clearly didnt learn the first time. i hate myself for being in this situation again!

angelpye

Well done for sharing what you could with him and it sounds like he took it well. It's not easy but sounds like you managed it well. Cutting up the credit cards is a really positive step too! Sounds like you have a plan and 18 months isn't too long. Very pleased for you! Must be a relief to have had the conversation even if you didn't say the actual number.

swhite91

had a development today that could take £820 off the total of £7500, the TV i got from perfect home, i went in store today and they were really helpful and have offered to take the TV back and completely wipe the debt off and settle the account on my credit file (it isnt shown as defaulted on my credit file just 2 missed payments even though it should show at least 4-5 months missed payments)
i know its only a TV and im not bothered about it being taken back but again... my partner doesnt know the tv was from perfect home and i want to give it back but again hes gonna be angry at me, we have a small tv from our bedroom we can use in the living room so no issues there its just hes gonna be mad!

they have said they will come and collect it tomorrow to give me time to tell my partner about it, i hope he understands though that it will take £820 off the total debt so hopefully he should be ok

im so so stupid! i never wanna be in this situation ever ever again! its horrible i hate keeping things from him but i also hate him being disappointed in me

tlc678910

Hi, good news about the tv. If you want a bigger tv for the living room than the small bedroom one check out charity shops that stock electrical goods, eBay items with local collection or try freecycle (you will be probably be offered the fat box type if you ask on freecycle)
Tlc

nkkingston

Present it to him as an active step you're taking to reduce the debt. It's better not to have a TV in the bedroom anyway, because if you watch it within a few hours of sleeping the blue light can mess up your sleep cycle. The last thing the two of you want with a new baby in the house is something else stopping you sleeping properly!

(From what you say about your split, I wonder if you weren't already showing symptoms of depression before you split that became more recognisable afterwards. Libido is often written off in women as "not trying hard enough", but it's actually a useful early warning sign for other mental health issues. It's so hard to go out and get help once depression becomes full blown, as you know, but look after yourself and ask your partner to look after you too, so if it does threaten to return you can get a handle on it quickly)

SavingAtNumberTwo

Great news about the TV, mine gave up the ghost last month, only 2 years old but had cancelled the extended warranty (I was not pleased with myself!!!). Am now using a small TV as didn't have funds to replace and it surprised me how quickly I adjusted to it to be fair..

angelpye

Its great that you are looking at things practically and this will be a big a chunk to get you closer to DFD

swhite91

i chickened out last night about telling him abouot the TV, when he came home from work he was so stressed out because they gave him some work to do at home and he not well either so i thought it best to hold off and hopefully il be able to tell him tonight, ive also sent full settlement offers to all the DCA and asked politely to pay over 10/12 months with most of them, if all my offers are accepted il save £1500 off my total debt which will help alot, one DCA has already accepted my offer, SLL Capital for a Wage Day Advance loan total owing was £815 but they sent me an email with an offer of 50% off if i paid over 2 months which i couldnt afford 2 monthly payments of £203.75 so i sent them a further offer to pay the £407.50 over 4 months instead which at first they refused but after going back and forward with emails they finally accepted it so thats saved me £407.50 by just a few emails, ive also read somewhere on here about getting the debt witten off due to irrisponsible lending? would my situation count as irrisponsible lending as i was depressed? not trying to get out of paying it i did take the loan out but it was to pay bills e.g rent as when my partner left all my benefits got stopped and i was living of just £100 a week wages to pay everything. obviosuly i cant prove i was depressed as i didnt go to the doctors about it

angelpye

Firstly well done for being so proactive. There is a thread on here that is about payday loans - worth searching for as I think quite a few have been successful. Good luck re the TV discussion, as someone said previously these discussion are best after dinner.

allthe7s

swhite91 wrote: »

even if i told him about it theres no way in hell he would give me the deposit money to pay the debt off, he would say its my mess to sort out myself and pay myself, we have always kept our finances seperate, hes good with money im not so good

what a lovely attitude to have towards your life partner and mother of his child!

swhite91

well that all happened fast! i rang my partner on his break at work at 10am and i told him over the phone and he took it surprisingly well!

he did have a little swear word when i mentioned "perfect home" but as soon as i told him they offered to take the tv back and wipe the debt he said "right ring them up now and do it and il order a new tv tonight i wanted a new one anyway" hes always moaned about the picture quality not being right when he played on the xbox (men lol) so he wasnt overly bothered about it which is a big relief!

i phoned perfect home as soon as i got off the phone to my partner and they said they would be at my home address within the hour, only took them 20 mins and they were here and took the TV back and told me right debt is clear and account closed!

i feel like i can breathe a bit now!

so a few days ago i owed £7500 in total and now its down to £6272.50 thats a saving of £1227.50 and i havent spent a penny!

hopefully that figure will go down even further if any of my offers to the DCAs are accepted