Cherry takes the reins

Cherryfudge

I can't see either in the statement, thanks @badmemory. Not sure my brain is up to working it out after several hours of toddler care, but it's been a nice day!

It's a card only I use and I don't drive so it won't have been fuel... and no. it's not Halifax, it's Tesco so the cashback equivalent is actually loyalty points which I've just turned into a railcard: I wonder if that's had some sort of effect, but the amounts are different.

I haven't spent anything today. DH will have spent £1 for the toddler club and I know he's been to the greengrocer as he bought a huge grapefruit and some apples.

Cherryfudge

Today I'm due my third CBT session: I've just sent off the questionnaire that I found distressing last time. I decided that I could make a truer reflection of how I've felt if I looked back through my diary, then discovered a) that I didn't have time to read a fortnight's worth and b) that I don't seem to record emotions. This latter is partly because this is a public forum, but also reflects the difficulty I have in perceiving what's going on in me. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Anyway, I've taken a note of the questions so perhaps next time around I can look at them throughout the fortnight and do a  snapshot of how I feel on individual days.

Lurking in the background is the question of whether I need to do this at all: I feel so much better now that I don't have to go back to the work I've done! Nevertheless, I think it's giving me skills I might need in the future, so I' not about to pull the plug.

Today I have quite a few things to do. Storm Agnes is due this evening so will that mean an end to the Indian Summer? I have to bring in the rest of my houseplants (the one I divided up seems to be thriving) and rescue some fuchsias from a hanging basket to overwinter. These are ones I bought to put in the same basket outside Mum's old house to make it look occupied, and brought with me when I left so it would be nice to keep them going.

I really ought to email HR and copy in my manager and Union rep now that I've been assured it won't be on my record as a dismissal.

Dh has another busy week. He didn't feel well last night so he's started his 'work week' on less sleep. There's supposed to be a farewell meal for his colleague tonight, he had a meeting yesterday evening for s steering committee at church and tomorrow he has another for something else, I forget what. Then on Friday there's a charity quiz - which reminds me I need to invite a few people. By the time we get to Saturday he will need time off.

In the meantime, I need to plan some meals, clean the fridge and look for a job. There are some documents to sort out for DS2, and we need printer ink which I should probably order on line as it's so expensive locally. I'm sure there's more, though the ironing is done for now.

Sun_Addict

Could you keep a mood diary to jot down how you feel then you could refer back to it when you have to fill the form in? 

I hope your CBT session went well. 

Cherryfudge

Sun_Addict said:

Could you keep a mood diary to jot down how you feel then you could refer back to it when you have to fill the form in? 

I hope your CBT session went well. 

I think I need to do something like this. I made a note of what the questionnaire asks so if I keep referring back to that, it should help. Homework this week is a selection of relaxation techniques to help me sleep, which is kind of them and may be helpful in breaking worry cycles, but those aren't really behind my sleep issues, when I have any. I'm most likely to be the wrong temperature or not to have wound down properly. The other side of the homework is a worksheet on dealing with practical (as opposed to hypothetical) worries. I think I do most of this already: I could see from the worry diary that if there's a practical issue bothering me, I often jump in and just fix it rather than have it nagging at me. The steps are more likely to be helpful if it's a complex situation.

It's chilly indoors and Storm Agnes, while not cold, is bringing some rain. I've fetched in and trimmed back the hanging basket along with the houseplants. The heating went on low. It's warm enough if I'm busy but I've been at the computer. Progress today has included finding a free IT course at about the right level, emailing to ask how it would affect my job applications if I applied for it, and responding to an advert about teaching assistants on the Council website. I'm not qualified but I've got a lot of supporting experience and I think that would probably suit me more than an admin job.

DS2 sent me one of the forms I need to complete, but I've not ordered printer ink yet. That might be my next job.

Dh has just got home with some salmon for dinner, which somehow sounds as though he went fishing but he's been at the office. This evening is one of my church groups: three of us have cried off with colds but I'm okay and I think most people will still be there.

Other meals remain unplanned and the fridge needs help.

Cherryfudge

Printer ink was bought last night: £32.99 for a black and a coloured cartridge online, which is better than the £25 for one cartridge paid locally back in May.

I've been looking for my original documents from when I set up my YBS account. For some reason my fingerprint no longer logs me in so I need those details. I've gone through the desk and adjacent bookcase and the bookcase is now tidier, but no luck so far. Neither is it in my in tray. However, I've filed a few medical and financial papers so they are at least together and findable.

Jobs for today include pressing on with the YBS search, finishing checking the jobs bulletins, getting together some paperwork for DS2 and repotting the fuchsias. The weather's calmer but oh-so-grey. I have the light on despite it being mid-morning, though the weather forecast says it will cheer up later. I've to email HR about redeployment, and I've had a reply to my query about teaching assistant jobs, so I need to answer that (that was  quick!).

Cherryfudge

Still looking for those documents, but in the meantime I've had a sort through my work documents - payslips, certificates and the like. Some have gone in the log burner or recycling but most are satisfactorily in order in a bag of files. When I'm really organised (haha) they will even have a space on the shelves, but the available shelf space (now orderly so I can look at it with satisfaction) isn't tall enough. I counted 60 'paper decisions' which have now left my possession.

I've emailed to ask what next with redeployment and am waiting to hear from the teaching assistant query.

All quite pleasing in a way, as I like a nice file or seven. However, I've now to get ingredients for dinner and tidy the things on the floor that didn't belong anywhere obvious.  

Cherryfudge

Dinner tonight was a Riverford recipe with sweet potatoes and chickpeas and a really good crunchy topping with toasted almonds, lemon zest, coriander and salt. I'd been to L!dl for some ingredients and spent £11-something but annoyingly, although I thought I'd heard my app swipe, the receipt isn't showing so I won't be credited the spend and therefore won't get my free bakery item. Grr. I'm not spending another £11 just to get a loaf of bread.

Moan over. Still looking for those papers and finding lots of other stuff but not what I want. Apart from all the work-related papers, I've found a train ticket to check against the estate accounts, a knitting pattern, more pension letters (a project for another day) and a dressing gown I'd bought for DGD who is more nearly the size for it now. It's actually been a fairly productive day, despite not having the things I wanted.

I've done the emails I set out to do, but none of the rest of my list. Tomorrow is church cleaning again - it's been awhile.

Cherryfudge

By way of a P.S., it's so sad about the tree at Sycamore Gap. I know there are thousand worse things in the news and out of it, but to destroy such a beautiful thing so unnecessarily...

badmemory

It was just so unnecessary.  Destroyed for destructions sake, I think that is what gets to people.  There is no benefit to anyone.  It isn't like some of the other recent destructions that have forcibly made way for new buildings, disgusting, shocking but frankly doesn't surprise a lot of us unfortunately.

Sun_Addict

I can’t believe someone is so stupid as to destroy such a landmark. They should make the culprit stand where it used to be and allow people to unleash their wrath on them 🤬 They need to be totally humiliated in public. No doubt they’ll just get a customary slap on the wrist.