Cherry takes the reins

WelshmansDaughter

Or you wanted to leave before the assault, found it difficult to make the decision, it was made for you and now you think you should go back even though you actually want to move on?

Cherryfudge

No, other way around, @WelshmansDaughter. I've never wanted to leave: it was my perfect job in terms of skill set and location, and some colleagues have been fab. Being assaulted is of course unsettling but I went back in as soon as I was well enough The first day I was due to work with the person was odd: I said hello as he walked past the office and was dreading the rest of the shift but he actually only stayed a few minutes so I didn't get back to working with him. I think if I had, I might not be so worried now, but what's done is done. I was due to work with him again a while later and really wasn't happy then, either. There were only two of us with experience of that group of people. I knew I'd have to shift lead as the other person avoids it when possible but I also knew she's rock solid reliable. Then I heard she'd got her date for an operation so it would all be down to me - supervising the whole team and wondering if person X was about to come through the door and how he'd react. I knew I couldn't safely lead so I called in sick.

(Actually the person who took the shift lead turned out to be very good and has since gone from strength to strength, so I needn't have worried for her).

The other thing is that the job is the same as ever but the workplace has changed: lots of new staff, more intense, and as unpredictable as ever. I'd chosen not to go for a team leader post as I saw how much pressure they used to be under and didn't want that, but I ended up acting up, not occasionally but regularly. The others just wouldn't do it if I was there.

I don't feel obliged to go back: I could ask for redeployment (it's a big employer with a variety of posts) and Jobcentre Plus would help me rewrite my CV as I have plenty of transferable skills. I know because of my specialism that there are other organisations I could work for locally (it has to be locally as I'm not a driver and it's quite a rural area), but I know from the grapevine that other employers are stretched too and I could do without the pressure to pick up shifts. To be honest, I could also do without learning a whole new job when I've got so far with this one. As I say, it was my perfect job but the workplace has changed around me and it's going to be a while till I get to the other side of the counselling that might help me get back to working with 'Person X'.

badmemory

I think what is concerning me is that I don't remember you saying if there was any sort of investigation as to why this person had assaulted you.  I'm not talking about a police type investigation as I assume they are vulnerable & it could be something like your hair colour reminded them of someone & that is who they were really assaulting.  But even if the reason is obscure there will be one, has anyone tried to find out what it was.  Knowing could ensure that it wouldn't happen again.

Cherryfudge

badmemory said:

I think what is concerning me is that I don't remember you saying if there was any sort of investigation as to why this person had assaulted you.  I'm not talking about a police type investigation as I assume they are vulnerable & it could be something like your hair colour reminded them of someone & that is who they were really assaulting.  But even if the reason is obscure there will be one, has anyone tried to find out what it was.  Knowing could ensure that it wouldn't happen again.

We do know what was behind it - the person had had a bad shock which we knew about, but gave no sign of having processed it as they were smiling and seemed relaxed when they arrived.

Cherryfudge

I don't know what happened to the nice weather but today has been decidedly chilly.

I went to help with the church cleaning again this morning and when I arrived someone was wrestling a fridge out from under a kitchen counter. This turned into a full-scale Investigation of The Smell, and if ever you find a fridge that smells like that did once it was out in the open, you would do what I did and open doors and windows. It took us a while to realise the drip tray at the back was the culprit and it's an old style that can't be removed for cleaning. The fridge interior was fine. My brave colleague spent an hour or so doing what he could to help (I did offer, honestly, but I think guys don't like to hand messy jobs to women unless it's to do with nappy changing  ). It was so bad though that the fridge is now out of bounds and is going to be replaced. I can't understand why it wasn't a constant smell, but I think the building would have been empty if it was!

So anyway, that put us behind on our jobs but there's a lunch and study group who meet (unsurprisingly) at lunch time and I was invited to join them (my colleague started and finished earlier than I did). That was so nice, but I went all shy and explained that I'd just texted a friend to meet for coffee. As it happened I found out later she had a migraine so I could have stayed but I'm not good at changing direction on the spur of the moment.

I got a lot of shopping on the way home, particularly fruit and veg bargains, then played on the computer while I waited for a reply from my friend. I also had an email from my manager to say she'd read mine of yesterday and when would I like her to ring me, so I've suggested some times.

I was a bit despondent today: I seem to be swinging from happy to sad on alternate days and can't make up my mind what to do. I realised I'm worrying about return to work/not return to work much as I used to worry about issues at work, so I think I need to look back through the counselling notes. My friend texted just before tea time though and said she feels like a recluse (she went off sick the same time I did) so we've arranged to meet up next week. That gave me a better perspective on things as she's off for different reasons but it will be hard for her to return as well.

Dinner was pasta and sauce: Dh had his with a couple of bits of salmon left over from the other day, and I had mine with quorn. I was so full afterwards! We watched the dénouement of Race Around the World, which was very exciting, then went for a walk till Dh had his 10,000 steps. (I've just passed 16,000 so I'm pleased with that). Any calories burned will have been replaced as I then tried to make palmiers. They were sort of semi-successful but a bit stodgy. I'm not good with pastry, even shop-bought. What's the knack?

Spending:
Housekeeping £20.10 (I discovered tinned fruit seems to be cheaper at Asda but oranges were cheapest at Iceland on a multi-buy)

Cherryfudge

And I forgot to add that the door has come off the cooker again! Obviously not a good day for white goods.

DH will have a look at it tomorrow but the bottom hinge is sagging badly. It's not quite coping with the weight of the door, which has three layers of glass in it. It seems ridiculous but if we can't find a work around, we may have to replace the cooker, which is otherwise fully working. I think I will be searching the Internet for solutions while DH tries to get it back together.

badmemory

I was once told that using a rolling pin that had iced water in it should help.  I don't know how true it was, but I had disasters even with bought pastry & only filo works for me.  Personally I think it was because pastry just doesn't agree with me so it was saying stop using it you idiot & save your stomach the aggro.  I don't know if those rolling pins are still a thing but mine has been doing a sterling job of stopping cutlery falling off the back of the cutlery tray for 30 years now.  I did try to declutter it a couple of weeks ago but the cutlery drove me mad so I rescued it.

Cherryfudge

badmemory said:

I was once told that using a rolling pin that had iced water in it should help.  I don't know how true it was, but I had disasters even with bought pastry & only filo works for me.  Personally I think it was because pastry just doesn't agree with me so it was saying stop using it you idiot & save your stomach the aggro.  I don't know if those rolling pins are still a thing but mine has been doing a sterling job of stopping cutlery falling off the back of the cutlery tray for 30 years now.  I did try to declutter it a couple of weeks ago but the cutlery drove me mad so I rescued it.

I love that it's determined to be useful, regardless!

I think I should have chilled the pastry (having now read a recipe, a bit late!) but that really makes sense about the cold rolling pin. I have a marble one at the back of the drawer, and just grabbed a wooden one that's more easily accessible.

It looks as though the water ones are still available, but I had to do a bit of search. If I put the marble one in the fridge, I expect it would do the same thing. Now I will have to practice, and bang goes the weight control.  

WelshmansDaughter

It's funny having read your diary I would have thought you didn't like your job.but the covid years would have given a false impression. 

Cherryfudge

WelshmansDaughter said:

It's funny having read your diary I would have thought you didn't like your job.but the covid years would have given a false impression. 

Oh now that's interesting! I do have difficulty seeing things to do with myself so you may have a point. It's certainly been a great place to work over a lot of years, but things went downhill with changes in management and for a long time we had no manager so there's been a lot of ground to make up - hence so many changes. Covid was a weird time out though I was lucky enough to be able to keep going out to work - if 'lucky' is the right term for it. I was still going out to work, meeting people, but of course there was the health risk and having to help out in older people's homes: my first shift in one was just as the ambulances brought people back from hospital, no longer infectious but so weak...

Since going back to our normal work, the changes have been thick and fast and there've been lots of things I've not been happy with, but the basic job and I are such a good fit that anything else I do wont use my whole skill set. I'd miss many of the people I look after, and some staff I've worked with too. On the other hand, I wouldn't miss the unpredictability/stress, and most of the staff who made it a great place to work in the past have already gone.