Teaching, nightmare.

Catapillerry

Hello all.
I post this in desperation, so please only reply if you have constructive advise.. I can beat myself up enough about it. Please also forgive typo's. I'm tired and doing this on a phone.

I feel like we're in a complete mess,and honestly don't know what to do next .
Last year ,after doing a maths degree with the OU for a long time, my partner gained her degree. We financed it ourselves, and she did it whilst doing a full time job and having our kids.. A heck of an achievement...but not one that left us without debt (manageable but there)

She then found teacher training to put her degree to use, and discovered the bursary for maths would mean we could survive whilst she was doing it,with an income cut but manageable. New teaching jobs would mean our income cut further, but with a local school would cut travel costs, so again we'd manage.

That was the plan.. And it's turned into a nightmare. We've both worked for large companies, at a decent level, and know what long hours and hard work are. This is something else and I've seen her crumble away in front of me. I'm even struggling to do my own job properly, watching her break down and work massive hours means I can't travel much when I'm sorting the children out at either end of the day, and the pain of not really having any downtime with her as she works or is anxious and stressed has been/is a nightmare, and I feel pretty desperate myself.
Teaching itself has actually been good. The kids are as expected, and there's lots of great moments as the kids understand a topic and their eyes light up with the knowledge.

The problem has come from expectations - I was pretty critical of teachers complaining previously, and dismissive, but she's doing a full day, leaving at 5, then doing hours of lesson planning. She'll do clubs and parents evenings and meetings into the evening, and Sundays are basically a working day.

Our expectation of maths and science being in short supply so a local job being easy to come across is completely wrong. Good local schools want experienced teaching, so she's ending up looking at challenging inner city schools, which put costs and stress up high.
Interviews are from 8am until 5 in some cases, with "culls" throughout the day until there is only a few left. They offer one year contracts (almost all do that) and that offer the very minimum they can get away with (and knowing the private sector, it's relatively very low) so she's not managed to get a job for next year at any local school.
Senior staff treat them like their pupils, some of the communications she shows me just wouldn't hold water elsewhere, and there's so little downtime throughout the day, they're all too wired to stop to talk to each other. Lunch times and breaks are in clubs and in duty.. Every single day.

Now we're in further debt with the 9k plus a living loan (which we took some of because the bursary come in weird chunks throughout the year) she doesn't have a job, the prospects are looking pretty bad.
Worse still she's having major panic attacks now and hasn't yet been in this week, she's literally hiding under the covers.. I'm worried they'll pull the course from her, or if she gets another job and leaves the course (though who knows where the time to do that will come from) will they want money back?

This is a tough, experienced woman I'm talking about, and I really don't know what to suggest now.

I had to get that all down in words. Please don't be judgemental, though mistakes have been made, they're done now.

daytona0

Ah! The good old teacher training

Not for the faint-hearted!

Not really sure what you are looking for from us because, sadly, nobody here has a magic wand which can cure all of your problems....

All I can really do is advise that I did a PGCE in Maths a few years ago. Walked away with credits only because, in part, I didn't get along with the people and I was already a bit depressed. The people on the course were a different type of evil though; when my tutor interviewed me for entry onto the course she all but turned round to me and said she didn't want me on the course.... Throw in a bit of bullying from colleagues (the usual "you slept with the 70 year old tutor" and "hey daytona0 we are having our group christmas meal at xxx" only to find out that they told me the wrong place because that was easier than telling me they didn't want me to come, and the constant undermining).

A whole new level of rubbish! On my first placement I was about 2 minutes away from home and nipped home on lunch for the first two days. I never did it after then, but somehow it was brought up in my exit interview 6 months later! And I got told off for popping a vitamin C tablet into my drink during lunch in the staff room :rotfl:

I was a real PGCE rebel I tell ya!! Vitamin C! :eek:

(but there were some awesome people on the course and in schools, but they tend to be more of an exception. And, ironically, they didn't all end up in schools after passing the PGCE! So there you go )

All I can really recommend is that she gets her head down and passes the course. Then deal with finding a job and the NQT year. No point wasting time and energy on job interviews if you first need to get the qualification.

Teaching training is a struggle for everyone. Generally, though, they push people over the line.

As for life after teaching training, as someone who has not quite made it I would advise that it is by no means the end of the world! The things I learnt are invaluable and help in my current role. I get the opportunity to tutor students on work placements in my work and I love it! I also volunteer in local schools. Never quite lost my passion towards teaching, but teaching in the UK is a load of rubbish!

I also did a TESOL and that was actually 100x more fun! Rubbish money like, but there are a few English language schools in larger cities across the UK and that could also be an option! It is so much more laid back in those schools in comparison!

Catapillerry

Thanks.
Aware that no one can really help, but usually this site is good to get a view on things.

The point we seem to be at now after putting the off with the view that she needs to get through it is that she's struggling to actually get up for the day.. Never seen her like this. It's affecting how I'm performing.. I can't go far from home as I'm picking the kids up, dealing with illness in the day etc. That's no one but my problem, but after facing many challenges in a long relationship, this one seems the absolute lowest.

You're right, teachers seem to test each other sometimes like they want the other to suffer like they have. I don't know why that should be the case and I've never seen it anywhere I've worked, maybe it's because they're going through similar hardships.

marliepanda

Sorry but that's just the tip of the iceberg. I recently left (primary) teaching after five years and wouldn't recommend it to my worst enemy.

The teaching is fine. Wonderful in fact. It's also about 10%of your actual job.

bugslet

Nothing much to add, but one of my closest friends secured a new job last week and has put notice into her FE college.

She's been voted best teacher in the college the last three years, the college was rubbished by OFSTED, but her department was singled out for praise. She loves the teaching and the teenagers, but can't be doing with the ridiculous level of paperwork and micromanaging that now comes with the job and came close to a breakdown last year.

It doesn't seem good for teachers at the moment. Is there anyway that she could go back to her old job? I know it might seem a waste of the work that she put in to secure her degree, but if it saves her sanity, then it's worth it. Could she do maths tutoring alongside another job, to keep her hand in, so to speak?

Jimmithecat

I would advise her to stick with it if she can - finish the course and her nqt year - as a maths teacher she should be in great demand after that.
Her course mentor should be of help in helping her over the hurdles along the way - they are well paid for this and no doubt have experienced all your wife is suffering either personally or in close proximity over the years.
There is a reason there is a teacher shortage at the moment and schools are recruiting overseas - but if your wife can stick with it I do believe it is a fantastic job that fits brilliantly around family life.
Please make sure she is a member of a union while she is a student - I don't think you have to pay as student members - for an extra level of protection.

silvercar

Look at smaller schools and faith schools, they will be more nurturing and more positive. She really is at the low point now, with course work, placements and finding work all at the same time.

MataNui

I would 100% agree with daytona0.
Teacher training can be pretty brutal. I came from industry into teaching. My first school placement was fine. A lot of work but it was OK. My second was a nightmare. Persistent bullying of a kind i had never experienced in 20 years of working in the private sector. Lesson plans were never good enough or detailed enough. I had to rewrite them several times and ended up having to also do a crib sheet as my 3 pages of font size 5 were useless to work from. I was basically doing the equivalent of 2 undergraduate essays every single night.

Constant sniping and criticism yet if i was as bad as they say why were they so happy to leave me unsupervised to teach pretty much every lesson. It wasnt just me though. The culture in the school was toxic. Many times i saw other members of staff in tears in the staff room. Talking to other people on my course in our college weeks proved this sort of thing was common.

By the end i had had enough. I didnt apply for any teaching jobs (even though one actually came up in that school). I stuck it out just for my own pride then went straight back into a private sector job doing what i had been doing before. I just looked around the staff room one day and thought i couldnt spend my life working with such a bunch of up themselves !!!!!!s with no grasp of reality. Most of them are so obsessed with their own 'professional development' etc they completely forget the point of what they are doing.

I used to respect teachers. Until i had to work with them that is.

Your partner may get lucky but to be honest getting a nice local job is pretty unlikely. My PGCE almost destroyed me. Now i dont even include it on my CV. My current employer has no idea i have one. The job that was in my placement school was taken by someone on my PGCE course. I told her what it was like. We kept in touch. She didnt manage to finish the year. She now teaches in Thailand. The worst thing about teaching isnt the behavior of the kids or government induced workload. Its the behavior of the other teachers.

StaffieTerrier

I did a PGCE and realised that teaching is more of a lifestyle than I job. I decided that it wasn't for me. I was struggling with the long hours and constant scrutiny and pressures to perform (I might add that I competed in sport at international level, so it's not something I was unused to). I was like your partner until I decided teaching wasn't for me.

I'm still friends with 4 people on the PGCE course I did. One of those had to take 6 months out due to stress and one is seriously considering leaving teaching. Teaching isn't for the faint hearted and there's a reason why so many teachers are leaving the profession. Perhaps your partner should have serious think about whether she should look at other jobs.

Catapillerry

MataNui wrote: »

I would 100% agree with daytona0.
Teacher training can be pretty brutal. I came from industry into teaching. My first school placement was fine. A lot of work but it was OK. My second was a nightmare. Persistent bullying of a kind i had never experienced in 20 years of working in the private sector. Lesson plans were never good enough or detailed enough. I had to rewrite them several times and ended up having to also do a crib sheet as my 3 pages of font size 5 were useless to work from. I was basically doing the equivalent of 2 undergraduate essays every single night.

Constant sniping and criticism yet if i was as bad as they say why were they so happy to leave me unsupervised to teach pretty much every lesson. It wasnt just me though. The culture in the school was toxic. Many times i saw other members of staff in tears in the staff room. Talking to other people on my course in our college weeks proved this sort of thing was common.

By the end i had had enough. I didnt apply for any teaching jobs (even though one actually came up in that school). I stuck it out just for my own pride then went straight back into a private sector job doing what i had been doing before. I just looked around the staff room one day and thought i couldnt spend my life working with such a bunch of up themselves !!!!!!s with no grasp of reality. Most of them are so obsessed with their own 'professional development' etc they completely forget the point of what they are doing.

I used to respect teachers. Until i had to work with them that is.

.

I don't really want to turn this into having a go at teachers, because as I think we're seeing, it's a brutal nightmare, and maybe the ones thick-skinned enough to take the constant criticism are changed by it, negatively - I'm almost convinced that would happen to my partner.
But watching this unfold it's apparent you're right.
There's lots of supportive colleagues for her, but there's also a massive contingent of people (much, much more than at this level in industry) who are prepared to step on you to get higher.


And how ridiculous a situation when everyone that's posted here has said the kids are great and inspiring, but the management and colleagues sometimes aren't.


The constant scrutiny of lesson plans is soul destroying. She can spend hours over them, and they will insist on seeing them 48 hours before. Sometimes approve them and say they're ok, then take them apart in lessons, other times rewrite them illegibly, other times not do anything and then talk behind your back to seniors.

philbostavros

Hi

I suspect that I used to be like many others in thinking that teachers had a fairly cushy life - all those holidays etc.

That was until my son met and subsequently married a primary school teacher. A pretty, intelligent and charming girl, I have watched her slowly crumble over the last 10 years. All was fine until they started a family and she had to reduce her hours to balance child care with trying to earn enough to contribute to living costs.

She was originally teaching 11+ year pupils but started working her way down to reception class, in an effort to reduce some of the burden on her time and mental state. However, even this has proved problematic, as she tries to cope with the ever-changing curricular requirements, not to mention the dreaded OFSTED visits.

As a former senior manager in the telecomms industry, I have been appalled by the lack of support her and her colleagues have received from the senior team and the culture of fear and bullying that seems to exist. The modern trend of always identifying the positives with children, doesn't seem to extend to the teaching staff?

And I know that this is not a problem at this one school, as my DIL has friends and relatives at other schools in the surrounding areas that are either at a similar breaking point or have already quit, to protect their sanity and/or marriages!

She absolutely loves her profession of nearly 15 years, but it looks like she may quit by the summer, which is very sad - and a great loss to education and the kids.