him it is indeed a victory.

I am hoping he will come back because its obvious he feels he is among friends here. And we can all celebrate together as he crosses that finish line. We all know that its simply the starting line for the next race, and we know too we want AC to open a new thread for that race too - and enable us all to chip in with comments and suggestions.

I made a similar journey at AC's age, realised the high pressure job was getting me down, and trying to deal with the care of an elderly relative who was 300 miles away - I had never been out of work, and had known debt back in the 92 recession where 15% mortgage interest rates popped up. But I spent two more years in the job, hating it and raking in the money to pay off my mortgage - then I walked away from the big salary and company car with enough to buy a house outright and have £25K left - I found work on minimum wage and learned to live on a low salary until I felt able to retire.

AC may not have taken all the advice given, but he has sold up, moved away from London, and is prepared to make this fresh start. He may sometimes take the path of least resistance when taking a more complicated path might have more reward but hey - we are all different.

I am hoping to see him re-appear here today and update all his friends on the new furniture, how things are looking and as friends everyone can celebrate with him and bring this thread to the positive and happy ending it most certainly deserves. And then we can all move on to the next thread - the new chapter in the life of AC where we will all be rooting for him to keep on learning and living.

another_casualty

Hello ..is anybody still here ?:o
I would like to say thank you to everyone here , for the huge support I have had . I would like to say sorry for throwing my toys out of the pram . I do love all of you .
I would like to briefly explain why I was angry .
First of all, I hope that lesson learned and dreaming continue to chip in here whenever they want or feel. They are great people .
However, I may have burnt my bridges there .

I have actually listened to all advice given . I haven't ignored it .
I did nearly spend way too much on extravagant stereos etc but held back . Irish John has more or less nailed , what I've been up to so far
I have not gone for a complete new kitchen . The bathroom I amazing
£5k well spent . As Irish John points out , I bought under budget .
I have told you all more or less everything I spent so far , except a few clothes and food / day to day living .
I even sent links to my new home etc. I'm an open book.

On Tuesday , I felt rougher than usual. Prednisolone is evil. Ask Wendy . My first post that day was acknowledging that terrible incident and putting my heart out to all.
So far so good.. then during the day I receive 2 ott posts one after another that were too much from dreaming and lesson learned.
One was calling me insensitive and making me out to be selfish and uncaring. The other criticised whether I've has any hardships in life .
Also patronising me as if I don't understand or appreciate the advice given as if I've never been on the forum asking for it before.
I understand how it all works .
I have never criticised anyone on this forum or any other but thought that way too much . That's it . No more need be said .
After that , I felt totally broken beyond repair . I may still be.

I know you all mean well . Yes, I may have blown it .on my head be it
It is my fault ..nobody else's . The advice is brilliant .
I may be right or wrong, but I think that the speed of me buying everything now may look like I'm a big child in a sweetshop.
However , most of the stuff is sale price and could've been a lot more
The blinds? I rushed that , but if I it the wrong sizes etc I could've made a more costly mistake . Reason I rushed..only a few days left

I don't want or expect sympathy , and I think my support may be wavering with some . Sorry anyway

dreaming

I'm glad you are back AC. I continue to support you and your dreams - as I said from the sidelines. Good luck with the move.

another_casualty

Thanks dreaming

lessonlearned

AC of course you have not burned your bridges with me. I was exasperated with you and I let rip. We've both said sorry and "kissed and made up" so to speak so let's just "Let it Be" .......

You have worked like a dog these last few weeks, you must be exhausted and for my part I have been unwell, stressed and anxious (I won't bore you with the reasons) and was impatient.

When we are overtired or feeling below par it's easy to say or do things we later regret. We're only human and I have never professed to be a saint!!

I was thinking about you this morning and how awful it must be in London today in this heat. I remember your old office had no air con, just think how you would swelter today. Much nicer with those sea breezes......

I understand the weather is set fair for a few days yet. Try and take a break, enjoy the beach or maybe a nice meal by the harbour. You've earned it.

Grumpelstiltskin

AC Everyone knows moving house is very stressfull.

On top of moving house you have your health problems, the worry over the debt repayments and you have no family and very few friends around you.

The next few days won't be easy but just stick in there and very soon you will be in your new home, there may be teething problems with the flat, there often are when you move but just keep the thought that the flat and everything in it is yours and paid for and this is the beginning of a new chapter in your life.

anna_1977

Hey AC :o
Hope the delivery for the furniture etc goes well today, have fun arranging it all

x

another_casualty

Thanks LL
Yes , tiredness is something that affects us all . Hope you get back on track . The old saying , you need a holiday after a holiday could be what's needed for you
Life is strange . I haven't been to the new flat until this morning .
Last time was Monday . I felt so down , and wondered if it was all a
big mistake . Waiting in an empty flat for over 3 hours for mr carpet didn't help. Today, although a bit weak, I feel better .
The furniture turned up already , and my spirit is lifted .
Great that you and dreaming are back

lessonlearned

Great stuff.

I am off out now to run some errands before it gets too hot.

It's going to be a scorcher. And.......whilst Derbyshire is Gods Own Country :rotfl: it's a long way inland with no cooling sea breezes.