is manageable debt ok?

moneyfacts

i just don't understand why so many on this forum appear to seek comfort by being told that debt is common place and ok. If that's the attitude then you're more likely to be in debt again.

I was in debt about 10 years ago. I was totally ashamed, felt like a complete idiot and hated it. I threw every single penny into it (no holidays etc) and have never been in debt since.

But each to their. Apparently the U.K. economy is fueled by household debt so at least you're not alone

worriedDan

moneyfacts wrote: »

i just don't understand why so many on this forum appear to seek comfort by being told that debt is common place and ok. If that's the attitude then you're more likely to be in debt again.

I was in debt about 10 years ago. I was totally ashamed, felt like a complete idiot and hated it. I threw every single penny into it (no holidays etc) and have never been in debt since.

But each to their. Apparently the U.K. economy is fueled by household debt so at least you're not alone

Hello Moneyfacts. I am also at the start of a 3 year debt free journey. I agree with what you are saying. I think that issue is that you use words such as 'foolish' and 'idiot' - this will always get a rise out of people. If I use myself as an example; I know that my debt was avoidable. We have simply spent too much and not paid attention to the statements - pay the minimum and everything is fine mentality. Do I feel ashamed? Yes, I do a bit, but I have to focus on how to fix it now. Am i going to spend the next 3 years chastising myself? No! I have realised that there is nothing to be gained from that. In some ways, this could be the best thing that has happened to us as we will enter our forties debt free and far more financially aware.

A lot of people post on here in the early stages of their journey when they are feeling low and vulnerable. 7 days ago I could barely function due to the stress of the debt. I think that it is just a case of making your point, whilst also being mindful of others feelings.

jayss

You seem to be very dismissive of your wife's feelings. Why do you feel the need to be right? Why do you want to justify your view, seemingly at the expense of hers?

copperman05

I think half the issue here is people thinking that tighening their purse strings, knuckling down and dealing with their debt head on with all they have is in some way self flagellating or chastising. When actually it is the opposite. Its fed by the want, the need and the will to get out of the current situation as quick as possible, with all ones might, to undo the !!!! we have let ourselves into, with the smallest damage to our pockets possible. The sooner you get out of debt the sooner you can start building up wealth. Its an immensely positive thing, not self flagellating.

Its the carefree, not really bothered attitude that got us all into debt in the first place. I'm done with that sh*t.

StopIt

copperman05 wrote: »

I think half the issue here is people thinking that tighening their purse strings, knuckling down and dealing with their debt head on with all they have is in some way self flagellating or chastising. When actually it is the opposite. Its fed by the want, the need and the will to get out of the current situation as quick as possible, with all ones might, to undo the !!!! we have let ourselves into, with the smallest damage to our pockets possible. Its an immensely positive thing, not self flagellating.

Its the carefree, not really bothered attitude that got us all into debt in the first place. I'm done with that sh*t.

Totally agree.


I'm sorry OP, but you're in severe denial in my honest opinion. You do not see paying interest as a concern? Imagine burning thousands of £, because that's EXACTLY what you're doing, and wanting to pay off your debts over a longer period than your partner shows you want to burn even more money.


Right now, you're not in control of your finances, your creditors are. Until you rid yourself of your debt overhang that's the reality and that is how your partner feels. Accept this, do not fight it and realise that "manageable" or not, debt can be very scary to people and a "Well, we can pay it off whenever" attitude will make that anxiety worse.


You've set out a plan, that's fantastic, now show 100% commitment to it, go the extra mile and get yourself debt free. Once you are, add to your savings, and get paid for your money instead of paying someone else for the privilege.

bezza59

jayss wrote: »

You seem to be very dismissive of your wife's feelings. Why do you feel the need to be right? Why do you want to justify your view, seemingly at the expense of hers?

I am not trying to be right. We are paying it back at a compromised rate. I admit that I would have been ok to pay it off a little slower. My wife wanted to pay it off more quickly so we met somewhere in the middle! I am not dismissing her feelings, I just don't want her to spend the next couple of years worrying unnecessarily and missing out on life due to a fixable amount of debt. Not everyone has to agree with me, but those are my thoughts.

bezza59

StopIt wrote: »

Totally agree.


I'm sorry OP, but you're in severe denial in my honest opinion. You do not see paying interest as a concern? Imagine burning thousands of £, because that's EXACTLY what you're doing, and wanting to pay off your debts over a longer period than your partner shows you want to burn even more money.


Right now, you're not in control of your finances, your creditors are. Until you rid yourself of your debt overhang that's the reality and that is how your partner feels. Accept this, do not fight it and realise that "manageable" or not, debt can be very scary to people and a "Well, we can pay it off whenever" attitude will make that anxiety worse.


You've set out a plan, that's fantastic, now show 100% commitment to it, go the extra mile and get yourself debt free. Once you are, add to your savings, and get paid for your money instead of paying someone else for the privilege.

The 'denial' word has been used a few times on here. I really don't think I am in denial. I am in fact acutely aware of our debt level, how much it costs us and how long it is taking to repay. I am totally committed to our current plan, however I am not going to be committed to a rate of repayment that means that all pleasure has to cease! I know that others prefer this route and that is fine. I actually think that paying it back at a fast, yet more realistic rate give us more chance of staying on track. I think of it as a bit like losing weight ( which I also need to do! ). If you starve you end up binging!

StopIt

bezza59 wrote: »

The 'denial' word has been used a few times on here. I really don't think I am in denial. I am in fact acutely aware of our debt level, how much it costs us and how long it is taking to repay. I am totally committed to our current plan, however I am not going to be committed to a rate of repayment that means that all pleasure has to cease! I know that others prefer this route and that is fine. I actually think that paying it back at a fast, yet more realistic rate give us more chance of staying on track. I think of it as a bit like losing weight ( which I also need to do! ). If you starve you end up binging!

Firstly, your denials are a classic sign of someone with an addictive personality (Hands up, I very much am that sort of person too, and I'm right there with you on the weight loss thing, 16lb lost since Jan 5th!).


But that bit aside, you need to be more understanding of why your partner IS scared and not downplay it. As I said, if you're 100% committed, and get debt free, you'll free up cash to save and be rewarded for that money, rather than rewarding others.


So, if you know your finances inside out as you say tell me:


1: How much of your debt repayments over the next few years is interest.


2: How much extra interest would you pay if you extended that period by 2 years


3: How much interest would you save if you paid off the debt 1 year earlier.


If you haven't worked that out yet, you may just shock yourself. If you have, then fair play.

enthusiasticsaver

If you are paying the debt back and not taking on new credit then I would say it is manageable. Whether it is desirable to be so much in debt when you have a high income is debatable though. You presumably have been overspending for some time which is perhaps why your wife feels ashamed. Personally I never pay interest and prefer to use every penny of our disposable income on either savings or things we want rather than debt repayments.

copperman05

I think your afraid to give up the life your used to, its easier that way of course, but its also the life that got you into debt in the first place. Really attacking your debt might be much more rewarding than you think, I doubt there are many in here that actually regret being more frugal for a temporary period in return for financial independence and security. What makes you think it wouldn't be the same for you? For me its been like a snowball effect, I had my light bulb moment and since then its become more and more intense as I become more and more determind to shift this debt sooner. I don't think you've had your LBM yet...

Have you not considered how much your children might be better off without mummy and daddy having to pay £800 a month in debt repayments? How much of a better situation you would be in to support them through school, education, marriage, etc? How much better you'd be able to afford nice holidays? These are times you cant repeat, you cant go back and do it again. If they wont motivate you nothing will...You need to act now, right now. You may feel your debt might be 'manageable', but debt isn't for managing, investment funds are for managing, debts are for getting rid, period. The sooner you realise that the sooner we'll shut up..:rotfl: