Teaching, nightmare.

zippygeorgeandben

I'm a teacher in my 7th year now. It's true what they say, the teaching aspect is wonderful and rewarding but unfortunately, all the extra stuff takes it's toll on you and the people around you.
What really saddens me though is when on my Facebook news feed I see 'Get Into Teaching' promoted by the Government and when you click on the comments, there are dozens and dozens saying 'DON'T DO IT' and the majority are from teachers who, of course would love to extoll the virtues of seeing children develop but you just aren't allowed to, well teach outstanding lessons.

mumcoll

My daughter must be really lucky, she is in her 14th year of teaching KS1 and 2 and, despite the long hours outside of teaching, she loves it and can't imagine doing anything else. A lot of problems must come from working with horrid people and you get those in all professions! Also she is a real worrier and puts a lot of pressure on herself to excel as a teacher.

McBec

I'm lucky in that I'm a secondary teacher who loves what I do. Finding a balance is a nightmare I agree but if love the job then you find a way through.

First things first. Is your partner Primary or Secondary - this can make a difference in the amount of support that is on offer.

She needs to ask for help and now. If she doesn't feel that she can ask her mentor then there will be someone in charge of training that she can speak too. She needs to be honest about how she is finding everything so that support can be tailored. If this doesn't work then she will have some on the SCITT that she can talk too. She also needs to learn the word no. Trainees will be asked to volunteer for many things and she needs to say no she can't take anything else on. Her mentor should be protecting her here and backing this up.

A last resort is transferring to a different school. This is not impossible but can be tricky. It is worth considering though as if this school is right then another one could be.

I hope this helps.

zippygeorgeandben

Yes - some schools suit certain people. My friend was at a school where it was all 'first name terms with the children' jeans/trainers and he hated it! He is much better suited to a school which enforces strict teacher/student roles.

seven-day-weekend

My husband retired (at 55) in 2004 from 25 years of Secondary School teaching. During that time he went from loving it to hating it. Everything changed so much, to the detriment of the profession.

He has never missed any of it, including the kids, and would not advise any young person to enter the profession.

daytona0

zippygeorgeandben wrote: »

Yes - some schools suit certain people. My friend was at a school where it was all 'first name terms with the children' jeans/trainers and he hated it! He is much better suited to a school which enforces strict teacher/student roles.

That sounds like such a cool school!

mumps

Catapillerry wrote: »

Thanks.
Aware that no one can really help, but usually this site is good to get a view on things.

The point we seem to be at now after putting the off with the view that she needs to get through it is that she's struggling to actually get up for the day.. Never seen her like this. It's affecting how I'm performing.. I can't go far from home as I'm picking the kids up, dealing with illness in the day etc. That's no one but my problem, but after facing many challenges in a long relationship, this one seems the absolute lowest.

You're right, teachers seem to test each other sometimes like they want the other to suffer like they have. I don't know why that should be the case and I've never seen it anywhere I've worked, maybe it's because they're going through similar hardships.

For 20 years I was a manager/senior manager in HR. The style of management in schools constantly amazes me. I have to say my daughter hasn't had problems with colleagues just the senior leadership team. Now she is a HOD she is trying to change things in her department by building a team and being supportive, shame this doesn't always happen.

My daughter was in your wife's position 4 years ago. I don't know how she survived the PGCE and she didn't have children. Her NQT was also stressful but much more manageable the next year was great and so was the third, she took on more responsibilities and got another qualification, sponsored by the school. This year has been stressful again as she is now a head of department. The first term was really tough but she has developed so much.

Watching my daughter, and her brother who is also a teacher but a different subject, it does seem to get easier. I suppose personality comes into it, at her first school they worried that she wouldn't cope with stroppy kids who were often bigger than her but she seems to have a knack where she gets on well with kids but is regarded as strict and a bit scary if she get really annoyed.

With regards to getting a job I think things hot up after Easter, resignations go in and alot more jobs appear.

I know travelling to the inner city schools can be a problem but my daughter has chosen to go back into an inner city, multi cultural school when she was in a grammar school in a leafy suburb. She loves the kids and feels she makes a real difference.

Good luck to your wife whatever she decides to do.

Takeaway_Addict

Catapillerry wrote: »

Hello all.
I post this in desperation, so please only reply if you have constructive advise.. I can beat myself up enough about it. Please also forgive typo's. I'm tired and doing this on a phone.

I feel like we're in a complete mess,and honestly don't know what to do next .
Last year ,after doing a maths degree with the OU for a long time, my partner gained her degree. We financed it ourselves, and she did it whilst doing a full time job and having our kids.. A heck of an achievement...but not one that left us without debt (manageable but there)

She then found teacher training to put her degree to use, and discovered the bursary for maths would mean we could survive whilst she was doing it,with an income cut but manageable. New teaching jobs would mean our income cut further, but with a local school would cut travel costs, so again we'd manage.

That was the plan.. And it's turned into a nightmare. We've both worked for large companies, at a decent level, and know what long hours and hard work are. This is something else and I've seen her crumble away in front of me. I'm even struggling to do my own job properly, watching her break down and work massive hours means I can't travel much when I'm sorting the children out at either end of the day, and the pain of not really having any downtime with her as she works or is anxious and stressed has been/is a nightmare, and I feel pretty desperate myself.
Teaching itself has actually been good. The kids are as expected, and there's lots of great moments as the kids understand a topic and their eyes light up with the knowledge.

The problem has come from expectations - I was pretty critical of teachers complaining previously, and dismissive, but she's doing a full day, leaving at 5, then doing hours of lesson planning. She'll do clubs and parents evenings and meetings into the evening, and Sundays are basically a working day.

Our expectation of maths and science being in short supply so a local job being easy to come across is completely wrong. Good local schools want experienced teaching, so she's ending up looking at challenging inner city schools, which put costs and stress up high.
Interviews are from 8am until 5 in some cases, with "culls" throughout the day until there is only a few left. They offer one year contracts (almost all do that) and that offer the very minimum they can get away with (and knowing the private sector, it's relatively very low) so she's not managed to get a job for next year at any local school.
Senior staff treat them like their pupils, some of the communications she shows me just wouldn't hold water elsewhere, and there's so little downtime throughout the day, they're all too wired to stop to talk to each other. Lunch times and breaks are in clubs and in duty.. Every single day.

Now we're in further debt with the 9k plus a living loan (which we took some of because the bursary come in weird chunks throughout the year) she doesn't have a job, the prospects are looking pretty bad.
Worse still she's having major panic attacks now and hasn't yet been in this week, she's literally hiding under the covers.. I'm worried they'll pull the course from her, or if she gets another job and leaves the course (though who knows where the time to do that will come from) will they want money back?

This is a tough, experienced woman I'm talking about, and I really don't know what to suggest now.

I had to get that all down in words. Please don't be judgemental, though mistakes have been made, they're done now.

There is no shame in moving on to an easier job for the family and if she does she should not see it as failure.

pinkshoes

FACT: The PGCE is tough! Head down, pass it! (I nearly quit but just gritted my teeth and got through it - I had a 2 year old at the time too!)

Jobs: I disagree with you. I work at a good school. We spent £1000s on advertising for a maths teacher with no applicants, and in the end employed someone from Canada via a Skype interview! They were cr*p!!

If it says experience, then that also means life experience. Nothing to stop you applying. Most schools will happily employ someone inexperienced with potential, and a good school will be supportive in training. Plus NQTs are cheaper!

So get a job, pass the NQT year (not quite as tough as the PGCE, but still really hard!) and THEN request part time hours!

I now have 1 year old twins so only teach two days a week. it is still a surprising amount of work, but I actually really enjoy my job. I will go up to three days once the twins turn 3 (can't afford to otherwise!!) but will not work full time again!

RedfordML

That's a tough read.


Im currently finishing my qualifications and hoping to apply to Uni this September for Primary teacher training.


Surely it cant be all that bad, thousands of teachers in work, does this thread represent the minority??


I must say I have read more and more negativity and it does make me question if this is a sensible career option?