is manageable debt ok?

bezza59

copperman05 wrote: »

I suspect your OH is concerned that if your not dedicated enough to getting yourself out of debt as she might like, fearing that you may never get out of it. Those that tend to pay off debt halfheartedly tend to get halfhearted results. Why are you going on holiday if you have debts? Why make yourself poorer when you could be much better off much quicker if you really attack it?
Why don't you use something like undebt.it, enter your debts and see how quickly you could pay it off compared to what you are paying now.

I am dedicated to paying it off, I am just not prepared to self flagellate every day until I reach a zero balance. We're overpaying and making in roads into our debts every month. We don't go on lavish holidays and tend to stay in the UK, however I'm not prepared to give up every pleasure as life is too short. We're not adding to the debt and I would certainly not be willing to use any form of credit again.

mark55man

sorry friend you are in denial. It sounds like you have a lot more you could cut without being a bobby no mates stay at home drudge

how do I know - because I'm in there with you. Although each year goes by I pay another £10K off my MFW and DFW I feel good, but I am just now coming to the end of 10 long years with 5 to go and the future me (ie me now) is shouting at the me then (ie you now) saying look at this mess - you had it under control, but you were so !!!!in slow about it. I think you should humour your OH (always a good plan) and see if you can speed it up without unduly stressing your family. You say you are paying £700 a month - aim for £1000. simples!!!!

When my OH had to go Part Time as my DS2 needed care at home that nearly killed us. I think what everyone here is saying is well done on keeping all those bricks juggling, but wouldn't it better to get out from under the brickstorm coz you never know whats 6 months down the road let alone 2 years

Puddylove

I think it depends on your personality whether debt stresses you.

In your situation I'd be worried; I earn a bit less than your joint income, and if I owed anything close to £40k I'd be sweating blood. It's a precarious way to live

I do owe £6k ish for a car loan, but I have savings to cover that fully, instantly if I wanted to.

I hope you pay off your debts, and it all works out for you.

zippygeorgeandben

I'll disagree with copperman that all debt is bad apart from mortgage. Debts accrued through university to further yourself as an adult and improve your chances of securing a decent well paid job and enhancing your career are ones I'd gladly pay.

Jon_B_2

Our household income is around £66k/annum and I'd be seriously worried if my debt was anywhere above half our annual income.

I think you're in denial.

LabRatty

As has been said already, it's a very personal thing.

What would your wife like to happen that is not currently happening? Have you asked her - and the listened to the answer?

You are in this together and need to have a plan that both of you are comfortable with. From your post, the cost of your totally relaxed attitude is being paid for by her increased stress levels.

This is not good for either her or the relationship in the long term, and as you're in it for the long haul this needs fixing.

All the best,
LR

determined_new_ms

I think people on this thread are being a little harsh! It's your life op you are entitled to view it the way you want to! Persoanlly it doesn't sound to me like you are in denial, you've paid off £10k in a relatively short period and you have a plan to pay it off that you are sticking with. Signs are good

That said I agree with LabRatty it seems maybe you and your wife have different attitudes and it sounds like it would be worth spending some time working out some compromises that mean you both get what you want. Maybe your wife would appreciate it if you had a year where you went hell to leather, cut out meals out & holidays - staycations are just as good with so much on our doorstep that we take for granted - and slashed the debt by 1/2 and then took a more relaxed approach for 12-18 months.

Do you have a plan for if you or your wife lost your jobs? After getting debt free we agreed to have in savings enough to see one of us through job loss for a year. This came to fruition in 2015 when I lost my job suddenly (I was sacked ) and my mother died on the same day and I ended up having a year off of work. Prior to this I was the main bread winner so it was a major shock to the system on many levels. But this buffer we had was a life saver. If you don't have savings do you have income protection ins?

copperman05

Does the 40k include your lease car? How much is that costing you? £40k at £700 a month takes best part of 5 years not 3, and thats not including interest.
When I started using YNAB and saw all my debts listed and the amounts in red it was quite an eye opener and illustrated just how silly I'd been. I promised myself I would get rid of it a soon as I could. Yes it does take some sacrifice but I've also found it a serious life lesson on how much we waste our good earned money and make others rich and ourselves poorer. I'm done with that now.
Imagine tying the purse strings a little (or a lot) for a while till you get this debt gone, then invest in your future, your kids university fund and perhaps later being mortgage free? Why not?

pennystretcher

I hate any debt (even mortgage, which TBH is a debt, but in general is not viewed as such). I would be paranoid about job security if I had that amount of debt - even with good income. I have cut down on unnecessary spending and paying off mortgage, but in no way can I say that my life is miserable - it's all about setting my priorities and remembering to budget for things I enjoy as well. Next year I'll be mortgage free and I can start forking more money towards pension...but then this is me, planning ahead. If you are happy having £40k debt and paying interest on it..hope all goes well.

Number75

You don't really say what the issue is, though.
OK, you're both committed to paying off the debt and you've made a great start and have a solid plan - great!

You say you don't feel shame or want to self flagellate which implies that your wife does.

You haven't suggested that she wants to pay it off sooner.

I think what you have here is more of a relationship issue than a debt one.

It doesn't matter if you don't find it shameful - she does. You need to accept her feelings even if they are different to yours. I would be embarrassed and ashamed to admit to £50K debt on a £70K income - and I'd feel angry at myself for ever letting it get so bad. I'd feel relieved that I was tackling it, and that my partner wanted to as well. But I'd be worried about loss of income until it was paid off - and as I said, I'd feel embarrassed and angry with myself too.

What would REALLY anger me is my husband seeking strangers on the internet to agree with his view!

You just have different personalities on this - she's not wrong to feel how she does.

So first - acknowledge that for her!

Then talk about the debt repayments and check it's working for both of you. You don't have to give up every holiday for 3 years - but is that what she wants? Or does she just want to be heard and not shutdown when she wants to say "OMG I can't believe we did that!"?

I actually disagree that you have manageable debt. Because it's FOR NOW. To me, manageable debt is my car which is on a 0% credit card for 6 months until I get my work bonus, but I know I have the savings to cover it - I just decided not to deplete my emergency fund by £3K. But if I lost my job tomorrow, I could pay it off and still have 6 months outgoings saved. Usually I'd have waited on buying a car, but mine just had a major repair bill.

In your shoes, that level of debt would worry me, for the what-if factor.