Cherry takes the reins

Cherryfudge

Floss said:

Fingers crossed that 2nd job is more suited to your skillset. I wonder if the process of realising you are able to find work elsewhere will help reduce the impact your old job has had on you, and enable you to leave it behind?

Thanks, I think it probably will help. It's encouraging to know there are ways I could still use my skills without it being so stressful.

Sun_Addict said:

The relief job sounds a better option for you than the spreadsheet one. No point taking a job you won't enjoy. 

That's how I feel - I'd rather have less income and more peace of mind.

WelshmansDaughter said:

A chef has been in the paper recently using knotweed in food so you and your ground elder are au courant. 

It sounds like thinking about your job is stressing you out, hugs.

Yesterday wasn't the best day, to be honest, but I realised at the time that as I work my way through these phases, I'm closer to coming out the other side.

You realise you had me Googling recipes for knotweed, don't you? I don't even have any knotweed (left it behind at my parents' old house). It's very pretty stuff but such a hassle that it's not worth it even for the fun of trying an obscure recipe.

I've been at home all day today - it's been a little cooler but there was nothing I needed from town so I bought a couple more e-books and did some reading and gardening. I've potted on some ghost pumpkins and a small gooseberry bush, watered stuff, lopped more of the weigela and further wrestled the ivy at the back boundary.

I think I spent around £3.50.

Dinner was leek and potato soup, and there's a spare portion in the freezer. The email about the relief job hasn't yet been sent: I need another read through to make sure I know what I want to ask. The job A suggested closes tomorrow and I'm not going for it, though it wouldn't hurt me to refresh what little I knew about spreadsheets. For now I'm enjoying living in the 'bee-loud glade'. We stopped to chat to our neighbour who's a bee keeper this evening... apparently if it stays hot and dry some flowers go on blooming but if the temperature drops but it stays dry, there are fewer flowers making nectar. I never knew that.

WelshmansDaughter

I don't know what they have in your area but I found gig economy jobs quite useful. I was schedule free and not having to go anywhere helped. 
Can you assess your job with autism criteria? Things like is the soundscape right, do I have to do a lot of task and code switching etc? If the job has many deregulation items are you willing to put measures in place? Are the consequences worth it? And so on.

Cherryfudge

WelshmansDaughter said:

I don't know what they have in your area but I found gig economy jobs quite useful. I was schedule free and not having to go anywhere helped. 
Can you assess your job with autism criteria? Things like is the soundscape right, do I have to do a lot of task and code switching etc? If the job has many deregulation items are you willing to put measures in place? Are the consequences worth it? And so on.

I'm not very up on gig economy jobs round here: I think a lot would require transport unless you count the theme park which runs a bus for workers. I suspect most of their employees are a lot younger than me!

I've thought of my current job as it relates to autism, and there are obviously potential stressors in terms of the increased intensity with more staff. It can get loud but I could wear the ear plugs and they also have a 'Shh!' system now so anyone can hold up a sign to tell people to keep noise levels down.

I'm probably okay with the level of code switching: it's been harder communicating as there are various people from different nationalities, but that's been the case for ages. We have a small amount of signing, but I enjoy that. Culturally I find it easier wearing a uniform so that's not a difficult switch.

I'm not sure what you mean regarding deregulation items? Sorry - still got a lot of reading to do!

As to consequences, I've been thinking today that it's just not right going back into a workplace that isn't safe - and that's not been addressed.

So... that brings me to being offered an interview next week for that job I went for a few weeks ago. I've been asked to suggest a date I could go for interview. I'm quite conflicted as it would be continuity in a way, and it's a job, but it's in the same place and I feel I've not had the conversations about returning to work that I felt someone would ask me to have. 

Cherryfudge

A brief history of today: I did the church hoovering and watered the plants. It's a nicely routine sort of thing to do but I probably spent too long in the sun and counteracted it with a quiet lie-down in the afternoon until I felt I'd cooled off enough.

I forgot to collect the shears that I've had sharpened.

Dinner was a big salad with tinned salmon and a tin of mixed beans in vinaigrette and an assortment of other salad things, so the stock cupboard has slimmed down a bit more. In the evening I went for a walk to get cash out and do a bit of reduced-food bargain hunting. I found a few fruit and veg, and remembered to get frozen peas as we've run out. Tesco was struggling with software problems so there were just two till open and long queues. However, between the shops I also got rhubarb, asparagus, ginger and pears for knock-down prices.

Spending:
Housekeeping £3.21

Floss

Cherryfudge said:

 
As to consequences, I've been thinking today that it's just not right going back into a workplace that isn't safe - and that's not been addressed.

So... that brings me to being offered an interview next week for that job I went for a few weeks ago. I've been asked to suggest a date I could go for interview. I'm quite conflicted as it would be continuity in a way, and it's a job, but it's in the same place and I feel I've not had the conversations about returning to work that I felt someone would ask me to have. 

Could you contact your HR manager and ask for an off-record conversation with them? And also ask for an occupational health referral so your workplace & role can be assessed against your needs.

Cherryfudge

My manager has already spoken to Occ Health, @Floss, and they told her there wasn't anything they could do and she and I would have to work it out between us. they were very helpful when I was off after an accident, so I don't think it's them being useless. I think I need to get back to the profiler website and see if I can copy the advice from there and forward it to her, in the hope that will help. I can also go back to the disability advisor at the Jobcentre Plus because they've offered to give input.

Actually it occurs to me, writing that, that I could email Jobcentre Plus to ask for advice.

Cherryfudge

A bit of an unusual day today... it's been overcast and a little cooler, and we even had a few spots of rain in the afternoon, though not enough to make a difference. We were going to the car boot sale in the morning but I slept so long it wasn't worth it. We watched the Trooping of the Colour instead and DH did some work on a bathroom tap that's subsequently been put on hold due to needing to borrow a vice off A.

A and H were supposed to be visiting her family this weekend but have called it off as her very elderly grandfather has taken a turn for the worse. I can't remember how it all works out but it would have meant a lot of travel for just 24 hours with the family and they have already said goodbye. They didn't want the toddler to have to travel so much in such a short time, but H's Mum, who had planned to go to theirs next week, isn't now going, so we are taking on extra days of child care. That's not a problem as we enjoy it, but I think I will have to rearrange my church cleaning for this one session.

In the afternoon we went to the bigger car boot sale, where I found lots of 'treasures'. We didn't go to any last week so I felt okay to treat myself to more than usual - I think I spent £15 in all. I was looking out for stoppered bottles that I can use for lemonade and cordial, and got a couple of quite nice ones for £1 each. I fell for a cushion cover that matches our lounge - available online for about twice what I paid for it, but I also got the feather cushion inside, which I'm happy with.

There were three items of clothing including a plain white tee shirt which was on my wish list, a couple of ornaments which I thought I'd sell on but I will probably donate as they aren't so popular now, and a box for transporting or storing small cakes. I also bought some plastic DIY tools for DGD.  

When we got home, all ready to put the kettle on, we discovered the power was off. A cable had burnt out underground a few doors down. We'd already had our cooked meal (fish from the freezer with cous cous and peas) so it wasn't too inconvenient, though I texted the family to say we might be incommunicado once the phone batteries ran out, and went down to the supermarket to buy a hot drink from the machine.

I also remembered to check the app for any expiring vouchers and got a free loaf from L1dl, though I forgot to collect the sharpened shears yet again.

The power came back on just before ten, so it will have been off seven or eight hours. The fridge was still cold and we'd left the freezer shut so the food should be okay. The goldfish was listless without his filter pump, but has cheered up again. I've put lots of things on to charge, and learned that I need to keep a power pack charged up for phones - there was enough in it to give one phone 30%, which wouldn't last long.

On the plus side, we resorted to talking to each other! I nearly did some knitting but managed to get my Kindle working, and the laptop was charged so I could use it offline. We are so technology dependent!  

Spending:
Clothing £4
Household £9
Gift £2
Housekeeping £5

Cherryfudge

Busyish couple of days. On Sunday DH and I went with a friend to the church we used to go to many years ago. It was the final service there for another friend, who is now being ordained and moving to another parish. It's a very ancient building but the interior has been altered since our time (taking out the relatively modern pews, for instance) and its a beautiful, tranquil space, though they can make the rafters ring with their music! We stayed afterwards to eat home baking and renew old friendships.

In the evening we had absolutely torrential rain, which continued into the night. We'd had a couple of tentative showers earlier but no real rain for weeks and weeks.

Today the car had its MOT (only cost £45) and DH was talking about the insurance being £150, though I've not checked if he found anywhere cheaper.

We went to A and H's so I could babysit as they had an appointment. It was the quietest babysitting ever, as she slept through it! I've contacted a friend from work to sound out a bit more about how things are. She says it's improved, but that's not the impression I get.

Cherryfudge

I'm not sure what happened to yesterday's post but some of it has disappeared. Perhaps I didn't save it when I went back into it? It originally mentioned that DS2's goldfish died yesterday. That's sad as we'd had him many years (he was a prize at the fair) and I'd nursed him with a tumour for 18 months. I hadn't realised how often I'd speak to him in passing! I will also miss feeding him squashed peas or (his favourite) pieces of pear, which he adored. He's now buried in the garden under a cotoneaster.

I put in a lot of time and effort into the profiler that the mental health nurse gave me, but there's still some of the feedback section to do. I also contacted a former colleague and let her know I'm off with stress - she and I went through some hard times together, so I knew I didn't have to say much or give away anything confidential but she would still know where I'm coming from.

Today was a full day: I put in more time on the feedback of the profiler form, reckoning that it's still being trialled so the more I can help them even out blips, the better. then I met DH and DGD in town, in the rain, bought some folders for the printouts I made of the profiler results (printing ink is so expensive I felt I needed to take care of the results!) and spent the afternoon looking after DGD and trying not to fall asleep. Then it was a hurried trip home to bury the poor goldfish, get out of my very damp clothing and into something presentable, and out to spend the evening with my Tuesday group. We were joined by two others who used to be regular members and still meet with us when they can. We had a meal out and went back to someone's house for games, so it's been fun.

Spending:
Stationery:£3.87
Housekeeping: ?
Entertainment £10

weenancyinAmerica

@Cherryfudge - so sorry to hear about the goldfish. I have read the entire diary and was following the mentions of the goldfish with great interest. Didn't know about feeding goldfish squashed peas and pears. Hugs for you.