Did I do right thing?

GTR_King

I am 26 (27 in August)

I dated a girl (2nd G.F ever) (She had b-polar) met at college 1 year 3 months then we broke up mutually (Jan 2010) (Had a break 1 year 8 months was ill month after break up so deceided to stay friends when she got better) then we got back together (October 2011) (2 years)... we hardly argued & both loved each other...

We then broke up mutually, (October 2013) she told me she still loves me and if she didn't have bipolar she would of stayed with me but want to stay friends & keep me in her life. We stayed friends and texted each every once in a while/Birthdays/Xmas etc... & said hi when we bumped into the eachother. So last year (November) she deleted me off Facebook when I asked her why she got defensive said sorry I have been ill & still want to be friend with me so re added me... we texted at Xmas & New Year... Now she has deleted me again on Facebook . So I have decide to delete her phone number & not add her again is that the best thing to do?

I have dated few girls since her

UKTigerlily

Hi, I can't speak for her but I would just check that it isn't anything you said or did, and if she assures you it's not, then accept her as she is.

I do this more often than i'd like, and i've got mental health problems too; it's not an excuse but there are reasons to do it that most don't understand, so I just tell people if I do, it's not them (or they'd know if we'd argued or whatever) & that i'll add them back as soon as I can x

Pollycat

TBH, I'd not do anything at all.

Just leave her to come round if she wants to, let the friendship lapse if she doesn't get in touch,

Pop_Up_Pirate

I would leave it alone.
Move on, find a new girlfriend and let the past stay in the past.

GTR_King

I have moved on from her... I have dated other girls & been on quite a few dates.... I just wanted to stay friends with her that's all.

So I gonna let her message me' not me contacted her... but if she don't wanna be friends then so be it.. would of been nice if she had told me...

I haven't spoken to her since NYE

Kayalana99

If you have moved on from her this post would have been 'I'm really worried about her even though were not together' not 'I want to stay friends but she de-friended me on facebook wwud?!'

Honestly, you've not spoken to her in 2 months and you felt the need to post on an online fourm? If someone doesn't want to be friends forget about her and move on - that's the mature thing to do. What exactly do you want us to advise you on?

GTR_King

ok thanks for the advice....

I just wanted to know i did the right thing...

But i will move on etc

mark5

I would move on and leave her in the past, nearly every big argument I have had in relationships has come from an ex still being in the background somewhere or causing some sort of problem.

pogofish

There is no absolute right or wrong way when dealing with a partner who has MH issues.

From your OP, it looks like you have stood by her admirably for a very long time now but you can get into a situation where your continuing to be "friends" can mean you have really become co-dependant on each other in a way that's not good for either of you. You don't want to end-up as a doormat for her to land-on whenever things are bad for her, whilst being completely ignored when she's feeling good.

In that case, protecting your own health/mental health and moving-on to a more "whole" lifestyle/relationship is probably the best thing you could do - You have nothing to reproach yourself for.

GTR_King

Thanks for that advice...

Best thing to do is move on in life

System

I agree the best thing to do is move on.

Realtionships involving mental illness can be difficult even at the best of times. I can relate to the deleting of you and then panicking and re-adding you. I did it to my siblings last year. I was going though a bad depressive episode, thought they all hated me and blocked them all, all to regret it 24hrs later. If she's deleted you again that may be her way of telling you she doesn;t want contact and for your own sake maybe its best to cut things off. You tried ok? You tried and it didn;t work out and that doesn;t make you a bad person. You had to do the right thing for you.