Feel Sad

jackieblack

jhgkp wrote: »

I don't know what to do for best then. I remember one time Dad mentioned it was long time since had steak pie like mum used to make. So I thought I was kind by making this for him (using mums receipe) and taking it down. Dad enjoyed it but my elder brother commented that it had yuk stuff in it (vegetables). My sister (elder) said why did I do that - I could of bought one from shop instead of you making him one. I don't want to step on anyones toes if I do help - that's why I thought I ask.

It was kind of you and your Dad enjoyed it, that is the most important thing

Savvy_Sue

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Things change as people age. Now your dad is on his own and starting to show his age, I'm sure he would be grateful for more regular visits. 1 hour is not far away. Go and do your shopping in your Dads town , take him out for lunch etc so you can combine jobs. Don't argue with your siblings over it. Do what you think is right. Mostly remember all the hard work and sacrifices your dad probably made for you and try to care for him best you can. Men do try to ' get on with it' more than women but that doesn't mean he doesn't need you. I bet he would be so happy if you popped in unannounced. Maybe stay away from visits at the same time same day etc it can cause worry and disappointment if you can't make it one day but really 1 hour away isn't much.

This post makes a lot of sense to me, but especially the bits I've bolded given the other things you've said. It may be worth telling your siblings that you're planning to visit more regularly, but rise above comments like "what do you want?" Or it may be better to just keep turning up.

If you see anything practical you can do while you're there, personally I'd do it.

That's just reminded me, that after visits I used to email a 'report' to all my siblings - any practical jobs I'd done, any practical jobs I hadn't been able to do, where we'd been for lunch, what else we'd done, what we'd talked about, anything she was worried about, what the cleaner or the gardener had done for her ... all pretty routine stuff. No idea how much they all appreciated it, but at least they all knew that if she'd mentioned a lightbulb needing changing or a radiator needing bleeding that I'd sorted that out for her.