Breaking up...financial question

Pollycat

Thanks for the clarification, I do understand why you're all over the place and confused (my friend went through a marriage split too) but I hope you understand why we needed to know the true facts.

Have you put your details into the benefit checkers?

Have you booked an appointment with CAB? And tried to get a free hour/30 minutes appointment with a solicitor?

Do you have a good friend who can help you with this?
Someone who can ask the important questions and make notes.
My friend would have waffled through both meetings, going off on a tangent if I hadn't brought things back on subject.

You need to be clear that you have been with your partner for 18 years and married for 2.

What are your plans for childcare?
Will you still be able to keep your part-time job?

first78 wrote: »

We had ivf so although I am not a biological parent I still have my name on the birth cert and therefore have parental responsibility.

In a man/woman marriage, the non resident parent would be expected to pay child maintenance.
In your circumstances, I'm not sure how that would work if your partner's name is not on the birth certificate, it's something you need to get specific advice on.
Is your partner willing to pay maintenance anyway?

Are things reasonable between you?
Can you discuss things with each other?
I think you need to find out what her intentions are about the house and her future living arrangements.

first78

Pollycat wrote: »

Thanks for the clarification, I do understand why you're all over the place and confused (my friend went through a marriage split too) but I hope you understand why we needed to know the true facts.

Have you put your details into the benefit checkers?

Have you booked an appointment with CAB? And tried to get a free hour/30 minutes appointment with a solicitor?

Do you have a good friend who can help you with this?
Someone who can ask the important questions and make notes.
My friend would have waffled through both meetings, going off on a tangent if I hadn't brought things back on subject.

You need to be clear that you have been with your partner for 18 years and married for 2.

What are your plans for childcare?
Will you still be able to keep your part-time job?



In a man/woman marriage, the non resident parent would be expected to pay child maintenance.
In your circumstances, I'm not sure how that would work if your partner's name is not on the birth certificate, it's something you need to get specific advice on.
Is your partner willing to pay maintenance anyway?

Are things reasonable between you?
Can you discuss things with each other?
I think you need to find out what her intentions are about the house and her future living arrangements.

At the moment I haven't done anything, as my spouse is still making up their mind if they want to try and make things work. I'm just trying to prepare myself for what I'll need to do if the worst happens and they decide to leave.

I don't know what would happen regarding childcare as I couldn't afford it by myself. My spouse and I are on good terms so that is something we would have to discuss.

As far as parental responsibility goes it would work no differently to a heterosexual marriage.. we are both named on the birth certificates of our children and therefore both have PR.

Pollycat

Investigate these:
https://www.gov.uk/help-with-childcare-costs/free-childcare-and-education-for-2-to-4-year-olds

https://www.gov.uk/income-support/overview

https://www.gov.uk/child-tax-credit